Sorry for absence from these pages last week-leaves on the line and all that. Did you even notice that Cicero was not here?
This week, as trailled when we were last together, we are going to continue to discuss the role of social media in effective brand building. Now you will know from previous discussions that Cicero is not a big fan of sequels but in this case we are hoping to produce another Toy Story 2 and not a Jaws 2 or even 3.
You will recall that when we last came together on these pages we discussed whether or not your brand was suited to appearing on Facebook or Twitter and we argued that only those brands with characteristics that lent themselves to being talked about should seek to acquire Twitter followers and Facebook friends. And given the number of brands out there trying to use social media but who are there in name only and just about clinging on, it would seem that that there are many brands using social media only because it is the latest bandwagon rather than really truly understanding how to use these new platforms for real marketing benefit.
But even if you have agreed that your brand fits the criteria of a talked about brand, please ask yourself these questions before jumping on the bandwagon. You can be assured that failure to ask and answer these questions can have serious consequences for your brand-at best you will look like you have no friends, a real Billy No Mate of a brand, but at worse those who are following you will be stabbing you in the back. Do you really want that?
And so the first question to ask, are you willing to engage in a public dialogue with your friends and followers? Think about it-up to now your communications with customers and prospects has been monologue but these new channels are designed to allow dialogue. This can be troubling for some.
A while back reporters on the Washington Post, the journal that gave a new word to the English language, ‘Watergate’, were banned from using Twitter accounts (personal or Post branded) to speak on behalf of the company, on this basis:
‘......when we write a story, our readers are free to respond and we provide them a venue to do so...... but once we enter a debate personally through social media, this would be equivalent to allowing a reader to write a letter to the editor–and then publishing a rebuttal by the reporter. It’s something we don’t do.’
And so we have an organisation, a great brand to boot, more than happy to embrace social media to promote content, but not so much when it comes to engaging and using the medium as intended. In other words they were using a dialogue medium with a monologue mindset.
Is your business like that? What kind of mindset do you have in your business?
Secondly, is your business geared up to engage in dialogue in real time? You might have the will to do so but do you have the capability? Too often there are businesses out there who either do not want to deal with customers by e-mail or when they do, promise to reply with something like 5 working days. You cannot do this with social media. You need to dedicate resources, and empowered resources at that, to monitor what is being said to you and about you, and to be able to respond in real time.
And thirdly, can you produce enough interesting, engaging and relevant content to keep your twitterati followers and friends satisfied? These media are content hungry and if you want your brand to offer something of value to customers and prospects alike, you need to be able to provide a constant stream of content. Go on Facebook or even visit some company websites and see when last updated. Out of date or non current material highlights that you don’t care. It’s like a shop with a broken light bulb.
Yes social media can be a great force for good for brand and can demonstrate modernity, trust and a willingness to engage but if you are going to put yourself on Facebook or Twitter, please get it right. Get it wrong and your brand will end up damaged. And there is no greater crime.
Is it only me..........but I doubt Nelson would have turned a blind eye to this.
Last week it was reported that a Navy medic had been court-martialled because he did not want to carry a gun and learn how to shoot it on ‘moral grounds’. I think he must have got his application forms mixed up and he thought he was joining the Boy Scouts rather than the Royal Navy.
What did he think was going to happen when he joined the Royal Navy? Maybe he just didn’t realise that the ships of Drake, Raleigh and Nelson were part of our Armed Forces. Look closely and you will see the word ‘Armed’, Mr Jack Tar. Is that not a bit of a hint to you? Or did you just think that it was for people with arms? And what did you think the great big metal tubes stuck onto that big grey boat where you slung your hammock, were for? Balance.
Now I can accept that you might not want to fight on ‘moral grounds’ and I take my hat off to anyone who refuses to fight for king and country on moral grounds but what you don’t do, if those are your sincerely held views, is join one of our Armed Forces. (There we go again, it is so obvious you can’t help mentioning it.)
Presumably if you take this stance and join an institution like the Royal Navy you don’t think it immoral for someone else to carry arms to cover your backside. And when we say arms here we mean the kind that can shoot ordnance over vast distances. Not the kind that contain fingers.
Now maybe it’s just me but when the likes of Drake, Raleigh, Nelson and Perry signed up, they did so in the full knowledge that at some point they might be required to fight. Indeed, for some of the aforementioned, fighting Johnny Foreigner was exactly why they signed up. It is surely not too much to ask that today’s successors to the aforementioned make at least some attempt to follow their lead.
As a taxpayer I pay for 24x7 armed guard security coverage so that I can go to my bed knowing that when I wake up this will still be a green and pleasant land where we, Britons, will never ever be slaves. I don’t want those providing the levels of security I pay for being able to pick and choose which enemy they are going to fight or even if they will turn up for duty looking armed and dangerous. You joined up, deal with it or quit and join the RAC.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
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Friday, 22 July 2011
Friday, 8 July 2011
Twittering on
It seems that last weeks’ musings almost got too much for one devoted reader. Difficult to believe that Cicero’s words of wit and wisdom might have brought a tear to someone’s eyes. Another first for Cicero though it was probably grit.
It is unlikely that this week’s thoughts will provoke a similar emotional response but we will see.
In today’s world it seems that every business and every brand has or wants its own Facebook site, its own Twitter account, and almost on a daily basis Cicero is asked his thoughts on the relevance of these new media applications. This is of course rather strange given the generation to which Cicero belongs but I suppose it is a testament to the marketing genius of the Man that his advice is sought on a wide manner of marketing issues.
But should all brands have a Facebook site and tweet?
Now on the one hand Cicero would advise that for brands to be seen as modern and up to date being au fait with today’s manner of communications would help signify this. And it could be argued, as some have done, that by not employing these customer communication and engagement tools your brand might somehow be seen as untrustworthy and unwilling to talk directly to its customers.
But before we all get carried away and jump on this particular bandwagon Cicero would advise more considered thought. After all getting it wrong could be even more brand damaging.
It is clear from a cursory view of the social media horizon that some brands are better at brand building through social media than others, if the number of Facebook Friends and Twitter Followers some brands have is anything to go by and the level of engagement these Friends and Followers have with the brand.
But Cicero would contend that those brands which are successful on these media are those which offer extraordinary functional benefits, or where the brand offers fabulous social benefit such as charities or a cause, or where the brand is a powerful expression of self. In other words me too brands are unlikely to cut it and maybe only brands whose offering is truly innovative and differentiated should think about using social media to leverage innovative and differentiation.
To better understand this, walk down your High St and consider the brands on offer there, assuming of course they have not yet shut down. How many of these would you like to follow on Facebook or Twitter? How many of these would you like to engage in conversation with?
