Film Noir

Salvete, amici.

Great to see you back again.

And in response to a question asked last week-no, Cicero does not know everything and that is why you will never read thinking on topics as unexciting, uninteresting and unnecessary as finance, operations or even audit and risk. Instead you will read about those issues that contribute to business growth-people and customers. But it is pleasing that some people think Cicero does know everything.

Now here’s a question to get you started this week-would you rather go to a film or a meeting at work? If you voted that you would rather attend a meeting at work, there is every likelihood that you are on your own. Or if not on own, at least you are in a very small minority.

Now why might that be?

If you think about it, films and meetings have an awfully lot in common and some key differences.

Each will last for about 90 minutes. And each will contain a cast of varied and interesting characters.

And yet meetings are interactive, unlike films-you can’t shout at the actor on the screen and expect the actor to pay attention. And more importantly films have no real impact on our lives. In any meeting we get to have our say and the outcome of any given discussion can have and should have a very real impact on our working and business lives. Agreed?

So meetings are actually more engaging and more relevant, yet why do we hate meetings so?

Probably because they’re boring. And why might they be boring? What stops all films becoming boring? What is the key ingredient that all great films have that boring meetings lack? Anyone know?

Drum roll.............

Conflict. Name a great film that lacks conflict whether it be physical conflict, emotional conflict or conflict of conscience or any other kind of conflict.
Too often meetings, and by extension teams, avoid conflict. They avoid real discussion and debate. As a result they are boring but more damaging is that the team has artificial harmony so no one gets upset but in reality no decisions get made. Great teams engage in productive, ideological conflict and debate. It is its ability to engage in passionate unfiltered debate that sets it apart. Not everyone has to agree but they have to feel they had their chance to say something. And when the arguing is over great teams agree and all commit to it.

It’s easy peasy to build and lead great teams. All you need to do is go to the movies.

Is it only me.....but the EU needs to get off its high horse and drink up its milk.

Those of you who know me can easily tell from my shape that I love chocolate. Indeed I love anything sweet. To ask if I have a sweet tooth is akin to asking the Dalai Lama if the Pope is catholic. I love chocolate. I adore the brown stuff. I can consume so many thick slabs of it in one go that I risk a diabetic coma. Yes, I like chocolate and Cadbury’s especially.

And now it seems that Cadbury’s has fallen out of favour with the unelected Apparatchiks in Brussels and it is time for all chocoholics to man the barricades in defence, yes of Cadburys choccie bars, but more importantly to defend common sense from more Apparatchik nonsense.

For it is now illegal for Cadburys to refer to a ‘glass and a half’ as a key ingredient in its Dairy Milk bars, the Rolls Royce of choccie bars. According to Monsieur Jobsworth and Herr Nitpick such descriptions contravene European regulations. Instead Cadburys must now say that its Dairy Milk bars contain ‘the equivalent of 426ml of fresh liquid milk in every 227g of milk chocolate". Now that really does trip off the tongue.

And no I am not kidding. And nor is it April 1st.

Yes, difficult as it is to believe, some nameless and faceless Euro-Apparatchik did in recent days decide without a shred of humour or a soupcon of common sense that Cadburys must change their strap line. And do you know what is worse, as this proposal no doubt trundled its way up and down and along and down and up the corridors of power across Europe, no one, not one person, no monsieur, herren or senorita, thought this was a dumb idea and should be stopped.

Now it might only be me, and this time I doubt it is, but this is surely what happens when we let Apparatchiks run the asylum. I don’t know about taking action to re-claim the streets but I do want to re-claim my sweets from the evil clutches of the Apparatchiks of Europe, or even our own home-grown ones.

Have a great week.

Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.