Greetings. And welcome back. .
I would like to apologise in advance if you were tempted to read this by my title because you thought that this week Cicero might be a wee bit naughty. You are going to be sorely disappointed.
I bought a book last week. I am sure that this will not come as a great surprise to you. There must be some source for my great wisdom and enlightenment. I bought it online and before you could say Ovid’s ‘Metamorphoses’ I was being presented with a list of other books I might like to read given the subject of my initial purchase. Brilliant.
And then I went on to the music section of said dotcom survivor and having purchased my recording of the latest beat combo, I was presented with another list of recommended titles I might like to acquire. Again brilliant.
A day or two later I was induced to make a donation to some charity or other in support of some person or other who was undertaking some totally pointless, daft or dangerous activity to raise money Still it was in a good cause. I knew how many bawbees I wanted to invest but was then shown a list of donors who had donated substantial sums, and not wishing to be thought mean (heaven forbid,) I invested a few more bawbees in this charity. Now that is not bad going for a Scotsman. It was interesting that I was not shown the details of those who had made nickel and dime donations
Whether buying books or CDs or making donations, I had just become a serial victim of nudge marketing and damn clever it is too.
So what exactly is ‘nudge marketing’ and how does it work? Well I am now going to tell you.
None of us want to be very different from those around us. Instead we want to belong to our social norm. We want to be on the side of the good guys so if we can provide proper information to consumers about the acceptable norm plus a gentle push in the right direction then they will be persuaded to change their behaviour. Just like me and my donation. I wanted to belong to on the side of the rich donors. I did not want to be seen as a Scots meanie even if I am one of those. I wanted to belong and to be seen as belonging. And by the way I like to think that my social norm is Brad Pitt.
We are all strongly influenced by those around us, even though we may think we are not. To prove it there is an experiment in which people are shown a number of lines and asked to identify the two that are the same length. The answer is clear, and on their own, people make the right choice. However, if people are told that a majority before them has made another choice, in many cases they will give the same wrong answer. Now that is really worrying.
Let me give you a practical example from another sector of nudge marketing at work. In an effort to satisfy the eco- and enviro-mentalist, the people who put mental into the environment, one American utility company introduced smiley faces on customers’ bills if they used less energy than the norm and a sad face if they used more. The result-high users reduced their consumption by even more and low users kept their consumption down.
Even supermarkets are getting in on the act. I got an extra reward point the other day for eschewing my free plastic bag. Seemingly my eco-mentalist friends have persuaded the supermarkets that plastic bags are bad for us. I’m not complaining for an extra reward point I was nudged to change my behaviour.
And perhaps if the EU adopted similar practices we might still have 100 watt light bulbs. Instead we have to grope around in the dark, our eyesight fading fast, just so we save enough energy to allow one or two eco- or enviro-mentalist to have two baths a years. I always think that if a government has to ban something it is because they don’t have enough good arguments to persuade.
I am sure that in your business with a little bit of thought you can find ways to nudge your customers to buy more or to behave as you would like. But there is a downside and our marketing nudges must be used sparingly and with caution. We are not trying to be pinball wizards here and too many nudges will leave customers feeling manipulated and second-guessed, in the same way that I now want to say “nudge off” when Amazon dares to presume what books it thinks I will like. Get it right and the world can be your lobster.
So let’s get nudging.
Is it only me?
I was talking last week with a health worker. I don’t mean the kind of health worker you go to when you are ill but the kind of health worker in a suit who manages and measures the people we go to when we are ill.
Anyway it now seems that we no longer have accidents as in road traffic but incidents. I guess that means that when you accidentally drop or spill something or bump into someone you incidentally do it. I don’t know why this has been changed or who changed it but I bet it was some state employee with too much time on his or hands who woke up one morning and thought ‘I know what I will do today. I will abolish accidents and replace them all with incidents. Should keep me busy for a day or two’.
It might only be me but I know what they mean when they say accident. We all do. So why change the meaning of a perfectly good word. Unless of course it was an incident and the change was a typo.
If anyone can enlighten me and explain this change or come up with a theory for the change, please do share. Sounds to me like another example of regulation gone mad.
Have a great week.
Sit felix. Et sit fortunatus.
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Friday, 4 September 2009
Friday, 28 August 2009
Columbus and the Statue of Liberty
Welcome back.
I cannot tell you how pleasing it is to see that once again you have navigated your way safely through the communications super highway to see what insight, drivel and bile has been spewed forth this week. Cicero shall of course not let you down and shall make your visit and efforts worthwhile.
No update from my TSSB this week.
And following on from last week’s discourse on ASBO kids with photofit features, most of the feedback received tends to be around what kind of grapes Cicero likes. Cicero has also been informed that this topic has become the subject of an active Twitter debate….whatever that might be. I do not understand why this topic should be of such concern to bird watchers. Anyway, no matter. For the record Cicero likes his grapes green and peeled.
Is your business customer centric? Course it is. Your Chief Executive tells you it is and your marketing chief will tell you that it is their role to make your business customer centric. How do I know this? Just a hunch and years of cynicism.
But has anyone ever stopped and thought what exactly it means to be customer centric. I only ask because I heard some head honcho say this recently and I asked him what he meant and what he was doing. The panic on his face and the bluster in his voice revealed so much. And it set Cicero thinking. What exactly is customer centricity? And how do we know when we are customer centric?
Cicero is reminded at this point of Columbus when he poses such a question. When Columbus set out for America he did not know where he was going. When he got there he did not know where he was. And when he got back he did not know where he had been. Is the same true for customer centricity? Although I don’t understand Columbus for surely the Statue of Liberty was a bit of a clue to where he was.
Anyway back to the meaning of customer centricity.