When Cicero was a young pup and long before anyone had even thought of something like Twitter, a very clever man identified four reasons for people to talk about brands. The first is because of product-involvement: the experience is so novel and pleasurable that it must be shared. The second is self-involvement: sharing knowledge or opinions is a way to gain attention, show connoisseurship, feel like a pioneer, have inside information, seek confirmation of a person's own judgment, or assert superiority. The third is other-involvement: the speaker wants to reach out and help to express neighbourliness, caring, and friendship. The fourth is message-involvement:the message is so humorous or informative that it deserves sharing.
Now these findings may come from a different era but Cicero fancies they might still apply to today’s brands.
And so before you start to twitter on, do you really know what kind of brand you might have? Does your brand fill any of the criteria above?
And next week Cicero will consider what your brand must do to make your twittering on effective. Don’t miss it.
Is it only me...............but why can’t people leave well alone.
Last week I bought a new mobile phone. My old one had been dropped on its head too many times and for reasons that no one could explain, some chip or other had got busted so that when the phone was in use, I could no longer hear the party at the other end of the call. And let me tell you that is a huge disadvantage in a phone given that it makes two way conversations a tad difficult.
And so I went looking for a new phone.
My requirements are simple-I want a phone to make and receive calls and I want a phone through which I might send the occasional text that friends and acquaintances might know that I am still alive. I do not want a camera, I do not want it to play music, I do not want to watch my favourite TV programmes on it and nor do I want it make me a cup of tea in the morning.
Do you know how difficult it is to find a phone that it is just a phone?
And then when you do find a phone that seems to meet even the most basic of requirements and you get it home and take it from the box, to use the instrument you have to learn a whole new language as the Graphical User Interface, or GUI for short (I can tell you impressed by that one) has changed out of all recognition in the name of ‘progress’. So far I have missed 5 calls because I can’t find the answer button.
Now this might only be me but why can’t technological companies leave well alone. Not all of us are digital natives, many of us of a certain age, and there are a lot of us out there as the pension and welfare industry are about to find out, are immigrants to this world.
Our needs are simple, basic and straightforward. We want a phone that is a phone. End of. And we want the buttons, GUIs and layout standardised. Life is too short for us to waste it learning new languages every time we buy a new phone. Hope you are all listening. Or should I send a text.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
It is unlikely that this week’s thoughts will provoke a similar emotional response but we will see.
In today’s world it seems that every business and every brand has or wants its own Facebook site, its own Twitter account, and almost on a daily basis Cicero is asked his thoughts on the relevance of these new media applications. This is of course rather strange given the generation to which Cicero belongs but I suppose it is a testament to the marketing genius of the Man that his advice is sought on a wide manner of marketing issues.
But should all brands have a Facebook site and tweet?
Now on the one hand Cicero would advise that for brands to be seen as modern and up to date being au fait with today’s manner of communications would help signify this. And it could be argued, as some have done, that by not employing these customer communication and engagement tools your brand might somehow be seen as untrustworthy and unwilling to talk directly to its customers.
But before we all get carried away and jump on this particular bandwagon Cicero would advise more considered thought. After all getting it wrong could be even more brand damaging.
It is clear from a cursory view of the social media horizon that some brands are better at brand building through social media than others, if the number of Facebook Friends and Twitter Followers some brands have is anything to go by and the level of engagement these Friends and Followers have with the brand.
But Cicero would contend that those brands which are successful on these media are those which offer extraordinary functional benefits, or where the brand offers fabulous social benefit such as charities or a cause, or where the brand is a powerful expression of self. In other words me too brands are unlikely to cut it and maybe only brands whose offering is truly innovative and differentiated should think about using social media to leverage innovative and differentiation.
To better understand this, walk down your High St and consider the brands on offer there, assuming of course they have not yet shut down. How many of these would you like to follow on Facebook or Twitter? How many of these would you like to engage in conversation with?
When Cicero was a young pup and long before anyone had even thought of something like Twitter, a very clever man identified four reasons for people to talk about brands. The first is because of product-involvement: the experience is so novel and pleasurable that it must be shared. The second is self-involvement: sharing knowledge or opinions is a way to gain attention, show connoisseurship, feel like a pioneer, have inside information, seek confirmation of a person's own judgment, or assert superiority. The third is other-involvement: the speaker wants to reach out and help to express neighbourliness, caring, and friendship. The fourth is message-involvement:the message is so humorous or informative that it deserves sharing.
Now these findings may come from a different era but Cicero fancies they might still apply to today’s brands.
And so before you start to twitter on, do you really know what kind of brand you might have? Does your brand fill any of the criteria above?
And next week Cicero will consider what your brand must do to make your twittering on effective. Don’t miss it.
Is it only me...............but why can’t people leave well alone.
Last week I bought a new mobile phone. My old one had been dropped on its head too many times and for reasons that no one could explain, some chip or other had got busted so that when the phone was in use, I could no longer hear the party at the other end of the call. And let me tell you that is a huge disadvantage in a phone given that it makes two way conversations a tad difficult.
And so I went looking for a new phone.
My requirements are simple-I want a phone to make and receive calls and I want a phone through which I might send the occasional text that friends and acquaintances might know that I am still alive. I do not want a camera, I do not want it to play music, I do not want to watch my favourite TV programmes on it and nor do I want it make me a cup of tea in the morning.
Do you know how difficult it is to find a phone that it is just a phone?
And then when you do find a phone that seems to meet even the most basic of requirements and you get it home and take it from the box, to use the instrument you have to learn a whole new language as the Graphical User Interface, or GUI for short (I can tell you impressed by that one) has changed out of all recognition in the name of ‘progress’. So far I have missed 5 calls because I can’t find the answer button.
Now this might only be me but why can’t technological companies leave well alone. Not all of us are digital natives, many of us of a certain age, and there are a lot of us out there as the pension and welfare industry are about to find out, are immigrants to this world.
Our needs are simple, basic and straightforward. We want a phone that is a phone. End of. And we want the buttons, GUIs and layout standardised. Life is too short for us to waste it learning new languages every time we buy a new phone. Hope you are all listening. Or should I send a text.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
Friday, 1 July 2011
The hills are alive
Cicero feels that he must take up a few words to respond to the comment last week from Anonymous.
Firstly you will surely agree that Cicero does not ‘ramble’ on the NHS or on any other topic. We like to think that Cicero with forensic precision picks apart the nonsenses of today’s world.
And secondly he does not understand why Anonymous thinks that Cicero will ‘stew and no doubt get quite argumentative’ over the revelation that one hospital Trust is to partner with John Lewis to deliver customer service training and marketing skills. Indeed Cicero applauds the realisation that the hospital requires customer service skills and that John Lewis, a fine brand, is to be the chosen partner.
Cicero does however question the waste of public funds on marketing skills. Given that the NHS is a bloated and inefficient monopoly, to whom does it feel it needs to market itself? If Cicero could make one suggestion-focus on investing in the quality of the product and that includes reducing waiting times, and you will not need a brochure or an ad to market yourself. No doubt you have a Marketing Director and all the cost that entails. Why?
Now Cicero is getting stewed up and argumentative. Time for a lie down and change of subject.
