No man's land

Is it only me…but whose responsibility is this bit?

Last weekend I headed north and back to the Motherland. Or is it the Fatherland? Now there’s an interesting question, why are some countries Motherlands and others, Fatherlands? Just thought I would ask.

But I digress.

Now it has always been my belief that England and Scotland are contiguous nations, sharing a common border. And I am sure that this thought will be your belief too. Look on any map and lo you will find that Scotland and England are joined at the hip, placed by an accident of geography right slap bang next door to one another and not even independence is going to change that.

And so you can imagine my surprise when heading up the M6 to discover that the English border sign is a good three hundred yards away from that which marks the border with Scotland. In other words there is a strip of land that lies between the two signs that is neither Scottish nor English. To whom does this strip of land belong?

I find this quite intriguing. Don’t you? And if you don’t believe me, next time you drive up the M6 and just before you cross into Scotland squint your neck round and look behind you to see the England Border Post and then look ahead to see where the Scotland Border Crossing is. I would love to know if this strip of no man’s land runs right across the border.

Now I knew that there was a certain amount of antagonism between the tribes to the north and those who have the misfortune to be based to the south of Hadrian’s Wall but I never realised that the state of affairs had grown so serious as to need a buffer zone between them, a kind of de-militarized zone like you find in the Korean peninsula.

Now maybe it’s only me but this throws up all sorts of questions.

If you live there what nationality are you?

Who governs you?

What will happen if and when Scotland rises and becomes a nation again? Are you Scottish or English? Or maybe you are Scotengland?

What would happen if oil is found in this strip? To whom would it belong?

And the biggest question of all, when England are playing Argentina, whom do you support? The answer to this is always a dead giveaway.

Now I am sure that the politicians, constitutional lawyers and even the UN have looked into this and have it covered off, but it is a fascinating question never the less.

Have a great week.

Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.

This land is my land

Is it only me...but I think it’s time to set my people free.

As has been said many times before I originate from north of the Wall of Hadrian and because of this one question has dominated conversation with friends and foes in recent weeks-will I vote for independence?

And so this week I want to set everyone’s mind at rest for once and all and broadcast quite clearly my intent. No doubt this shot will be heard around the world just like the one fired at Lexington that triggered the American War of Independence.

I must point one thing out though- as a long term resident of the land to the south of the Wall of Hadrian I will not have a vote in the forthcoming electoral contest despite being as Scottish as haggis and clootie dumpling. There is a therefore a risk that should my fellow country people vote yes and send the Two Caesars homewards to think again, I face the prospect of being effectively stateless. It also means that my considered thoughts and views on the Scots right to self-determination are hypothetical.

And so to answer the question. And just like Meg Ryan in ‘When Harry met Sally’ my answer has to be ‘yes...Yes...YES!’

Now that might come as a surprise to you that I would advocate that the lands north of the Wall of Hadrian should be set free but why shouldn’t they be if that is what the people really really want and I believe that they should want this.

It is a heart thing and not a head thing though there are no doubt plenty of good reasons why we as a nation can stand alone, after all there are many countries smaller than us and with fewer resources who manage perfectly well to stand on their own two feet.

But more importantly we are a nation with a clear and separate identity and with many of the instruments of nationhood. We have a proud and independent history. We are awash in natural resources. We have a highly educated people despite the best efforts of Westminster to ruin this. We have our own church; our own laws, legal system and approach to jurisprudence; and most importantly a distinctive and idiosyncratic culinary experience.

So why should we not seek independent nationhood?

It might only be me but I do find it a certain irony that the Two Caesars are prepared to send Betty’s grandson, William, and our latest piece of naval hardware, half way round the world to defend the right of the Penguins in the South Atlantic to remain British and to uphold the principle of self-determination, and yet when it comes to the peoples of Scotland while we can have self-determination it will be on London’s terms. Could it be something to do with oil? I wonder.

Or maybe it is all about water given that the Scots are up their oxters in stuff while the pampered English in the south east are squealing about droughts. Maybe they should look at the Horn of Africa to see what a drought really looks like.

It is also worth mentioning that by making it difficult for the Scots to exercise their rights the Two Caesars are coming close to flouting international law. I wonder if they know that article 15 of the UN Declaration of Human Rights guarantees that everyone has the right to a nationality and that no one should be arbitrarily deprived of a nationality or denied the right to change nationality. Do you think I should tell them?

But no matter what I think, I hae ma doobts if we will say aye to the chance to run oor ain affairs.

Have a great week.

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Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.