Monkey business

In case you were wondering the road is now mended and being used as a road once again. And in record time too. Maybe someone of influence and import has been reading these words and took the hint that Japanese Navvies whould be employed to replace those from this scept’red isle.

Now the 6 words that Cicero never ever wants anyone to hear are ‘that’s just the way it is’.

Firstly that is an excuse for an intelligent explanation as to why things are. And secondly it is just the way it is because that is how we let it be. It is not a law of nature that some things cannot be changed if it is in the interests of good customer service or a more effective and efficient business.

But Cicero constantly hears this refrain from colleagues unwilling or unable to question and change the way things are done; from front line operatives in businesses Cicero graces with his custom who are too indolent or disempowered to do anything about it; from other citizens who accept shoddy service because...well just because that is the way it is.

Cicero screams at this passivity, apathy, acceptance.

Last week Cicero met a truly amazing man. And if you are of a certain age you too will know of him because for a while he hit and remained in the news headlines. The tale he told was not about him however and so for the purposes of these words of wit and wisdom, he will remain in the background.

He told me the story of five monkeys which might help explain why that is just the way it is.

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. You will also need a banana, a hosepipe and a substantial supply of very cold water. Place half the monkeys in the cage, along with the banana, but make sure the banana requires some effort for the monkeys to obtain.

Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and at the top of a pole. Before long, a monkey will go to the pole and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the pole, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result: all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the pole, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the pole. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the pole, he will be assaulted. Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the pole and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the pole, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the pole or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the pole to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.

If you always do what you’ve always done: you’ll always get what you’ve always got! New uncertainties require new solutions and sometimes we have to unlearn as well as learn to find new solutions. And that is monkey business!

Is it only me....but this is truly hair raising.

Sometimes I see, read or hear stuff in the media that makes me really despair for the future of this country and to scream out ‘NO! I DONT BELIEVE IT’. For no matter what those of us who are right minded try to do there is always some influential Guardianista-type acting as a common sense preventer.

So what is this week’s the-world’s-gone-mad incident?

Now we all know that the schools are in this country are a mess. With their increasing emphasis as a tool for social engineering and for ensuring that we dumb down to ensure that the lazy, the thick and the couldn’t-care-less are given the same opportunities as those who are bright, interested and engaged, it is no wonder that we are failing to turn out kids who can read, write, add up and know their Latin.

In the same week as the Two Caesars together with their little helpers talk about raising standards and addressing the problems of failing schools at primary and secondary level, their efforts and those of the good teachers who day in, day out seek to inspire their charges, are undermined by Guardianista-made law as interpreted by Guardianista-judges.

As all good schools and right thinking parents know, good discipline underpins a good education which is why those put in charge of failing schools know that enforcing good discipline and uniform codes is a must.

And yet what happen when a school tries to enforce its code on hair styles, and in particular the use of corn braiding which is said to be associated with gang culture, and when its headmaster insists on "a traditional schoolboy haircut"? It runs foul of some Guardianista attitude.

Firstly the family claim it's part of his cultural identity and then incredulously this attitude is supported by the courts who deem the policy racist.
We should all give up now.

Now it might only be me but if we are going to give headmasters and our teachers accountability and responsibility for improving the educational welfare of our kids, and boy is this needed, then all branches of society must support and back them. Even the Guardian. A ‘traditional schoolboy hair cut’ never did me any harm.

Have a great week

Et sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.