Waiter, waiter

It has been brought to Cicero’s attention that his recent musings have been negative and whining. This has come as a total surprise as Cicero has to date much prided himself on his critically constructive approach to the many follies of the world. Consequently he sends his apologies if he is perceived as failing.

And so today Cicero seeks to defend a practice that others have recently attacked. It is not a big issue but it is not always important to seek to change the big things in life.

You will be aware that it is common practice in many inns, hotels and taverns that breakfast is a do it yourself, self-service kind of affair. For every other meal you are served at the table by a serving wench or serving boy but for breakfast you can often be expected to choose and help yourself although if you are lucky you might be served tea and coffee.

Cicero does not see anything wrong with such a practice.

Others do. And have viciously attacked such customs through their own propaganda organs claiming that while the waiting staff do nothing but stand around and watch that no one runs off with the cutlery, paying guests are expected to go and fetch their own breakfasts.

What is your problem?

You seem to be ignoring the many many advantages in choosing for yourself what you want to eat. Firstly you are totally empowered to ignore the Black Pudding and Kedgeree and any other stuff you don’t like and instead give your undivided attention to those foodstuffs you like. Surely reducing food waste is a good thing. It helps the polar bears. Seemingly.

And this leads to the second advantage in such an approach. You can have as much fatty cholesterol as you like. No one is counting how many sausages, rashers of bacon, croissants and hash browns you load your plate with. Nor is anyone watching how many times you visit the cold meat and cheese platters; the fresh fruit and yoghurt bowls; or the fry up plates.

This is just perfect for a man with a healthy appetite like Cicero. Imagine if you had to pay for breakfast like you do for your other meals. It would be approaching the GDP of a small country.

And of course by making you get up and down it helps shift the avoirdupois that the carb loading puts on.

Quite frankly Cicero would argue that such a system should be rolled out at other mealtimes.

And if you don’t like it, stay at home. This works.

Have a great day.

Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.