For some it’s about making products and services that customers want to buy based on meeting a real need. Sorry but that’s what marketing is all about. Surely customer centricity means more than that.
For some businesses, customer centricity is about leadership and culture where staff are motivated to go the extra mile for customers. So now we have two definitions.
For others it’s about data and they would argue that by gathering as much data as you can about and from your customers and then employing people with brains the size of planets, so unlike me, to analyse this to the precision and depth of circumcising gnats, they can develop offers driven by this data. Others will re-design processes so that these fit around the customer rather than making the customer fit around their processes.
And as the Irish comedian said, come here, there’s more.
Yet another school will define customer centricity in terms of customisation and personalisation. Every customer is different so we need to organise products, services and communications to fit individual preferences and priorities.
So what is it? Is it about products or culture or process design or data or customisation? Now do you see the problem? Might I suggest you ask in your business and see how many definitions you get.
Now you could answer that maybe it’s the whole lot. And you might be right but no business could face in so many directions at once. Where is the priority? Where is the focus? And if there is no clarity around which everyone in your business can agree and if the same words are being used but to mean different things, well that is just a recipe for chaos.
Maybe there is no standard definition of customer centricity; maybe as a phrase it’s too glib. Maybe the flavour of customer centricity your business chooses is dependent on the business model, the market category, the strengths and capabilities of your business.
I know many of you will by now be waiting with bated breath for Cicero’s well thought out analysis and definition. As someone far more eloquent than even I once so succinctly put it, it's time to ‘stop doing dumb things to our customers’. Maybe it is that simple. Maybe true customer centricity comes from a top to bottom focus on fixing things that drive customers away. Or as Cicero has said many times before, it’s all about making it easy for customers to do business with us.
Is it only me?
Cicero had to travel at the weekend on Britain’s fine railway network and I must report that it was a surprisingly pleasant experience. Apart from one thing-the dreaded engineering works which turned a normal one hour trip into a three hour slog involving extra changes and buses.
Now I do understand why our Victorian railway system must be maintained and I do applaud the efforts of the train companies to let me know in advance that my journey was going to be extended and their creativity in getting me to my final destination, but I do think that they have got the engineering works thing the wrong way round. And so in an effort to be helpful Cicero has looked at the problem commercially.
It is traditional for engineering works to be done at the weekend to minimise disruption. But weekend travel is largely for leisure traffic and the spend discretionary. Weekday travel is largely commuter based and the journeys necessary. Ergo for train companies to maximise revenue engineering works should be done through the working week hitting commuters who are going to travel by train anyway rather than at weekends where the leisure traffic will find alternative ways to get from A to B.
What do you think? I suspect that this week it is only me thinking like this.
Have a great week
Sit felix. Et sit fortunatus.
I cannot tell you how pleasing it is to see that once again you have navigated your way safely through the communications super highway to see what insight, drivel and bile has been spewed forth this week. Cicero shall of course not let you down and shall make your visit and efforts worthwhile.
No update from my TSSB this week.
And following on from last week’s discourse on ASBO kids with photofit features, most of the feedback received tends to be around what kind of grapes Cicero likes. Cicero has also been informed that this topic has become the subject of an active Twitter debate….whatever that might be. I do not understand why this topic should be of such concern to bird watchers. Anyway, no matter. For the record Cicero likes his grapes green and peeled.
Is your business customer centric? Course it is. Your Chief Executive tells you it is and your marketing chief will tell you that it is their role to make your business customer centric. How do I know this? Just a hunch and years of cynicism.
But has anyone ever stopped and thought what exactly it means to be customer centric. I only ask because I heard some head honcho say this recently and I asked him what he meant and what he was doing. The panic on his face and the bluster in his voice revealed so much. And it set Cicero thinking. What exactly is customer centricity? And how do we know when we are customer centric?
Cicero is reminded at this point of Columbus when he poses such a question. When Columbus set out for America he did not know where he was going. When he got there he did not know where he was. And when he got back he did not know where he had been. Is the same true for customer centricity? Although I don’t understand Columbus for surely the Statue of Liberty was a bit of a clue to where he was.
Anyway back to the meaning of customer centricity.
For some it’s about making products and services that customers want to buy based on meeting a real need. Sorry but that’s what marketing is all about. Surely customer centricity means more than that.
For some businesses, customer centricity is about leadership and culture where staff are motivated to go the extra mile for customers. So now we have two definitions.
For others it’s about data and they would argue that by gathering as much data as you can about and from your customers and then employing people with brains the size of planets, so unlike me, to analyse this to the precision and depth of circumcising gnats, they can develop offers driven by this data. Others will re-design processes so that these fit around the customer rather than making the customer fit around their processes.
And as the Irish comedian said, come here, there’s more.
Yet another school will define customer centricity in terms of customisation and personalisation. Every customer is different so we need to organise products, services and communications to fit individual preferences and priorities.
So what is it? Is it about products or culture or process design or data or customisation? Now do you see the problem? Might I suggest you ask in your business and see how many definitions you get.
Now you could answer that maybe it’s the whole lot. And you might be right but no business could face in so many directions at once. Where is the priority? Where is the focus? And if there is no clarity around which everyone in your business can agree and if the same words are being used but to mean different things, well that is just a recipe for chaos.
Maybe there is no standard definition of customer centricity; maybe as a phrase it’s too glib. Maybe the flavour of customer centricity your business chooses is dependent on the business model, the market category, the strengths and capabilities of your business.
I know many of you will by now be waiting with bated breath for Cicero’s well thought out analysis and definition. As someone far more eloquent than even I once so succinctly put it, it's time to ‘stop doing dumb things to our customers’. Maybe it is that simple. Maybe true customer centricity comes from a top to bottom focus on fixing things that drive customers away. Or as Cicero has said many times before, it’s all about making it easy for customers to do business with us.
