Our tune

Is it only me...but I thought this was our tune not yours.

Do you remember Simon Bates and ‘Our tune’?

Every day Simon Bates would play some piece of music special to one of his listeners backed by a story which would tear at the heart strings, play with the tear ducts and rip your hair out. It pandered to the worst emotions of the British psyche. I am sure that around the country some folks would be left blubbing around their radios once Simon had spun his daily yarn of pathos and invited all of us to share someone else's emotions and sad moments.

I was reminded of Dear Old Simon while watching the rugby fest at the weekend.

As is the norm, between the players entering the arena and prior to the ball being hoofed skyward to indicate that battle has commenced, the players line up as their National Anthem is played. The Scots warble of the time they sent someone called Edward back home to think again; the Welsh gloriously celebrate the land of their dads; while the Irish not content with one tune have two to croak their way through-one about a soldier and one which is far as I can tell just bellows out the name of their country. And God knows what it is the Italians are singing about.

And have you ever considered this-as individuals most in the crowd will be rank bad singers but collectively the sound is normally wonderfully with perfect pitch and tone. Why is this?

But back to Simon Bates.

As the notes from the song about the Welsh and their dads died away I was most miffed to hear the announcer in the arena that is ‘Twickers’ announce that next up would be the English National Anthem. Sadly this was not a new song but a request for God to give Betty a long and happy life.

Now this might only be me but unless I missed something I thought that this song belonged to all of us who live on this green and sceptered isle and that wee sliver of land that Betty rules over that is badly located on Erin’s isle. It is not England’s National Anthem but our National Anthem.

I know the English have through the centuries got form when it comes to appropriating stuff that doesn’t belong to them-India, a lot of Africa and Scotland for starters. I did think though that, in the words that we Scots sing, ‘these days were past now and in the past they must remain.’

Clearly not.

And so if I may be so bold to make a suggestion to all those living to the south of the Wall of Hadrian and to the east of the Dyke of Offa, get your own song. I’m sure Cliff Richard or Andrew Lloyd Webber or even Adele might be able to knock something off in a spare half hour or so that you could warble to your hearts’ content.

Alternatively you could just set us all free and then you could have Betty and her song all to yourself.

In the meantime stop calling it England’s National Anthem.

Have a great week.

Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.