A few weeks back Cicero had the pleasure of walking up some of the finest hills in Wales for the weekend with some of the nicest guys you could ever hope to meet. We added the last bit lest any of them might be joining us here for the week.
It was a miserable trek, even though the company was splendiferous. The weather was wet and windy and the hills steep. It was not long before Cicero’s merry band was damp and water logged but with great determination they resolved to get to the top. And they did. It was a triumph of mind over matter and of ignoring the discomfort, the dampness, the wind, the cold, the shortness of breath, the tightening of muscle, the straining of sinew...............
Now Cicero, as many of you will know, is not the fittest lion in the pack but what he lacks in fitness he more than makes up in intelligence and leadership. On this occasion he was surpassed and in the process he learnt a vital lesson in leadership which maximised the efficiency and effectiveness of the team and ensured that all hit the top of the mountain together.
Please don’t get the impression that Cicero was scaling Everest or K2 or even a mount of the calibre of a Ben Nevis but it was still a steep mound that had to be scaled.
And as we neared the summit with about 300 metres to go and with the wind resistance increasing as the gradient steepened, some of the party were beginning to find the going tough and breaths were getting shorter and shorter. This was the point leadership took over. And the solution was simple.
Without discussion, a meeting or a agreement, The Wee Man took over and organised the party telling them that he would go ahead for 50 metres and when he stopped the next man would follow up the hill and so on and so on until we had all got to the same point when the process would be repeated for the next 50 metres. In this way the team made progress and all got a suitable rest and recovery period to catch breaths. And so as a result of this inspired leadership, the team reached the top.
And this is this week’s learning.
If we all work as a team we can all complete the task in hand, even the weakest members of the team can play their part. It is not that you go at the pace of the slowest but you organise the resources around you in such a way that the weaker members of the team can play their part and make a contribution. All it requires is someone to step up to the plate, like The Wee Man, and to organise solutions that will get everyone there.
And when that happens, all in the team can get to enjoy the view.
Is it only me.....but what’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.
Over the course of the past week we have had the unedifying spectacle of the Two Caesars trying to appease public sector workers before they went on strike. I am glad they failed to avert the walk outs.
And in passing I wish the media would stop characterising the dispute as between the government and the unions-it is between the taxpayer and the unions for in my book the government is merely the representative of the taxpayer in this instance.
And before I get deluged with whines from Apparatchiks pointing out that they too are taxpayers might they be reminded that they pay their taxes from taxes paid by the rest of the taxpaying community. All they are doing is re-cycling the cash.
Now as I understand it the reason the unions have decided to take on the taxpayers is because they resent having to pay more for their pensions, they do not want to work longer before they get their pension and for reasons that escape me they want us, the taxpayer, to continue to underwrite their pension liabilities so they can enjoy a comfortable retirement.
Really? It’s time for them all to wake up and smell the coffee.
No it might only be me but surely what is sauce for the goose is also sauce for the gander and it is time for the Apparatchiks and their union bosses to realise that those of us struggling every day to create value to generate taxes to fund their lifestyles, realised years ago that we would have to pay more for our pensions, work longer and retire with less. It’s to do with demographics, our longevity and falling stock market returns in a low interest rate environment as much as the need to save money.
Maybe an Apparatchik or two out there might like to explain why the rest of us should be paying for someone else to get a better standard of retirement living than we can get.
Let them strike, I say. There is no negotiation to be had with this taxpayer. It’s now time for the Apparatchiks and their union bosses to get real and to join the world the rest of us have been in for a while now.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
Firstly you will surely agree that Cicero does not ‘ramble’ on the NHS or on any other topic. We like to think that Cicero with forensic precision picks apart the nonsenses of today’s world.
And secondly he does not understand why Anonymous thinks that Cicero will ‘stew and no doubt get quite argumentative’ over the revelation that one hospital Trust is to partner with John Lewis to deliver customer service training and marketing skills. Indeed Cicero applauds the realisation that the hospital requires customer service skills and that John Lewis, a fine brand, is to be the chosen partner.
Cicero does however question the waste of public funds on marketing skills. Given that the NHS is a bloated and inefficient monopoly, to whom does it feel it needs to market itself? If Cicero could make one suggestion-focus on investing in the quality of the product and that includes reducing waiting times, and you will not need a brochure or an ad to market yourself. No doubt you have a Marketing Director and all the cost that entails. Why?
Now Cicero is getting stewed up and argumentative. Time for a lie down and change of subject.
A few weeks back Cicero had the pleasure of walking up some of the finest hills in Wales for the weekend with some of the nicest guys you could ever hope to meet. We added the last bit lest any of them might be joining us here for the week.
It was a miserable trek, even though the company was splendiferous. The weather was wet and windy and the hills steep. It was not long before Cicero’s merry band was damp and water logged but with great determination they resolved to get to the top. And they did. It was a triumph of mind over matter and of ignoring the discomfort, the dampness, the wind, the cold, the shortness of breath, the tightening of muscle, the straining of sinew...............
Now Cicero, as many of you will know, is not the fittest lion in the pack but what he lacks in fitness he more than makes up in intelligence and leadership. On this occasion he was surpassed and in the process he learnt a vital lesson in leadership which maximised the efficiency and effectiveness of the team and ensured that all hit the top of the mountain together.
Please don’t get the impression that Cicero was scaling Everest or K2 or even a mount of the calibre of a Ben Nevis but it was still a steep mound that had to be scaled.
And as we neared the summit with about 300 metres to go and with the wind resistance increasing as the gradient steepened, some of the party were beginning to find the going tough and breaths were getting shorter and shorter. This was the point leadership took over. And the solution was simple.
Without discussion, a meeting or a agreement, The Wee Man took over and organised the party telling them that he would go ahead for 50 metres and when he stopped the next man would follow up the hill and so on and so on until we had all got to the same point when the process would be repeated for the next 50 metres. In this way the team made progress and all got a suitable rest and recovery period to catch breaths. And so as a result of this inspired leadership, the team reached the top.
And this is this week’s learning.
If we all work as a team we can all complete the task in hand, even the weakest members of the team can play their part. It is not that you go at the pace of the slowest but you organise the resources around you in such a way that the weaker members of the team can play their part and make a contribution. All it requires is someone to step up to the plate, like The Wee Man, and to organise solutions that will get everyone there.
And when that happens, all in the team can get to enjoy the view.
Is it only me.....but what’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.
Over the course of the past week we have had the unedifying spectacle of the Two Caesars trying to appease public sector workers before they went on strike. I am glad they failed to avert the walk outs.
And in passing I wish the media would stop characterising the dispute as between the government and the unions-it is between the taxpayer and the unions for in my book the government is merely the representative of the taxpayer in this instance.
And before I get deluged with whines from Apparatchiks pointing out that they too are taxpayers might they be reminded that they pay their taxes from taxes paid by the rest of the taxpaying community. All they are doing is re-cycling the cash.