Is it only me?
Cicero had to travel at the weekend on Britain’s fine railway network and I must report that it was a surprisingly pleasant experience. Apart from one thing-the dreaded engineering works which turned a normal one hour trip into a three hour slog involving extra changes and buses.
Now I do understand why our Victorian railway system must be maintained and I do applaud the efforts of the train companies to let me know in advance that my journey was going to be extended and their creativity in getting me to my final destination, but I do think that they have got the engineering works thing the wrong way round. And so in an effort to be helpful Cicero has looked at the problem commercially.
It is traditional for engineering works to be done at the weekend to minimise disruption. But weekend travel is largely for leisure traffic and the spend discretionary. Weekday travel is largely commuter based and the journeys necessary. Ergo for train companies to maximise revenue engineering works should be done through the working week hitting commuters who are going to travel by train anyway rather than at weekends where the leisure traffic will find alternative ways to get from A to B.
What do you think? I suspect that this week it is only me thinking like this.
Have a great week
Sit felix. Et sit fortunatus.
Sunday, 23 August 2009
Soldier, Soldier
Greetings, amici.
And, yes, our TSSB lift problem persists. Indeed they worsen. And in past week your State workers have been reduced to one lift. I know you worry about these things.
However since Cicero is here yet again this week, no doubt to your dismay, you can rest assured that this news does not seem to breach some State secrecy rule. It must be covered by Freedom of Information.
Cicero would like to thank those of you taking advantage of the capability to post comments. It is good to know you are awake and thinking. Cicero would however like to point out that when he mentioned last week that he was using the facilities to relieve himself, it was a totally natural bodily function of which he spoke.
Moving swiftly on.
Last week Cicero had an MBA lesson from a chat with a soldier and I felt this was so enlightening that I thought I should immediately share and disseminate the insight and learning with my devoted followers.
This soldier had just returned from Afghanistan, fortunately with all his limbs intact, where he led a troop of our finest warriors. As all real warriors do he was reluctant to speak about what was going on out there and what it was like, and in any event could someone like me ever really comprehend where the worst wound I am ever going to get is a paper cut and even public servants don’t get medals for that. But I digress.
I was talking to my soldier friend about leadership and the applicability of leadership under fire to my environment, and yours too I would guess, where the only fire we are ever likely to be under will come from the health and safety gauleiters.
And then he said something that struck me.
In a mere 7 words, in nearly as many steps as I was taught last week to wash my hands, he said everything you need to know about leadership-‘it’s about your men and the mission’.
And there you have it. Look after your people and keep yourself and those around you focused on the mission, the task you have been given, and success will surely follow.
Now Cicero has done an MBA. He has done leadership development courses. He has built rafts from sticky back plastic and washing up liquid bottles and ferried colleagues across lakes and shark infested lawns. All designed o teach me leadership skills. I need not have bothered. I could have saved myself a whole lot of time and money. All I needed was the price of a cup of coffee and 5 minutes with Colonel Blimp and I would have learnt everything I need to know about effective leadership.
Looking after you men, and I guess might even include women, does not mean being nice to them. It means making sure that they have everything they need to do their job to the best of their ability. It means working with them to identify and remove their interferences. It means listening to them and their input. Looking after them when wounded from a paper cut or staple wound. And most of all it means ensuring you show that you appreciate their efforts.
And by being clear about your mission you and your people know exactly what they have to do, where they are heading, and the measures of success. Take your mission, your objectives, break these down and ensure your people know what their mission is, where they fit in the bigger scheme of things.
‘It’s about your mission and your men’ is this week’s mantra. If it works in the searing and parched heat of Afghanistan and when under fire, why can’t it work where we fight our battles? I doubt we will win any medals but our jobs have just become a whole lot easier.
Is it only me?
I was travelling home the other night from my TSSB for a well deserved rest after another day of toil protecting the citizenry that they might sleep easy in their beds. On train were four youths with ASBO-esque tendencies and with photo-fit features creating all kind of anti social mayhem and disruption while the decent folk on the train, and they outnumbered the ASBO-ites, cowered behind papers, books or somehow found something interesting to look at out of the window.
The last straw for Cicero was when one of the photo-fits lit up a cigarette. Cicero decided to challenge and confront. After a brief confrontation the photo fit backed down, no doubt baffled by my use of Latin, exquisite sentence construction and finely honed rhetoric.
Now it might only be me but I was astounded by the lack of support offered to Cicero by those suited and booted around me. We must remember that we are the majority, silent or otherwise, and if we look away the ASBO-ites win. There is safety in numbers and that applies to us too. And so the next time you see someone in rhetorical and reasoned debate with an ASBO, please don’t look away, please render help and support and back up, it might just be Cicero.
And let me know. Did Cicero do the right thing? Was he reckless? What would you do?
Have a great week.
Sit felix. Et sit fortunatus.
And, yes, our TSSB lift problem persists. Indeed they worsen. And in past week your State workers have been reduced to one lift. I know you worry about these things.
However since Cicero is here yet again this week, no doubt to your dismay, you can rest assured that this news does not seem to breach some State secrecy rule. It must be covered by Freedom of Information.
Cicero would like to thank those of you taking advantage of the capability to post comments. It is good to know you are awake and thinking. Cicero would however like to point out that when he mentioned last week that he was using the facilities to relieve himself, it was a totally natural bodily function of which he spoke.
Moving swiftly on.
Last week Cicero had an MBA lesson from a chat with a soldier and I felt this was so enlightening that I thought I should immediately share and disseminate the insight and learning with my devoted followers.
