Time for a wee wee

You might not know this but Cicero has a soft spot for the tribes who hail from beyond the Wall of Hadrian, otherwise known as the Scots. These are a peaceful people of great ingenuity who have invented just about everything that is useful in today’s world. 

But did you know that this special race of super-heroes had mastered the rules and laws of time?

Now you might have thought that people like Einstein had proven that the laws of time were immutable and in these laws a minute consists of 60 seconds, an hour consists of 60 minutes, and so on and so forth.

Not to the Scots.

A day or so back Cicero had reason to use the telephony instrument (a Scots invention) to speak with someone from beyond the Wall of Hadrian. For reasons that cannot be remembered or are even germane to the story, Cicero was asked ‘if it was ok to hold on for a wee minute’ and was later advised ‘that this would take a wee second’.

And this is language and a terminology that is often used by those who reside there. Next time you are speaking with someone there and the conversation turns to horological issues, listen out for evidence that these people have the ability to manipulate time.

For what is a ‘wee second’? What is a ‘wee minute’? And are there still 60 wee seconds in a wee minute?

Surely a second is a second, a minute is a minute. As units of time they are constant, immutable and absolute. No one can manipulate time apart from Dr Who and Capt. James T Kirk. So how come a nation, and yes they are a nation, have developed the power to manipulate time? Why are they not telling anyone else? What else have they done that they are not telling us about?

And if anyone can explain how long is a wee second and how much shorter a wee minute is to the minute everyone else uses, could they please pass on.

Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.