Now as I understand it the reason the unions have decided to take on the taxpayers is because they resent having to pay more for their pensions, they do not want to work longer before they get their pension and for reasons that escape me they want us, the taxpayer, to continue to underwrite their pension liabilities so they can enjoy a comfortable retirement.
Really? It’s time for them all to wake up and smell the coffee.
No it might only be me but surely what is sauce for the goose is also sauce for the gander and it is time for the Apparatchiks and their union bosses to realise that those of us struggling every day to create value to generate taxes to fund their lifestyles, realised years ago that we would have to pay more for our pensions, work longer and retire with less. It’s to do with demographics, our longevity and falling stock market returns in a low interest rate environment as much as the need to save money.
Maybe an Apparatchik or two out there might like to explain why the rest of us should be paying for someone else to get a better standard of retirement living than we can get.
Let them strike, I say. There is no negotiation to be had with this taxpayer. It’s now time for the Apparatchiks and their union bosses to get real and to join the world the rest of us have been in for a while now.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
Friday, 24 June 2011
Monkey business
In case you were wondering the road is now mended and being used as a road once again. And in record time too. Maybe someone of influence and import has been reading these words and took the hint that Japanese Navvies whould be employed to replace those from this scept’red isle.
Now the 6 words that Cicero never ever wants anyone to hear are ‘that’s just the way it is’.
Firstly that is an excuse for an intelligent explanation as to why things are. And secondly it is just the way it is because that is how we let it be. It is not a law of nature that some things cannot be changed if it is in the interests of good customer service or a more effective and efficient business.
But Cicero constantly hears this refrain from colleagues unwilling or unable to question and change the way things are done; from front line operatives in businesses Cicero graces with his custom who are too indolent or disempowered to do anything about it; from other citizens who accept shoddy service because...well just because that is the way it is.
Cicero screams at this passivity, apathy, acceptance.
Last week Cicero met a truly amazing man. And if you are of a certain age you too will know of him because for a while he hit and remained in the news headlines. The tale he told was not about him however and so for the purposes of these words of wit and wisdom, he will remain in the background.
He told me the story of five monkeys which might help explain why that is just the way it is.
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. You will also need a banana, a hosepipe and a substantial supply of very cold water. Place half the monkeys in the cage, along with the banana, but make sure the banana requires some effort for the monkeys to obtain.
Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and at the top of a pole. Before long, a monkey will go to the pole and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the pole, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result: all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the pole, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the pole. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the pole, he will be assaulted. Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the pole and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the pole, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the pole or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.
After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the pole to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.
If you always do what you’ve always done: you’ll always get what you’ve always got! New uncertainties require new solutions and sometimes we have to unlearn as well as learn to find new solutions. And that is monkey business!
Is it only me....but this is truly hair raising.
Sometimes I see, read or hear stuff in the media that makes me really despair for the future of this country and to scream out ‘NO! I DONT BELIEVE IT’. For no matter what those of us who are right minded try to do there is always some influential Guardianista-type acting as a common sense preventer.
So what is this week’s the-world’s-gone-mad incident?
Now we all know that the schools are in this country are a mess. With their increasing emphasis as a tool for social engineering and for ensuring that we dumb down to ensure that the lazy, the thick and the couldn’t-care-less are given the same opportunities as those who are bright, interested and engaged, it is no wonder that we are failing to turn out kids who can read, write, add up and know their Latin.
In the same week as the Two Caesars together with their little helpers talk about raising standards and addressing the problems of failing schools at primary and secondary level, their efforts and those of the good teachers who day in, day out seek to inspire their charges, are undermined by Guardianista-made law as interpreted by Guardianista-judges.
As all good schools and right thinking parents know, good discipline underpins a good education which is why those put in charge of failing schools know that enforcing good discipline and uniform codes is a must.
And yet what happen when a school tries to enforce its code on hair styles, and in particular the use of corn braiding which is said to be associated with gang culture, and when its headmaster insists on "a traditional schoolboy haircut"? It runs foul of some Guardianista attitude.
Firstly the family claim it's part of his cultural identity and then incredulously this attitude is supported by the courts who deem the policy racist.
We should all give up now.
Now it might only be me but if we are going to give headmasters and our teachers accountability and responsibility for improving the educational welfare of our kids, and boy is this needed, then all branches of society must support and back them. Even the Guardian. A ‘traditional schoolboy hair cut’ never did me any harm.
Have a great week
Et sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
Now the 6 words that Cicero never ever wants anyone to hear are ‘that’s just the way it is’.
Firstly that is an excuse for an intelligent explanation as to why things are. And secondly it is just the way it is because that is how we let it be. It is not a law of nature that some things cannot be changed if it is in the interests of good customer service or a more effective and efficient business.
But Cicero constantly hears this refrain from colleagues unwilling or unable to question and change the way things are done; from front line operatives in businesses Cicero graces with his custom who are too indolent or disempowered to do anything about it; from other citizens who accept shoddy service because...well just because that is the way it is.
Cicero screams at this passivity, apathy, acceptance.
Last week Cicero met a truly amazing man. And if you are of a certain age you too will know of him because for a while he hit and remained in the news headlines. The tale he told was not about him however and so for the purposes of these words of wit and wisdom, he will remain in the background.
He told me the story of five monkeys which might help explain why that is just the way it is.
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. You will also need a banana, a hosepipe and a substantial supply of very cold water. Place half the monkeys in the cage, along with the banana, but make sure the banana requires some effort for the monkeys to obtain.
Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and at the top of a pole. Before long, a monkey will go to the pole and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the pole, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result: all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the pole, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the pole. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the pole, he will be assaulted. Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the pole and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the pole, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the pole or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.
After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the pole to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.
If you always do what you’ve always done: you’ll always get what you’ve always got! New uncertainties require new solutions and sometimes we have to unlearn as well as learn to find new solutions. And that is monkey business!
Is it only me....but this is truly hair raising.
Sometimes I see, read or hear stuff in the media that makes me really despair for the future of this country and to scream out ‘NO! I DONT BELIEVE IT’. For no matter what those of us who are right minded try to do there is always some influential Guardianista-type acting as a common sense preventer.
So what is this week’s the-world’s-gone-mad incident?
Now we all know that the schools are in this country are a mess. With their increasing emphasis as a tool for social engineering and for ensuring that we dumb down to ensure that the lazy, the thick and the couldn’t-care-less are given the same opportunities as those who are bright, interested and engaged, it is no wonder that we are failing to turn out kids who can read, write, add up and know their Latin.
In the same week as the Two Caesars together with their little helpers talk about raising standards and addressing the problems of failing schools at primary and secondary level, their efforts and those of the good teachers who day in, day out seek to inspire their charges, are undermined by Guardianista-made law as interpreted by Guardianista-judges.
As all good schools and right thinking parents know, good discipline underpins a good education which is why those put in charge of failing schools know that enforcing good discipline and uniform codes is a must.