This soldier had just returned from Afghanistan, fortunately with all his limbs intact, where he led a troop of our finest warriors. As all real warriors do he was reluctant to speak about what was going on out there and what it was like, and in any event could someone like me ever really comprehend where the worst wound I am ever going to get is a paper cut and even public servants don’t get medals for that. But I digress.
I was talking to my soldier friend about leadership and the applicability of leadership under fire to my environment, and yours too I would guess, where the only fire we are ever likely to be under will come from the health and safety gauleiters.
And then he said something that struck me.
In a mere 7 words, in nearly as many steps as I was taught last week to wash my hands, he said everything you need to know about leadership-‘it’s about your men and the mission’.
And there you have it. Look after your people and keep yourself and those around you focused on the mission, the task you have been given, and success will surely follow.
Now Cicero has done an MBA. He has done leadership development courses. He has built rafts from sticky back plastic and washing up liquid bottles and ferried colleagues across lakes and shark infested lawns. All designed o teach me leadership skills. I need not have bothered. I could have saved myself a whole lot of time and money. All I needed was the price of a cup of coffee and 5 minutes with Colonel Blimp and I would have learnt everything I need to know about effective leadership.
Looking after you men, and I guess might even include women, does not mean being nice to them. It means making sure that they have everything they need to do their job to the best of their ability. It means working with them to identify and remove their interferences. It means listening to them and their input. Looking after them when wounded from a paper cut or staple wound. And most of all it means ensuring you show that you appreciate their efforts.
And by being clear about your mission you and your people know exactly what they have to do, where they are heading, and the measures of success. Take your mission, your objectives, break these down and ensure your people know what their mission is, where they fit in the bigger scheme of things.
‘It’s about your mission and your men’ is this week’s mantra. If it works in the searing and parched heat of Afghanistan and when under fire, why can’t it work where we fight our battles? I doubt we will win any medals but our jobs have just become a whole lot easier.
Is it only me?
I was travelling home the other night from my TSSB for a well deserved rest after another day of toil protecting the citizenry that they might sleep easy in their beds. On train were four youths with ASBO-esque tendencies and with photo-fit features creating all kind of anti social mayhem and disruption while the decent folk on the train, and they outnumbered the ASBO-ites, cowered behind papers, books or somehow found something interesting to look at out of the window.
The last straw for Cicero was when one of the photo-fits lit up a cigarette. Cicero decided to challenge and confront. After a brief confrontation the photo fit backed down, no doubt baffled by my use of Latin, exquisite sentence construction and finely honed rhetoric.
Now it might only be me but I was astounded by the lack of support offered to Cicero by those suited and booted around me. We must remember that we are the majority, silent or otherwise, and if we look away the ASBO-ites win. There is safety in numbers and that applies to us too. And so the next time you see someone in rhetorical and reasoned debate with an ASBO, please don’t look away, please render help and support and back up, it might just be Cicero.
And let me know. Did Cicero do the right thing? Was he reckless? What would you do?
Have a great week.
Sit felix. Et sit fortunatus.
Friday, 14 August 2009
The condemned man
Welcome back.
And a great big Cicero Speaks welcome to my new follower. Cicero is mightily obliged that that you have taken the time and trouble to join this particular cult.
I know you want an update on this week’s news from my TSSB. It will come as no surprise to those of you who have been following my words of wit and wisdom for some time now that yet again a lift is out of order. It seems that the State has trouble keeping its quota of 3 lifts in full working order for more than 5 consecutive days It does make you wonder if any other parts of the State machine are only able to work at 2/3 capacity at any one time. No wonder things are not going well.
I hope that by discussing the status of the lifts Cicero is not breaching some state secrets act or other. If Cicero does not appear next week, you will know I have.
Last week Cicero had occasion to try to do business with the State in a private citizen capacity. The only way it was possible to do business with this particular arm of the State apparatus was via its website.
Except you couldn’t.
For just like the lifts in my TSSB, and maybe this website was maintained by the same people charged with maintaining the lifts, the website was not functioning. There is a pattern beginning to emerge here.
For 6 days this website was not functioning. Think about this. The only way the citizenry could do its business with this corner of the State’s empire was online and for 6 days this was not possible. Could you imagine eBay or Amazon or Google allowing its online presence to be unavailable for 6 days? That is the road to ruin.
On seventh day, unlike God when creating the world, Cicero sprang into action and resolved to action. After scything through layer after layer after layer of state bureaucrats, pointing out the error of their ways, Cicero eventually reached the inner sanctum of the head honcho’s office only to be told by the praetorian guard that kept the head honcho away from the citizenry that the head honcho did not speak to mere mortals like myself. I have previously pointed out that this kind of response from a head honcho sets a poor example and is really not good business or marketing practice. You do not engage with your customers through bullet proof windows. A lesson learnt from the bad lands of Iraq and Afghanistan.
To her immense credit the head honcho, who must be a devoted reader of my words, did call back quite unexpectedly. The discussion was cordial and constructive and quite quickly she came to accept the cogency of Cicero’s viewpoint and the matter was resolved.
Now maybe there are loads of lessons for all of us and for all our businesses in this case study. There are certainly a lot of behaviours which contradicts Cicero’s principles of a customer led organisation. But let me leave you with one thought this week.
Cicero often gets asked by those seeking the path of enlightenment, why when confronted with examples of appalling ineptitude like that experienced above, must he make a fuss, a very non British trait? The reason, amici, is simple. Cicero works on principle that to accept bad customer service is to condemn the next customer to experience the same
And that is why Cicero will never accept or tolerate or put up with a poor customer experience. And that is why Cicero persists in pointing out to head honchos, their praetorian guard and their foot soldiers, the error of their ways. Remember I do it for you.
Is it just me?
