Budgie smugglers

Is it only me…but how can I be inspired when it is out of season. I know that like me, and despite my cynical intentions, you will have enjoyed watching people perform citius, altius, fortius, through the Olympic and Paralympic SportsFest. Indeed I would go further than enjoy. I have been inspired. And as the Olympic caravan packs up its Big Tent and moves on to Rio, I have taken to heart Mr Seb’s ambition and been inspired. I am the legacy. And now I aim for two or three early morning visits per week to my local swimming pool while on my way into my place of employment for a pre-dawn thrash up and down the pool thirty or so times with some very fit superannuated wrinklies. But I am being let down and Mr Seb’s legacy ambition is being thwarted not by the Two Caesar’s policies or by the age of austerity but by Marks and Spencer, my fashion retailer of choice. For to enable to me to perform at my peak and to optimise my performance just like Mr Hoy, Mr Farah and Ms Ennis, I need the right equipment, in my case a stylish, flattering and performance optimising pair of budgie smugglers. Or indeed anything suitable for my aquatic thrash. And so you can imagine my chagrin on enquiring in branch and even looking online to discover that, in the words of one of Twiggy’s little helpers, ‘this was not the right time for selling swimming trunks’. Now maybe it’s only me but it is the small details like that which will undermine Mr Seb’s legacy aspiration. How many people are going to wait until it is the right season before they can fulfil their inspiration? The momentum we have all paid billions to generate will be lost. Messrs Marks and Spencer should surely have anticipated a rush for athletic equipment post the games and strained every sinew to ensure that their shelves and stock cupboards were stuffed to overflowing with sporting clothing for every shape and size. And who says that swimming has a season anyway? It is clearly possible to swim throughout the year as indeed it is well and truly possible for folks to go away at any time of the year. It is not decreed anywhere as far as I know, and I don’t think even Europe has got round to standardising this yet, that you can only swim or even sell swimming gear in certain months. And I even think it possible that you can go on holiday to sunnier climes at any time of the year. Twiggy and her supermodel pals may be cavorting about on our TV screens dressed to the nines in M&S outfits but for me the lack of attention to detail being shown by their employers is seriously hampering my preparations for 2016. And it is bad business for them. If anyone knows where I can find a pair of budgie smugglers for the fashion conscious and athletic aspirant, please do tell. Have a great week. Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.