And yet what happen when a school tries to enforce its code on hair styles, and in particular the use of corn braiding which is said to be associated with gang culture, and when its headmaster insists on "a traditional schoolboy haircut"? It runs foul of some Guardianista attitude.
Firstly the family claim it's part of his cultural identity and then incredulously this attitude is supported by the courts who deem the policy racist.
We should all give up now.
Now it might only be me but if we are going to give headmasters and our teachers accountability and responsibility for improving the educational welfare of our kids, and boy is this needed, then all branches of society must support and back them. Even the Guardian. A ‘traditional schoolboy hair cut’ never did me any harm.
Have a great week
Et sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
Friday, 17 June 2011
A geology lesson
Do you think Cicero should start to tweet? Thought it might help keep you in touch with his musings and with each other. What do you think?
As pointed out here a few weeks back when telling you about the tear in our local road, it is a source of constant amazement how long it takes us to get things done in this green and pleasant land, especially when anyone connected to the State is involved. But fair's fair, even though the Japanese would have built a high speed railway in time taken to repair this tear, our road has at last been sutured. Well done to all concerned.
Only one teensy weensy problem now-flushed with the success of repairing one one hundred yard stretch of tarmac, our Navvies have now moved up the road a wee bit and are now repeating their exercise of painfully slow inactivity. We are now promised another 6 weeks of traffic disruption. Are there no Japanese Navvies going spare?
We will keep you posted on this, in event you might be interested.
Well it would seem that Cicero’s comment last week that family and health more important than work caused a wee storm. Really don’t understand why that might be.
One colleague approached Cicero during the course of the past few days puzzled that he had allowed his Acolyte to leave his post so easily.
‘Let me tell you a story, my dear, ‘said Cicero (for colleague was a Distaff), ‘that was once told me that might help explain better.
‘One day a philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large jar and proceeded to fill it with some rocks, about 2" in diameter.
‘He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
‘So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.
‘He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
‘The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
‘He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "Yes."’
‘"Now," said the professor, "Think that the jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children -- things that if everything else were lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter - like your job, your house, your car...The sand is everything else. The small stuff.”
“If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued "there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your partner out for a meal. There will always be time to go to work and do all the other stuff.’’
‘Now’, said Cicero to his Distaff colleague, ‘do you understand why I said what I said and did what I did? In my book it is imperative that you take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
‘I get it’, said Cicero’s colleague, ‘wandering off to sort out the rocks and pebbles in her life’.
Now you might think that that is where the story ends. You would be wrong. For there is another, and equally helpful way to look at the rocks, pebbles and sand.
From time to time many of us will have a problem with prioritisation, not just of things personal but also in our work.
Now see the rocks as representing our most important activities in our in tray, the pebbles our less meaningful activities and the sand just the chaff.
Most of us focus our attention on the small things in life, the sand and pebbles. But if you fill up the jar with the pebbles and the sand there is no room for the rocks, those tasks that really matter, the tasks that will really drive our businesses forward.
To get the most of our time in the office the lessons are clear-put the big rocks into the empty jar first and then the pebbles and finally the sand and all three materials fit inside the jar. It is the only way it works.
You can learn so much from geology these days.
Is it only me.............but this doesn’t add up.
The other day I was in a well known High St Emporium buying some treats. The kid manning the till did as all kids in these places do-she swiped my treats to calculate how much I owed her. The bill came to £6.14. I can be very abstemious when buying treats.
It was my mistake. I handed over £10 and in an instant the machine the kid was operating had calculated the change.
But not wanting my pockets bulging with all sorts of coppers and other small bawbees thereby ruining the line of my toga and to make things easier for the kid, I handed over an additional 14p so that she might just return me four shiny bronze coins.
It was like I had asked the kid to calculate pi to 29 decimal places.
I kid ye not but the kid did not have the brain cells to calculate in her head how much she now owed me. ‘I have it rung up now’ was the answer and no amount of patient reasoning would encourage the kid to forsake the machine and to calculate the change for herself.
Now it might only be me but just what are they teaching children in today’s schools?
Clearly it is not the basics of addition, subtraction, multiplication and division without the aid of a calculator. It is staggering that we are sending kids out into the world of work when their brains cannot fend for themselves without electronic aids. And these are the ones in work, God knows what the ones not in work are not capable of doing.
Might I suggest that if our education establishments are so incapable of teaching our kids to calculate change correctly, and it is shocking that they are not taught to do this, that our retailers give them some basic lessons in arithmetic. Taxi drivers have to pass ‘The Knowledge’ so why can’t our in-store kids be made to do something similar before they get to serve the Public.
Just a thought but it seems to me to add up.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
As pointed out here a few weeks back when telling you about the tear in our local road, it is a source of constant amazement how long it takes us to get things done in this green and pleasant land, especially when anyone connected to the State is involved. But fair's fair, even though the Japanese would have built a high speed railway in time taken to repair this tear, our road has at last been sutured. Well done to all concerned.
Only one teensy weensy problem now-flushed with the success of repairing one one hundred yard stretch of tarmac, our Navvies have now moved up the road a wee bit and are now repeating their exercise of painfully slow inactivity. We are now promised another 6 weeks of traffic disruption. Are there no Japanese Navvies going spare?
We will keep you posted on this, in event you might be interested.
Well it would seem that Cicero’s comment last week that family and health more important than work caused a wee storm. Really don’t understand why that might be.
One colleague approached Cicero during the course of the past few days puzzled that he had allowed his Acolyte to leave his post so easily.
‘Let me tell you a story, my dear, ‘said Cicero (for colleague was a Distaff), ‘that was once told me that might help explain better.
‘One day a philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large jar and proceeded to fill it with some rocks, about 2" in diameter.
‘He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
‘So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.
‘He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
‘The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
‘He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "Yes."’
‘"Now," said the professor, "Think that the jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children -- things that if everything else were lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter - like your job, your house, your car...The sand is everything else. The small stuff.”
“If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued "there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your partner out for a meal. There will always be time to go to work and do all the other stuff.’’
‘Now’, said Cicero to his Distaff colleague, ‘do you understand why I said what I said and did what I did? In my book it is imperative that you take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
‘I get it’, said Cicero’s colleague, ‘wandering off to sort out the rocks and pebbles in her life’.
Now you might think that that is where the story ends. You would be wrong. For there is another, and equally helpful way to look at the rocks, pebbles and sand.
From time to time many of us will have a problem with prioritisation, not just of things personal but also in our work.
Now see the rocks as representing our most important activities in our in tray, the pebbles our less meaningful activities and the sand just the chaff.
Most of us focus our attention on the small things in life, the sand and pebbles. But if you fill up the jar with the pebbles and the sand there is no room for the rocks, those tasks that really matter, the tasks that will really drive our businesses forward.
To get the most of our time in the office the lessons are clear-put the big rocks into the empty jar first and then the pebbles and finally the sand and all three materials fit inside the jar. It is the only way it works.