More news from the Royal Institute for Incredibly Stupid People, an organisation devoted to alleviating the suffering of people lacking common sense and to making Britain a safer place for the incredibly stupid.
I went the other day to relieve myself in one of my TSSB’s well appointed toilets. I know this is more information than you might want to know but it is important to provide context. And in this wee room was one of the State’s finest engineers applying some very important news for harassed state employees to all the mirrors. I could just about see myself in the looking glass which was a great relief but only just. For this was indeed very important news and did indeed warrant a large poster to ensure we did not miss the message and to ensure that it made an impact on us.
By this time you will no doubt be breathless with anticipation. What was this very important news that had to be communicated with such dire urgency to your ruling elite? It was…….wait for it…….are you ready for this……an 8 step guide to washing your hands.
Brilliant news. I have been waiting all my life for someone to teach me to wash my hands. And in only 8 steps too.
Is it only me who thinks that this is surely one of the dumbest pieces of communication ever? I find it difficult to believe that there can even be as many as 8 steps to hand washing. Hands up anyone who does not know how to wash their hands, or any other part of their anatomy. Still good to know that the incredibly stupid can now wash their hands properly. That’s a relief to know. I can sleep easy now.
And on that bombshell, have a great week.
Sit Felix. Et sit fortunatus.
And a great big Cicero Speaks welcome to my new follower. Cicero is mightily obliged that that you have taken the time and trouble to join this particular cult.
I know you want an update on this week’s news from my TSSB. It will come as no surprise to those of you who have been following my words of wit and wisdom for some time now that yet again a lift is out of order. It seems that the State has trouble keeping its quota of 3 lifts in full working order for more than 5 consecutive days It does make you wonder if any other parts of the State machine are only able to work at 2/3 capacity at any one time. No wonder things are not going well.
I hope that by discussing the status of the lifts Cicero is not breaching some state secrets act or other. If Cicero does not appear next week, you will know I have.
Last week Cicero had occasion to try to do business with the State in a private citizen capacity. The only way it was possible to do business with this particular arm of the State apparatus was via its website.
Except you couldn’t.
For just like the lifts in my TSSB, and maybe this website was maintained by the same people charged with maintaining the lifts, the website was not functioning. There is a pattern beginning to emerge here.
For 6 days this website was not functioning. Think about this. The only way the citizenry could do its business with this corner of the State’s empire was online and for 6 days this was not possible. Could you imagine eBay or Amazon or Google allowing its online presence to be unavailable for 6 days? That is the road to ruin.
On seventh day, unlike God when creating the world, Cicero sprang into action and resolved to action. After scything through layer after layer after layer of state bureaucrats, pointing out the error of their ways, Cicero eventually reached the inner sanctum of the head honcho’s office only to be told by the praetorian guard that kept the head honcho away from the citizenry that the head honcho did not speak to mere mortals like myself. I have previously pointed out that this kind of response from a head honcho sets a poor example and is really not good business or marketing practice. You do not engage with your customers through bullet proof windows. A lesson learnt from the bad lands of Iraq and Afghanistan.
To her immense credit the head honcho, who must be a devoted reader of my words, did call back quite unexpectedly. The discussion was cordial and constructive and quite quickly she came to accept the cogency of Cicero’s viewpoint and the matter was resolved.
Now maybe there are loads of lessons for all of us and for all our businesses in this case study. There are certainly a lot of behaviours which contradicts Cicero’s principles of a customer led organisation. But let me leave you with one thought this week.
Cicero often gets asked by those seeking the path of enlightenment, why when confronted with examples of appalling ineptitude like that experienced above, must he make a fuss, a very non British trait? The reason, amici, is simple. Cicero works on principle that to accept bad customer service is to condemn the next customer to experience the same
And that is why Cicero will never accept or tolerate or put up with a poor customer experience. And that is why Cicero persists in pointing out to head honchos, their praetorian guard and their foot soldiers, the error of their ways. Remember I do it for you.
Is it just me?
More news from the Royal Institute for Incredibly Stupid People, an organisation devoted to alleviating the suffering of people lacking common sense and to making Britain a safer place for the incredibly stupid.
I went the other day to relieve myself in one of my TSSB’s well appointed toilets. I know this is more information than you might want to know but it is important to provide context. And in this wee room was one of the State’s finest engineers applying some very important news for harassed state employees to all the mirrors. I could just about see myself in the looking glass which was a great relief but only just. For this was indeed very important news and did indeed warrant a large poster to ensure we did not miss the message and to ensure that it made an impact on us.
By this time you will no doubt be breathless with anticipation. What was this very important news that had to be communicated with such dire urgency to your ruling elite? It was…….wait for it…….are you ready for this……an 8 step guide to washing your hands.
Brilliant news. I have been waiting all my life for someone to teach me to wash my hands. And in only 8 steps too.
Is it only me who thinks that this is surely one of the dumbest pieces of communication ever? I find it difficult to believe that there can even be as many as 8 steps to hand washing. Hands up anyone who does not know how to wash their hands, or any other part of their anatomy. Still good to know that the incredibly stupid can now wash their hands properly. That’s a relief to know. I can sleep easy now.
And on that bombshell, have a great week.
Sit Felix. Et sit fortunatus.
Saturday, 8 August 2009
Easy peasy lemon squeezy
Salvete, amici.
I bring you exciting news this week. Amazingly Cicero has learnt something new. Cicero is well and truly confounded, stunned and amazed at this bombshell. And I am sure you are too.
For despite Cicero’s intimacy with his native tongue, it has been pointed out that in the vernacular, Cicero means ‘chick pea’. Now hands up if you knew that.
And on that bombshell of a start, let’s get back to business.
