Excuse me, is this seat taken?

Salute.

Now it seems that we are upsetting people by coming across as too political. Ok, let’s see if this works better for you all, regardless of gender, creed or political hue. There is just no pleasing some folks.

In discussion this week with some younger colleagues it became readily apparent that when entering a room to join a meeting, not much attention was being paid to the seating arrangements. How wrong can people be? And when Cicero started to expound on his theories on where to sit, mouths fell agape in shock and awe. And so this week’s words were born.

Remember the marketing maxim, everything communicates.

And even in meetings this maxim holds true. Even the place where you park your gluteus maximus communicates. Now read on to find out how you can improve your communication and influencing skills and learn from a master communicator. They say you should choose your words carefully. The same goes for your seat. Choose your seat with care. It is the road to power and influence in the meeting.

Clearly the leader, whether de jure or de factor, sits at the head of the table and wherever he or she sits, that is the head of the table. But where should everyone else sit? Where should you sit if you are not the leader?

Theory suggests that when a group sits around a table the person sitting on the leader's right will generally be the most loyal and aligned to the leader's thinking and wishes. A (likely) mythical origin is said to be that in Roman times a leader would place their most loyal supporter to their right because this was the most advantageous position from which to attempt an assassination by stabbing (given that most people then as now were right-handed). Assassination at least by stabbing is rare in modern work meetings but you can never be too careful.

In any event those who group around the top of the table whether to the left or right will usually be those who have sited themselves there to support the leader. Is this where you want to sit? Is this how you want to exert influence? Do you want to be seen as a brown nose?

Alternatively the seat directly opposite from the leader can be a great source of alternative power and influence. This is the alter leader space and from this position you can directly maintain eye contact with the leader and those around the table. This is a great place to sit and is usually the chosen position of the backside of yours truly. From here we can agitate, thought provoke and stimulate constructive healthy discussion and debate. This is the seat of the persistent devil’s advocate and end-of-the-table folks are usually the most active participants in the room.

The last place to choose to sit is round the side. From here it can be difficult to exert influence and power. Difficult to engage with those in the room. Tricky to assert your point of view. Avoid with dexterity unless of course you have the force of personality to turn a seat to the side to become the head of the table, the seat of power, the source of influence. It can be done but is down to you.

And one final tip for you-when someone is speaking, and no matter how much they might be droning on and on and on, every now and again nod your head to at least give the impression you are listening intently. The effect of this apparently small gesture will be massive. At a stroke the speaker will engage with you, and he, or she, mindful as we are that women are now a significant factor in leadership positions, will build and maintain eye contact with you, ignoring all other attendees to give you their full and undivided attention. You in their eyes are now the leader in the group and such will be the group dynamic that others too will see you in this position. This trick works every time.

And so, dear friends, we end this week’s lesson. And hopefully you will start to consider that where you park it can be as important as the ideas and questions you bring to the table. And just like educationalists who think they can show that where you sit in class can affect your grades, and in this particular case that might explain a lot, so where you sit in meetings can affect your career.

As we have said before, everything communicates. Even your bum. And no this is not what we mean by the phrase ‘talking out of your backside’. Thought it best to clarify.

Is it only me........

In a serious effort to keep the body toned and fit and now that Cicero has more discretionary time than previously, two to three times a week before work and just as the sun is rising, Cicero will make a visit to his local baths for a swim. This is a great pleasure and recommended to all. This truly is a great way to start the day.

Much to Cicero’s surprise however even at that time of the day he does not have the pool to himself and as he ploughs up and down the water filled lanes he has to take great care to avoid others similarly intent on following a fat reducing, fitness inducing lifestyle. For believe or not even at that time of the day, with the sun barely above the tree tops and the dawn chorus just warming up, a great crowd of swimmers is out and about before they head into their shops, offices and VTTSBs to earn their daily crust.

Or at least most of them are.

For a significant majority of this swimming community have quite clearly no work to head towards, given the amount of wrinkles on their skin and the elastication in their trousers, always a dead give away of age. For these people have retired and as a result have all day to enjoy their leisurely lifestyle. So why, oh why, do they insist on clogging up the water ways, and other civic amenities no doubt, at the same time as wage slaves like Cicero and no doubt you. Unlike superannuated wrinklies, who are no doubt enjoying these facilities at some reduced rate thanks to taxpayer funded largess, salatariat members have few options when they can attend and it irks that capacity is reduced somewhat by people with the time to attend at other times of the day.

Now it might only be me, and it would not be the first time that it was, but surely it is not beyond the wit of highly expensive and obscenely over paid local council quangocrats to put in place a system that restricts usage at peak times to full payers and not those whose presence is subsidised? That way we all might get more enjoyment and space to enjoy our splashing and paddling around.

Have a great week.

Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.