You can learn so much from geology these days.
Is it only me.............but this doesn’t add up.
The other day I was in a well known High St Emporium buying some treats. The kid manning the till did as all kids in these places do-she swiped my treats to calculate how much I owed her. The bill came to £6.14. I can be very abstemious when buying treats.
It was my mistake. I handed over £10 and in an instant the machine the kid was operating had calculated the change.
But not wanting my pockets bulging with all sorts of coppers and other small bawbees thereby ruining the line of my toga and to make things easier for the kid, I handed over an additional 14p so that she might just return me four shiny bronze coins.
It was like I had asked the kid to calculate pi to 29 decimal places.
I kid ye not but the kid did not have the brain cells to calculate in her head how much she now owed me. ‘I have it rung up now’ was the answer and no amount of patient reasoning would encourage the kid to forsake the machine and to calculate the change for herself.
Now it might only be me but just what are they teaching children in today’s schools?
Clearly it is not the basics of addition, subtraction, multiplication and division without the aid of a calculator. It is staggering that we are sending kids out into the world of work when their brains cannot fend for themselves without electronic aids. And these are the ones in work, God knows what the ones not in work are not capable of doing.
Might I suggest that if our education establishments are so incapable of teaching our kids to calculate change correctly, and it is shocking that they are not taught to do this, that our retailers give them some basic lessons in arithmetic. Taxi drivers have to pass ‘The Knowledge’ so why can’t our in-store kids be made to do something similar before they get to serve the Public.
Just a thought but it seems to me to add up.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
Thursday, 9 June 2011
The ripple effect
Salvete.
It is always interesting to note how you respond to these words of wit and wisdom and that is why using the comment facility is always very helpful and interesting. Good to know what you like, what you don’t and what generates shrieks of howls and outrage.
And it is very noteworthy that the words that generate the most ire and angst are those thoughts which follow ‘is it only me.........’ Does anyone ever read Cicero’s thoughts on how to do better marketing, how to be a better leader and how to run a better business? Maybe you just agree with every word that is written and lap up Cicero’s philosophies like a cat lapping the cream.
No matter we will persevere with our thoughts on all matters interesting and hope that these continue to float your educational and entertainment boat.
And to last week’s Anonymouses,or should that be Anonymice, your comments are so wrong on so many levels but as always we defend your right to say it.
During the week Cicero was accosted by a young Acolyte whom he now mentors, guides and teaches in the rural idyll where he now works.
‘Cicero, I am sorry to have to do this but I urgently need some time off to tend to the sickness needs of one who is dear to me. I hope that will be ok with you. I may need to be away from the office for a few weeks and I know how busy we are and how much this will drop you in it but there really is nothing I can do.’
‘Never fear’, said Cicero with a kindly twinkle in his eye, ‘but your health and the needs of friends and family are always more important than our work. We will manage. I will see to it that we will. As a leader it is my job to make sure our people here are properly supported’.
‘Are you sure you can manage?’ asked the Acolyte.
‘Listen carefully now and you will learn how adaptable we can all be if we all try.
‘People said Man United would not withstand the loss of Van Nistelroy or Roy Keane or David Beckham or Ronaldo. Sure the loss of these great players rocked the team back for a wee while but they got over it and now they say Ronald who?
‘Now I want you to imagine a bucket of water. Now think of you submerging your hand in the water. Now quickly and suddenly remove your hand and watch what happens.
‘When you do this for a wee while the water is rippled and rough but it will soon calm down and it will be as if your hand was never in it.
‘Teams and organisations are exactly the same.
‘It will be difficult for us to manage for a wee while and it will be disruptive but somehow we will find a way will dealing with it. We will have to.’
‘So you are saying that I am not important and what I do is irrelevant’, said the Acolyte.
‘I am not saying that at all. You are important and you are doing a great job which we all value and respect but no one, not even Cicero, difficult as that might be to believe, is irreplaceable. People leave, fall sick, move on, and some of us even take holidays, and while each of these events is disruptive, it is our job as leaders to ensure the organisation returns to normal as soon as possible and continues.
‘Now off you go, my child, and tend to your own people. I will work things out here’.
And with that Cicero’s Acolyte left and Cicero swiftly moved to the calm waters for the rest of the team, for the business and for its customers.
Is it only me...but would anyone notice?
You may have seen the news that this week that Harry Harperson’s favourite people, The Equality and Human Rights Commission, went on strike for an hour in protest at planned job cuts. No doubt they would also like Harry Harperson and other nanny interventionists back in power. Well they’re not so get over it.
Did you even know that they had been on strike?
Union representatives also expressed a concern that the cuts could move the agency away from helping the individual and ‘were aimed at turning the body into a think tank’. In other words they would lose their interfering and nannying role. Good, I say.
You know I actually went onto their website. I thought I should not condemn unless I know what I am talking about. And among the piffle were such gems as ‘ A Map of Gaps’, a 700 page Triennial Review entitled ‘How Fair is Britain’ (there is also a similar study for Wales because clearly that is not part of Britain), and ‘Gypsies and Travellers-how to live together’. I kid ye not. Does anyone’s life feel poorer for not having read these riveting reads?
Could I just point out that the 60s and 70s were the last and probably the only truly meritocratic period in our history. A time when people who had not gone to public school and/or to Oxbridge could make it to the top of the greasy pole. And these people did it without Apparatchiks and Quangocrats a plenty to help them. They got there because they had drive, ambition and intelligence. Today we are no doubt spending a fortune on said Quanagocrats and we are less equal and less meritocratic than ever.
Doh, it does not take a genius to work that one out.
Now as usual it might only be me but who do you think would notice if this bunch of Quangocrats went on strike? It’s not like that this body of Apparatchiks empty our bins or dig up our roads, and speaking of which my road remains an open sore, or any other essential service? Indeed maybe these Quangocrats are the least useful across our Public Sector? Is this not the most pointless strike ever in the history of industrial relations in this country....and that is saying something. It beats me what the union barons were thinking about when they decided that the comrades and comradesses who work at the EHRC should down tools and walk out.
No their role is to boss us around, to interfere and try to make us all pc. Can anyone other than the Guardianistas and Polly Townbee, name one useful and constructive thing that this body has ever done for people other than prisoners, criminals or immigrants who are always first in line to claim an infringement to their human rights? We have laws to ensure equality and human rights. And we have courts to enforce these rights. Why do we need a quango on top of this?
Sorry I forgot there is one person who would notice they are on strike-my apologies,
Harry.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
It is always interesting to note how you respond to these words of wit and wisdom and that is why using the comment facility is always very helpful and interesting. Good to know what you like, what you don’t and what generates shrieks of howls and outrage.
And it is very noteworthy that the words that generate the most ire and angst are those thoughts which follow ‘is it only me.........’ Does anyone ever read Cicero’s thoughts on how to do better marketing, how to be a better leader and how to run a better business? Maybe you just agree with every word that is written and lap up Cicero’s philosophies like a cat lapping the cream.