It is an enduring marketing rule of mine that the marketer’s role in any business is to make it is as easy as possible for the customer to do business. And in my book this rule applies whether you are marketing in the private, public or third sector. As you might imagine I am having many interesting debates on this issue at present within my top secret state bunker or TSSB as I have affectionately come to it.
Now what does this mean in reality? For me there are three broad levels at which this applies.
At one level customers have the ability to do business with you at a time and place convenient to them. Be there or be square is always a good principle to apply here. Dependent on your business and whether online or offline, it is always a good idea that your brand can be seen where the customer traffic is or can be easily found in directories, search engines and the like. When was the last time you googled your business or checked its listing in phone books or directories? Go on. Do it now. And report back with the results. Can your customers find you?
It is also a good idea to check when you are open for business and when people can reach you on the phone. Again are you there when your customers want you to be there? If customers want to do business with you on a Sunday afternoon and your call centre is only open Monday-Friday, 9-5, how much good business are you losing? Be there or be square. Do you know when your customers want to get hold of you? Most businesses in the private sector are getting this message, though there are exceptions, but there is still a very long way to go in the public sector where 8-6 is considered radical.
If the first level is about physical accessibility, the second level is about linguistic accessibility. Do your customers know what you are talking about? Cicero has spoken before about the need to talk in a straightforward, adult-adult way, free from jargon and technical speak. And yet too often the copy we produce and send out is filled with a language that is as dense as treacle, in a font size which is illegible for those with ageing eyes and replete with footnotes, caveats and exclusions that look as if we are trying to hide something and all done in a language which talks down to me and treats me as a kid. As a customer talk to me straight, talk to me in English and talk to me as you would any other normal sentient and sapient being. I promise you I can take it.
And so to the third level. And this level is often the domain of the operational folks, reluctant to allow mere marketing mortals into their fiefdom. But boldly go we must if we truly want our businesses and organisations to be easy peasy to deal with.
Do our processes make it easy for the customers to do business with us? Or do we give them an excuse, a reason, an interference, to walk on by or to come us to another time? How easy is it to fill in application forms? What information is required to do with business you? Do you really need all that information? How many times do you need to visit to get the goods or services? How can it be made easier? And so on and so on and so on. Look at what your customer has to do to do business with you from inside their skin with a critical eye and then ruthlessly scythe your way through everything that gets in the way.
Engaging with any business should be easy peasy, lemon squeezy, but too often it is not. And nor will it be easy peasy for us marketing mortals to engineer our businesses to get there. But it is the marketer’s burden to boldly go, or as is more grammatically correct, to go boldly, where others fear to tread and to make every effort, to strain every sinew, and never to rest, until our businesses have been transformed. No one said marketing was easy but doing business with your business must be.
Is it only me?
I recently bought some new white goods to help make my life easier and to give me more time to write my weekly drivel, as one correspondent so unkindly called my words of wisdom last week. Now when buying any kind of white good there is not a lot of variables from which to choose. It is not as if you can have a blue white good, is it? And unlike a car which comes with lots and lots of optional extras, I have not heard of automatic white goods or a diesel white good appliance or even one with in-built sat-nav.
No, it all boils down to price and trying to get the Saturday boy to explain to you why it is worth paying more for one model over another which is always an embarrassing affair. It is not as if white good emporia employ the most technically proficient sales people but they are very good at reading the words off the little card in front of any particular model. Almost as good as me, in fact. In any event price is always justified on basis of reliability and efficiency.
And then comes the punch line. Now it might only be me but I always find it a bit of a giggle when, having spent at least the previous 10 minutes extolling the efficiency and reliability of Japanese or German or French, note, anything but British, manufacturers of white goods equipment, they then try to flog you an insurance policy by pointing out just how inefficient and unreliable such products can be and why warranty insurance is required. The irony is brilliant. And in any event I always rely on the efficiency and reliability sales pitch. It’s cheaper.
By the way, and I know you are interested, all lifts in TSSB been in full working order for 48 hours now. Progress report next week.
Have a great week.
Sit felix. Et sit fortunatus.
Saturday, 1 August 2009
Sock it to me!!!!
I must say I am so glad that I took your advice and turned on the ability to leave feedback and comment on my warm words of wit and wisdom.
And thank you for the comments and feedback. My apologies if these are not appearing as fast as you would like. All comments will be published, if clean and constructive, but I am trying to protect you as well. Be patient.
A few weeks back while attempting to create some space in my private apartments so that I could I fill it up with more junk and bric a brac, I came across a very old pair of rugby socks that I last wore while at school which was a very long time ago. These socks have been with me on my life journey. They have shared my many ups and few downs. They have survived umpteen house moves. And travelled a great distance with me. And they survived too my latest cull of unwanted possessions and belongings.
Now it is unlikely that I am ever going to wear these socks again, and indeed given my passion for self preservation, it is unlikely that my silky skills will ever grace a rugby pitch again. And these socks are not exactly the most attractive apparel in my wardrobe. They are heavy woollen socks in a tasteful brown and gold hooped pattern. So why am I keeping them?
These socks were publicly presented to me at a school assembly in front of my friends and peers when I first played for the school’s first fifteen, the top rugby team in the whole school. And it was a tradition at this alma mater that you got your first first fifteen socks at school assembly.
Sounds quaint now but for a gauche callow lanky acne ridden scholar, and that was just one of my friends, this was a big deal. I had made it. And I had been recognised for what I had achieved in front of my peers and my friends. I felt great. I felt proud. And at that moment I would have run through brick walls for my school, for my team, for my mates.
It was only a pair of socks but these socks meant so much to me. And they still do. And I am willing to bet that in the recesses of your drawers and cupboards you too have something that you treasure for a similar reason. A swimming certificate? Your cycling proficiency certificate? A Blue Peter badge? Or even a Crackerjack pencil? Do let me know if you have something interesting.
