Whose data is it anyway?

Now it is a well-known fact that Cicero, although getting on a bit now, has the brain the size of a planet, which is good and bad. Good because his insights are always worth listening to. Bad because he doesn’t always suffer fools gladly. 

It is important to know this because he sometimes wonders whether the Apparatchiks who run and deliver many of the services that our hard earned taxes pay for, deliberately recruit from the intellectually challenged parts of society.

Not everyone, of course.

Cicero does recognise that there are some ferociously bright Apparatchiks. It is just that they tend not to be public facing and as a consequence when it is our misfortune to have to deal with these people, let us just say that their intellectual capabilities can be stretched to the limit.

Here is one example. There are however many to choose from.

For reasons that are too boring to explain, Cicero is currently enduring a relationship with a Local Apparatchik. To this person Cicero has entrusted a wealth of personal data and information without fuss, security checks and other bureaucratic niceties and nonsenses that Apparatchiks normally insist on. This bit is like a breath of fresh air.

Now this is where it gets interesting.

Cicero then decided to request a copy of the information that the Apparatchik and his cohorts held about him to ensure accuracy and veracity. This, he and the rest of the citizenry, are fully entitled by law to do.

But at this point the informality that characterized the gathering and collecting in of his personal data disappeared. To be replaced by a ruthless Kafka-ism that only Apparatchiks are capable of.

For in order to get back the data that Cicero had already supplied, Cicero was now required  to produce his passport or other photographic proof of identity and 2 bills with address details on.

Naturally Cicero queried such bureaucratic nonsense.

‘Data protection, mate’, was the response. A lazy excuse for Apparatchik thinking if ever there was one.

So let us get this right.

Cicero was required to provide photographic proof of identity to an Apparatchik he had never met or was ever likely to meet. And to provide proof of address to prove he lived at an address that he had provided.

And the really sad bit about this tale-the Apparatchiks with whom Cicero was trying to converse with this through this over-engineered bureaucracy failed to see the logic of his argument. And they wonder why we challenge their right to a taxpayer-subsidised over-stuffed pension pot.

In their defence increasingly many people in many industries are resorting to hiding behind nonsenses like security, health and safety and data protection to justify inaction, poor customer service and sloth.

These excuses justify nothing.

And to expose such sloppy thinking just ask which data protection principle or health and safety condition they are referring to when they quote and resort to Nanny Legislation such as these. Their defences will melt like butter when challenged in this way.

Cicero has taken issue in this way with the Apparatchiks with whom is he dealing and is currently challenging the Head Apparatchik. Maybe he is the brightest of bright sparks and can see the folly of his people. Or perhaps not. Time will tell.

Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus. Semper.