No matter we will persevere with our thoughts on all matters interesting and hope that these continue to float your educational and entertainment boat.
And to last week’s Anonymouses,or should that be Anonymice, your comments are so wrong on so many levels but as always we defend your right to say it.
During the week Cicero was accosted by a young Acolyte whom he now mentors, guides and teaches in the rural idyll where he now works.
‘Cicero, I am sorry to have to do this but I urgently need some time off to tend to the sickness needs of one who is dear to me. I hope that will be ok with you. I may need to be away from the office for a few weeks and I know how busy we are and how much this will drop you in it but there really is nothing I can do.’
‘Never fear’, said Cicero with a kindly twinkle in his eye, ‘but your health and the needs of friends and family are always more important than our work. We will manage. I will see to it that we will. As a leader it is my job to make sure our people here are properly supported’.
‘Are you sure you can manage?’ asked the Acolyte.
‘Listen carefully now and you will learn how adaptable we can all be if we all try.
‘People said Man United would not withstand the loss of Van Nistelroy or Roy Keane or David Beckham or Ronaldo. Sure the loss of these great players rocked the team back for a wee while but they got over it and now they say Ronald who?
‘Now I want you to imagine a bucket of water. Now think of you submerging your hand in the water. Now quickly and suddenly remove your hand and watch what happens.
‘When you do this for a wee while the water is rippled and rough but it will soon calm down and it will be as if your hand was never in it.
‘Teams and organisations are exactly the same.
‘It will be difficult for us to manage for a wee while and it will be disruptive but somehow we will find a way will dealing with it. We will have to.’
‘So you are saying that I am not important and what I do is irrelevant’, said the Acolyte.
‘I am not saying that at all. You are important and you are doing a great job which we all value and respect but no one, not even Cicero, difficult as that might be to believe, is irreplaceable. People leave, fall sick, move on, and some of us even take holidays, and while each of these events is disruptive, it is our job as leaders to ensure the organisation returns to normal as soon as possible and continues.
‘Now off you go, my child, and tend to your own people. I will work things out here’.
And with that Cicero’s Acolyte left and Cicero swiftly moved to the calm waters for the rest of the team, for the business and for its customers.
Is it only me...but would anyone notice?
You may have seen the news that this week that Harry Harperson’s favourite people, The Equality and Human Rights Commission, went on strike for an hour in protest at planned job cuts. No doubt they would also like Harry Harperson and other nanny interventionists back in power. Well they’re not so get over it.
Did you even know that they had been on strike?
Union representatives also expressed a concern that the cuts could move the agency away from helping the individual and ‘were aimed at turning the body into a think tank’. In other words they would lose their interfering and nannying role. Good, I say.
You know I actually went onto their website. I thought I should not condemn unless I know what I am talking about. And among the piffle were such gems as ‘ A Map of Gaps’, a 700 page Triennial Review entitled ‘How Fair is Britain’ (there is also a similar study for Wales because clearly that is not part of Britain), and ‘Gypsies and Travellers-how to live together’. I kid ye not. Does anyone’s life feel poorer for not having read these riveting reads?
Could I just point out that the 60s and 70s were the last and probably the only truly meritocratic period in our history. A time when people who had not gone to public school and/or to Oxbridge could make it to the top of the greasy pole. And these people did it without Apparatchiks and Quangocrats a plenty to help them. They got there because they had drive, ambition and intelligence. Today we are no doubt spending a fortune on said Quanagocrats and we are less equal and less meritocratic than ever.
Doh, it does not take a genius to work that one out.
Now as usual it might only be me but who do you think would notice if this bunch of Quangocrats went on strike? It’s not like that this body of Apparatchiks empty our bins or dig up our roads, and speaking of which my road remains an open sore, or any other essential service? Indeed maybe these Quangocrats are the least useful across our Public Sector? Is this not the most pointless strike ever in the history of industrial relations in this country....and that is saying something. It beats me what the union barons were thinking about when they decided that the comrades and comradesses who work at the EHRC should down tools and walk out.
No their role is to boss us around, to interfere and try to make us all pc. Can anyone other than the Guardianistas and Polly Townbee, name one useful and constructive thing that this body has ever done for people other than prisoners, criminals or immigrants who are always first in line to claim an infringement to their human rights? We have laws to ensure equality and human rights. And we have courts to enforce these rights. Why do we need a quango on top of this?
Sorry I forgot there is one person who would notice they are on strike-my apologies,
Harry.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
Thursday, 2 June 2011
Carrots, sticks and chocolates
Greetings.
Hopefully you have enjoyed the last of our Bank Holidays, at least for a wee while. Seems like April and May have been one long holiday. Now maybe we can get back to wealth creating before the summer beaches beckon.
For those of you still wondering-yep, we still have a hole in our High St with no signs of a suture being imminent. Ye Gods, the Japanese have re-built not just a motorway but their entire country in the time these taxpayer-funded Navvies have taken.
And the big question of the week-did you get your Olympic tickets?
As you know Cicero is a big fan of brands which ruthlessly demonstrate great customer service. And if you have ever been in his proximity when he has experienced brand-destroying bad customer service, you will immediately get a sense of his attitude towards poor customer service. It is not pretty and his feelings can be measured on the Richter scale.
Now you may not know this but Cicero is also a big fan of gowf, or golf as it is now known in these parts.
And a few weeks back Cicero’s aged amicus with whom he traverses the fairways was experiencing trouble with the machine with which he transports his golf implements around the course. In short, it was broken. Something to do with wheel bearings which as you know is a bit of a mystery to Cicero.
Cicero’s amicus dropped an e-mail to the manufacturer of said machine and within two days he was sent a replacement part, free of charge. No quibbling. No attempting to wriggle out. No charge. Brilliant. Cicero and his amicus were well and truly amazed.
That is what you call great customer service and it was all the better for being a complete surprise.
Cicero was musing on this experience when he read an article by one almost as learned as Cicero who was describing his experience with a boot manufacturer, Shipton and Heneage. It is entirely possible that you will not have heard of them but you can learn lots from them. Cicero hadn't and did.
For a start the marketing copy on their website is brilliant. It has real personality and conveys a great sense of what the brand is about, its heritage and its pedigree. It might only make and sell boots but this company knows a lot about the kind of brand it wants to be and delivers this in spades.
But the brand really got going when the boots arrived for it contained more than boots. For inside the box were two pairs of socks and a shoe brush. Another brand which seeks to quietly delight its customers. And what a great way to welcome you to the brand.
For many other businesses at this point, when you have handed over your sesterces, you stop being a prospect and become a customer and this is the point when all niceties go out of the window. It is almost like ‘now you have joined us we can stop trying’. Imagine that. Do you know anyone who behaves like that? But this is not the Shipton and Heneage way, obviously.