I was reminded of these darned socks last week when, in my top secret state bunker with malfunctioning lifts, you know the one, I publicly praised and thanked two people blessed with the opportunity to work with Cicero as he strives to ensure that all can sleep safely in their beds at night. Over the past few weeks these two blessed individuals had done some brilliant work and put in extra special effort. Far more than I could reasonably have expected them to do. Their efforts were amazing and it was the least I could do, and of course it costs me nothing, to notice what they had done and to recognise their efforts in front of their peers and co-workers. And by the way, when exactly did this phrase of American origin creep over to these shores?
So what is the connection between my smelly old socks and state bureaucrats?
We all love to be publicly recognised. We know how good it feels. And whether this is done in a low key low fuss way or through a big drum beating junket, recognition is good. So why do we seem to stop doing it when we get to work? I hear that in some businesses recognition, praise and thank you is as rare these days as a profitable bank or a sensible health and safety manager. Maybe we are shy, we feel awkward, we worry we might look soft. But as leaders we must set aside such thoughts and focus our attention on doing what is right for our people and for our business.
We are all quite simple souls really, though I would, of course, exempt myself from this general description. Praise us for doing a good job and we are far more likely to do it again. If nobody seems to care whether we are doing a good job or not then we’ll probably do just enough to get by. Taking a view that “you’re paid to do this stuff so that should be reward enough” isn’t going to create a team of winners. Nor is it going to create a team who want to put in that extra effort, to go the extra mile, to do more than they are paid to, for you, their team mates, for the business. And remember that to your people, you as their leader are the business. If nobody praises them when they do the “right thing” it shouldn’t be a surprise if they don’t do it as often as we would like
And so this week coming, find the opportunity to publicly recognise someone for a job well done. I can’t promise that your words will endure like my rugby socks but, like the presentation of these socks to me, the impact on discretionary effort will amaze you. Go sock it to them.
Is it only me?
One day last week I was travelling to work in my top secret state bunker and I just happened to read that more than 50,000 new jobs are being ‘created’ using taxpayers money for 18-25 year olds not in a job. Now is not for Cicero to question the ability of any government to create jobs, Tommy Cooper-like, just like that , Cicero is an orator and no economist.
And nor is it for Cicero to seek to score political points off the back of this announcement, for Cicero is strictly apolitical.
However one thing does confuse me about this announcement. It may only be me, but I thought we had age discrimination laws in this country.
Cicero must at this point declare a vested interest. I do not fit comfortably within this age demographic so this might be seen by you as sour grapes from one unable to take advantage of such taxpayer funded generosity. However imagine the furore if any other employer was to recruit on basis of age and that anyone over the age of 25 need not apply.
If my memory serves me correctly, and it usually does, people took up arms in the 17th century because their ruler thought he was above the law. Do our current rulers now think they are above the law too? I think we should be told.
Have a great week.
Sit felix. Et sit fortunatus.
Monday, 27 July 2009
One small step for man
It is good to see you again and I hope you are well.
I have received an objection to my use of the word ‘dribble’ when referring to these fine and intelligent words. It has been pointed out that this conjures up images of old senile people. I do apologise. It is clearly not my intention to conjure up such a powerful connotation. In my defence I would point out that Cicero is an old man as the profile in the column on the right will testify. At the last count Cicero was over 2000 years old. I hope you look this good when you are my age. I may be old but I hope you don’t think I am yet senile. That was of course a rhetorical question.
And moving swiftly on.
You will know that this month is the 40th anniversary of Neil Armstrong’s wee trip to the moon when he and his mate, Buzz, went for a stroll across the Sea of Tranquillity. And so this week I look to space for my inspiration for my dribble. Sorry, it just slipped out.
Having worked across a few marketing businesses, large and small, and not yet been found out, it never ceases to amaze me how frequently marketing people complain that their budgets are never big enough. Do you know what? Your budget will never be enough so get on with it. And this is especially so in these recessionary times.
In the 1960s when man was first thinking about going to the moon, they quickly realised that their pens would not work in space. The Americans brought the finest minds to the work on the problem and threw money at the challenge and after millions of pound of technological investment came up with the finest pen that would work in space. It was a technological marvel. An engineering tour de force. The Russians took a pencil.
This is a very powerful demonstration that it is possible to have too much money and resource which can breed lazy thinking and stifle intellectual creativity.
Have you seen Apollo 13? A great film. And a masterclass in problem solving that every aspiring business man and marketing professional should watch. No amount of money was going to get these guys back to earth. It was all down to their collective brain power and creative thinking. It was only the repeated ability of the team to think creatively and differently that meant the mission was, in Tom Hank’s words, ‘a successful failure’.
So the next time you think you or your business aren’t investing enough in marketing, try to think beyond the norm to find new and different ways to reach and engage with your customers.
Once Cicero was developing a campaign to businesses and wanted to make sure all businesses in a specific area got the message. This had to be done at low cost. TV was certainly out. Press maybe but this would not guarantee that all businesses would get the message and it still was expensive. Direct mail too was not going to be cheap. There was only way to make sure every business got he message at low cost. The solution was to ask the VAT people to enclose some information with their correspondence to businesses. Result. All businesses reached at low cost and website traffic increased.
Similarly the people who brought you Innocent smoothies did not have in the early days big research budgets. Their solution was to have big bins at festivals and the like and customers were asked to give feedback by putting their empties in the appropriate bin. Result. Instant low cost customer feedback and the start of a legend.
And I even know of one company who unable to afford TV or press to advertise their wares pays for students to talk about their brand on tubes and trains and buses in London. They get great reach for the price of a few pints of beer. Brilliant.
