Coffee to go

Is it only me…but most of the country does live beyond the Watford Gap.

It may have escaped your notice, though fortunately my eagle eyes spotted it, that Starbucks is to launch a loyalty scheme for all those with the time to wait while its Baristas pull levers and emit steam to manufacture a cup of coffee.

Nothing wrong with that, I can hear you say. After all many retailers  in a quest to understand who their customers might be and what they are buying have such schemes in place though as a seasoned marketer of many years standing I seriously doubt if these are anything to do with loyalty. I have a walletful of plastic like this and my custom is rarely bought just because I get something for nothing. True loyalty in any event is emotional not mercenary.

But back to Starbucks.

Here the issue is not loyalty but the nature of the bribes-it is offering priority booking to the Natural History Museum and 2 for 1 deals to the ice rink in exchange for the purchase of a tall skinny mochacappucina.

And where are these offers based? Why London of course.

And the Marketing Grand Fromage has the gall to say ‘we want to make sure customers can earn rewards wherever they interact with the brand.”

Sure you might be able to earn them but not to redeem them should you live beyond the Pale or beyond the M25 as the Highways Agency likes to refer to it.

Now maybe it’s only me but why do those with influence in this country assume that everyone worthy of their attention lives within hailing distance of a Black Cab. There is a world beyond the end of the Metropolitan Line, you know.

In history, and especially in Irish history, the phrase ‘beyond the Pale’ was used to denote that part of the country where wild people lived, the barbarians, the savages. Surely Starbucks and quite a few other brands with London-centric promotions and offers do not consider me and countless millions others like me not in possession of an Oyster Card to be barbarians or savages. This is not good for business.

And so if you want my loyalty, or repeat custom might be better a description, I would suggest with the greatest of respect to the Marketing Grand Fromage at Starbucks, and other Marketing Grand Fromages who think and act like him, that he, or maybe she, gives us the right to not only earn rewards wherever we might be but also to redeem them with offers more local, relevant and convenient to us.

I applaud your marketing gimmick to know my name. Now learn where I live. I will give you a clue-you won’t see any red buses in my corner of the Pale.

Have a great week.

Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.