Someone once told Cicero that brands can motivate customers in three ways-by giving you a carrot to reward your behaviour; by applying the stick to make you lose out if you don’t act; or to offer a chocolate as a pleasant surprise for responding.
Providing chocolate is the most unusual type of incentive but it will get your brand talked about. And can you imagine any of the big service brands with whom we interact every day of every week behaved in a way we weren’t expecting? Nope. Quelle surprise.
So what kind of brand do you want to be known as-a carrot, stick or chocolate brand? If you go for chocolate, your brand can become very distinctive. And talked about.
Is it only me.........but this is becoming like ‘Carry On, doctor’.
I have been following with keen interest and mounting exasperation the debate around the future of the NHS. Have you?
Now it seems that many out there, supposedly speaking on our behalf, which is code for protecting their own vested interests, are getting their Jockeys in a knot because the Two Caesars (or at least one of them) is supposedly keen on introducing competition and the private sector into the NHS.
What is wrong with that?
Why exactly is competition such a hated word in the lexicon of the NHS? I know that NHS employees are State Apparatchiks but some of them are quite well educated and so should surely see the merits of competition. Are they so afraid of competition that they fear for their jobs? It might be worth pointing out that where there is no competition you end up with Sepp Blatter and FIFA. Do we really want that for the NHS? I think not.
And what is wrong with the introduction of the private sector into the NHS? One argument put forward by the Defenders of the Vested Interest is that the introduction of the private sector means money leaving the NHS. Now let me point one thing out and this might come as a shock to those of you of a more statist dirigiste persuasion-money leaves the NHS and flows to the private sector every minute of every day. Have you got over that shock of that yet?
Drug companies? Private sector. The people who run the computer systems? Private sector. Manufacturers of X ray equipment, CRT scanning equipment, bandages and elastoplasts? Private sector.
And there is good reason for this-it keeps cost down.
Now it might only be me but in my book the NHS only has to deliver against three key principles-it keeps us healthy; it does this at lowest possible cost; and it is free at point of delivery. End of. And if that means it has to use the private sector and introduce competition so be it.
And may I suggest that no one really cares unless of course you are an NHS Apparatchik who fears they won’t be able to stand the heat but is reluctant to leave the kitchen.
So my message to the Two Caesars-just get on with sorting out the NHS, it needs it. The time for listening and pandering to the Vested Interest Groups is over. We elected you to lead, so lead.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
Hopefully you have enjoyed the last of our Bank Holidays, at least for a wee while. Seems like April and May have been one long holiday. Now maybe we can get back to wealth creating before the summer beaches beckon.
For those of you still wondering-yep, we still have a hole in our High St with no signs of a suture being imminent. Ye Gods, the Japanese have re-built not just a motorway but their entire country in the time these taxpayer-funded Navvies have taken.
And the big question of the week-did you get your Olympic tickets?
As you know Cicero is a big fan of brands which ruthlessly demonstrate great customer service. And if you have ever been in his proximity when he has experienced brand-destroying bad customer service, you will immediately get a sense of his attitude towards poor customer service. It is not pretty and his feelings can be measured on the Richter scale.
Now you may not know this but Cicero is also a big fan of gowf, or golf as it is now known in these parts.
And a few weeks back Cicero’s aged amicus with whom he traverses the fairways was experiencing trouble with the machine with which he transports his golf implements around the course. In short, it was broken. Something to do with wheel bearings which as you know is a bit of a mystery to Cicero.
Cicero’s amicus dropped an e-mail to the manufacturer of said machine and within two days he was sent a replacement part, free of charge. No quibbling. No attempting to wriggle out. No charge. Brilliant. Cicero and his amicus were well and truly amazed.
That is what you call great customer service and it was all the better for being a complete surprise.
Cicero was musing on this experience when he read an article by one almost as learned as Cicero who was describing his experience with a boot manufacturer, Shipton and Heneage. It is entirely possible that you will not have heard of them but you can learn lots from them. Cicero hadn't and did.
For a start the marketing copy on their website is brilliant. It has real personality and conveys a great sense of what the brand is about, its heritage and its pedigree. It might only make and sell boots but this company knows a lot about the kind of brand it wants to be and delivers this in spades.
But the brand really got going when the boots arrived for it contained more than boots. For inside the box were two pairs of socks and a shoe brush. Another brand which seeks to quietly delight its customers. And what a great way to welcome you to the brand.
For many other businesses at this point, when you have handed over your sesterces, you stop being a prospect and become a customer and this is the point when all niceties go out of the window. It is almost like ‘now you have joined us we can stop trying’. Imagine that. Do you know anyone who behaves like that? But this is not the Shipton and Heneage way, obviously.
Someone once told Cicero that brands can motivate customers in three ways-by giving you a carrot to reward your behaviour; by applying the stick to make you lose out if you don’t act; or to offer a chocolate as a pleasant surprise for responding.
Providing chocolate is the most unusual type of incentive but it will get your brand talked about. And can you imagine any of the big service brands with whom we interact every day of every week behaved in a way we weren’t expecting? Nope. Quelle surprise.
So what kind of brand do you want to be known as-a carrot, stick or chocolate brand? If you go for chocolate, your brand can become very distinctive. And talked about.
Is it only me.........but this is becoming like ‘Carry On, doctor’.
I have been following with keen interest and mounting exasperation the debate around the future of the NHS. Have you?
Now it seems that many out there, supposedly speaking on our behalf, which is code for protecting their own vested interests, are getting their Jockeys in a knot because the Two Caesars (or at least one of them) is supposedly keen on introducing competition and the private sector into the NHS.
What is wrong with that?
Why exactly is competition such a hated word in the lexicon of the NHS? I know that NHS employees are State Apparatchiks but some of them are quite well educated and so should surely see the merits of competition. Are they so afraid of competition that they fear for their jobs? It might be worth pointing out that where there is no competition you end up with Sepp Blatter and FIFA. Do we really want that for the NHS? I think not.
And what is wrong with the introduction of the private sector into the NHS? One argument put forward by the Defenders of the Vested Interest is that the introduction of the private sector means money leaving the NHS. Now let me point one thing out and this might come as a shock to those of you of a more statist dirigiste persuasion-money leaves the NHS and flows to the private sector every minute of every day. Have you got over that shock of that yet?
Drug companies? Private sector. The people who run the computer systems? Private sector. Manufacturers of X ray equipment, CRT scanning equipment, bandages and elastoplasts? Private sector.
And there is good reason for this-it keeps cost down.
Now it might only be me but in my book the NHS only has to deliver against three key principles-it keeps us healthy; it does this at lowest possible cost; and it is free at point of delivery. End of. And if that means it has to use the private sector and introduce competition so be it.
And may I suggest that no one really cares unless of course you are an NHS Apparatchik who fears they won’t be able to stand the heat but is reluctant to leave the kitchen.
So my message to the Two Caesars-just get on with sorting out the NHS, it needs it. The time for listening and pandering to the Vested Interest Groups is over. We elected you to lead, so lead.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
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