Marketing people are supposed to be creative. It is what you got the job in the first place. Try to think your way through and around the problem. Put yourself in the shoes of Tom Hanks and Ed Harris. You know you can do it. The obvious solution is not always the best and is bound to be the most expensive. If you put your mind to it better and more cost effective solutions can be found. And I know that when you crack it, it will be one giant leap for you, your business and for your customers.
Is it only me?
Now I am not naturally a patient man. I am the kind of person who will press lift buttons two or even three times. I am the man who will press the button on the crossings when it is clear to even those with sight impairments that a previous pedestrian has pressed the button and am clearly being told to wait. Why do we do this? Do we really think that the lift is going to come or the lights change any quicker? However has anyone else noticed how long it takes to get a cup of coffee?
When you buy a coffee on the High St these days there is much pushing and pulling of levers and gushing of steam and wiping of dispensers before a small droplet of hot caffeine emerges into your polystyrene cup. It takes ages. And when I am looking for my fix, I want my caffeine hit now. I don’t wait to wait.
And it is not even as if there is any direct correlation between the length of time it takes for the dribble of caffeine to emerge and the quality of the end product. Why it is not possible as in ye olden days for Café Costabucks to have a jug of filter coffee on the go to help speed up the process? I am sure that it is not only me who thinks that all the technological apparatus now employed to make a cup of coffee, the fancy name given to those artisans who dispense our coffee into our polystyrene disposable cup and the length of time it takes, are all designed to convince us that the quality of the end product must be good. It is called marketing.
Have a great week.
Sit felix. Et sit fortunatus.
I have received an objection to my use of the word ‘dribble’ when referring to these fine and intelligent words. It has been pointed out that this conjures up images of old senile people. I do apologise. It is clearly not my intention to conjure up such a powerful connotation. In my defence I would point out that Cicero is an old man as the profile in the column on the right will testify. At the last count Cicero was over 2000 years old. I hope you look this good when you are my age. I may be old but I hope you don’t think I am yet senile. That was of course a rhetorical question.
And moving swiftly on.
You will know that this month is the 40th anniversary of Neil Armstrong’s wee trip to the moon when he and his mate, Buzz, went for a stroll across the Sea of Tranquillity. And so this week I look to space for my inspiration for my dribble. Sorry, it just slipped out.
Having worked across a few marketing businesses, large and small, and not yet been found out, it never ceases to amaze me how frequently marketing people complain that their budgets are never big enough. Do you know what? Your budget will never be enough so get on with it. And this is especially so in these recessionary times.
In the 1960s when man was first thinking about going to the moon, they quickly realised that their pens would not work in space. The Americans brought the finest minds to the work on the problem and threw money at the challenge and after millions of pound of technological investment came up with the finest pen that would work in space. It was a technological marvel. An engineering tour de force. The Russians took a pencil.
This is a very powerful demonstration that it is possible to have too much money and resource which can breed lazy thinking and stifle intellectual creativity.
Have you seen Apollo 13? A great film. And a masterclass in problem solving that every aspiring business man and marketing professional should watch. No amount of money was going to get these guys back to earth. It was all down to their collective brain power and creative thinking. It was only the repeated ability of the team to think creatively and differently that meant the mission was, in Tom Hank’s words, ‘a successful failure’.
So the next time you think you or your business aren’t investing enough in marketing, try to think beyond the norm to find new and different ways to reach and engage with your customers.
Once Cicero was developing a campaign to businesses and wanted to make sure all businesses in a specific area got the message. This had to be done at low cost. TV was certainly out. Press maybe but this would not guarantee that all businesses would get the message and it still was expensive. Direct mail too was not going to be cheap. There was only way to make sure every business got he message at low cost. The solution was to ask the VAT people to enclose some information with their correspondence to businesses. Result. All businesses reached at low cost and website traffic increased.
Similarly the people who brought you Innocent smoothies did not have in the early days big research budgets. Their solution was to have big bins at festivals and the like and customers were asked to give feedback by putting their empties in the appropriate bin. Result. Instant low cost customer feedback and the start of a legend.
And I even know of one company who unable to afford TV or press to advertise their wares pays for students to talk about their brand on tubes and trains and buses in London. They get great reach for the price of a few pints of beer. Brilliant.
Marketing people are supposed to be creative. It is what you got the job in the first place. Try to think your way through and around the problem. Put yourself in the shoes of Tom Hanks and Ed Harris. You know you can do it. The obvious solution is not always the best and is bound to be the most expensive. If you put your mind to it better and more cost effective solutions can be found. And I know that when you crack it, it will be one giant leap for you, your business and for your customers.
Is it only me?
Now I am not naturally a patient man. I am the kind of person who will press lift buttons two or even three times. I am the man who will press the button on the crossings when it is clear to even those with sight impairments that a previous pedestrian has pressed the button and am clearly being told to wait. Why do we do this? Do we really think that the lift is going to come or the lights change any quicker? However has anyone else noticed how long it takes to get a cup of coffee?
When you buy a coffee on the High St these days there is much pushing and pulling of levers and gushing of steam and wiping of dispensers before a small droplet of hot caffeine emerges into your polystyrene cup. It takes ages. And when I am looking for my fix, I want my caffeine hit now. I don’t wait to wait.
And it is not even as if there is any direct correlation between the length of time it takes for the dribble of caffeine to emerge and the quality of the end product. Why it is not possible as in ye olden days for Café Costabucks to have a jug of filter coffee on the go to help speed up the process? I am sure that it is not only me who thinks that all the technological apparatus now employed to make a cup of coffee, the fancy name given to those artisans who dispense our coffee into our polystyrene disposable cup and the length of time it takes, are all designed to convince us that the quality of the end product must be good. It is called marketing.
Have a great week.
Sit felix. Et sit fortunatus.
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