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Could someone explain to Cicero why some people, usually Distaffs,
have an unhealthy obsession with cosmetic surgery?
He really doesn’t get it.
It is a mystery to a wizened old prune like Cicero why Distaffs
subject themselves voluntarily to needless and pointless surgery, pills, potion
and injections to the point of pain. And they even have to pay good bawbees for
the privilege of being pained, a lot of good bawbees in fact.
It is not as if they are sick. Or are they? Maybe they are
like junkies always needing a fix, the next nip and tuck, the next cosmetic
application.
Cicero has got through the many years of his life by
sticking to his oft quoted maxim that if it can’t be fixed with a comb, it is
not worth bothering about. And yet even with such a minimal beauty treatment he
still manages to appear highly presentable at all times.
Cicero has heard tell of one so-called ‘Human Barbie’
reputed to have spent in excess of £250 000 over hundreds of nips and tucks and
injections and augmentations so that she might look good. Why?
It has been said that some require these superficial and artificial
crutches to remedy and address self-esteem issues. Really? It would be much
cheaper and far less painful to buy and read a book. Broaden the mind not the bust
seems to Cicero to be a much better strategy to improving self-esteem.
And in this regard he would recommend anything by his mates Livy,
Ovid and Demosthenes but suggests you avoid Catullus. Of course anything by
Cicero himself would be might fine. They can of course be ordered on that
modern day invention called Amazon.
Cicero has found through many centuries that books are a far more satisfying, less painful and not as costly way to plug self-esteem gaps.
And maybe learned readers of these fine words might care to
identify other ways to improve self-esteem. Answers below, please.
Distaffs, you are fine as you are. Stop treating your bodies
as a building requiring constant renovation and repair.
In the meantime have a great day.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
