Greetings.
I want to start today with some bad news. This will be the last appearance of Cicero Speaks this year. But I will be back in the first week in January and will be there for you through 2009. I am sure you will cope with my absence. You will have your friends and family to see you through as well as repeats of the Sound of Music and The Great Escape. All equally entertaining if not so informative or enlightening.
And how did you get on during Napkin Week? I did well. I picked up two napkins and a pair of gloves dropped by a passer by. I registered as a bone marrow donor and I began to mentor a troubled teenager to help keep him from trouble by acting as a male role model to him. Can you imagine me a male role model?
So ‘what did you do today to make yourself feel proud’? What napkins, serviettes or tissues did you pick up?
Today I want to introduce you to two words that are going to change your life and transform your business. Two words that will help make our teams and us more creative, more innovative and more positive, and in consequence help revolutionise our businesses. I know that’s a big claim but read on for my secret formula.
In my book the two most damaging words to creativity in any business, any team, are ‘yes but’. These are of course closely followed by the most damaging three words-health and safety. But back to my point.
I bet you hear ‘yes but’ all day long unless you are very lucky and work in the most creative team in the history of mankind though I am equally sure that as a sensible Cicero Speaks follower, disciple and apostle, this will not be the kind of language that you yourself would use.
Anyway if this is the language used in your team and by those around you, you will know that this means that ideas and thoughts generated are not fully explored or built on but killed off with muted enthusiasm and negative criticism.
I think it was Anita Roddick who said (and when I use this phrase you can be sure I am 100% certain that it was her who said it) that ‘if new ideas are constantly turned down, it turns people off, they stop generating ideas, no matter how much you pay them’. As a marketing leader it is my job to make sure this does not happen. I want teams to be more creative. And I want them to work together to improvise, to come up with new ideas, to wonder ‘what if’.
And in successfully creative teams great and productive improvisation depends entirely on each team member being willing to accept each other’s ideas and build on them. ‘Accept and build’ is the improviser’s mantra. In practice this means saying ‘yes’ to ideas and then trying to enhance or add value to them.
And all we have to do is to change one word in the language of our business to achieve this and to transform our workspace. And this is my great secret to creating great creativity and innovation in our teams-move from ‘yes but’ to ‘yes and’. Simple but deadly and yet so very difficult to do.
But, and please note I chose and used ‘but’ in this instance with great care, if we can learn to use ‘yes’ and ‘and’ in the same sentence together, we will unleash the immense potential for startling new ideas that lies dormant within us all and within all our teams, and will create a great source and a powerful new stimulus of inspiring invention and innovation. For now we have the power to accept an idea for what it is without having to criticise it. We have the opportunity to build on it and see where it goes, where it might take us. And in consequence we can create something quite unexpected.
This approach, my ‘yes and’ improvisation mindset, means we avoid killing off a potentially great idea before it has even left the starting blocks. This approach generates positive exploration. And is only the start of a feasibility exercise to reveal whether an idea is useful or not.
I guarantee that 90% of this wild exploration will be useless, totally impractical and a complete waste of time, but I can also assure you that 10% will take you to places you would never have dreamed of going.
Now at this point I bet the words ‘yes but’ are forming in your head. You want to kill this off. You don’t want to go down the route. But I am busy. But no one else will want to do this. But my boss won’t buy into this. And so on and so forth. Now is the time to tell ‘but’ to but out
And consider this. The Dyson was invented because someone said ‘and we could remove the dust bag from the vacuum’. The clockwork radio was born because Trevor Baylis said ‘and we could build a radio without the need for expensive batteries’. The Walkman which begat the iPod came about because someone at Sony said ‘and we could remove the recording function and speakers from a cassette player’. And while some people might have been saying ‘yes but it is impossible to get my computer in America to speak with this one in Australia’, along came Sir Tim Berners Lee and said ‘yes and we could build the world wide web to link these computers’, and in the batting of an eye, internet gaming, dating and porn arrived on the scene and transformed our lives forever.
So go on, give it a try. What have you got to lose? And remember, no ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’. Just plenty of ‘yes ands’.
Now before I go off for my turkey and Christmas pud I would like to leave you with one final thought for you to mull over during the festive break and help me solve my Christmas conundrum.
.
We buy our petrol these days in litres and yet car performance is measured in miles per gallon. Why? I am pretty sure that across this land there must be swathes of boy, and even girl, racers, buying their first souped up rust bucket with go faster stripes, furry dice and large spoilers, who have not got the first idea of what or even who a gallon is or was. Would it not make sense in this day and age of metric measures for Jeremy Clarkson and his mates to extol the virtues of mpl and not mpg? Am I missing something? Am I too logical for this world?
And with that thought I’m off. See you in 2009.
Felix dies nativitatis. Et este fortunatus.
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Sunday 21 December 2008
Monday 15 December 2008
Pick Up The Napkin
I am thrilled to bits this week.
I have had my first comments posted in response to my wit and wisdom. Thank you. Now I know that at least two people are reading this. And so I will continue to entertain, educate and enlighten. And if anyone else out there is provoked or stimulated by my words, we have the technology to allow you to share your thoughts.
Moving on. This week I want to talk about napkins.
A few months ago I was having lunch with a very very senior banker, the sort of person who asks Mr Darling directly if he might have a few billions of our money. Times were hard. And so we were sharing muffins in a well known coffee shop. There was a paper napkin, or are they serviettes, lying on the floor which my banker friend picked up. It was not his napkin. It was not his job to pick it up but as he explained to me if we all picked up the napkins that surround us, the world would be a better place.
I was struck by this. And I was reminded of this conversation after two recent incidents in my sad, unexciting and uneventful life.
In incident number 1 I was held hostage in a London gridlock for 25 minutes by a bus driver who refused to open his doors 100 yards short of the bus stop. It was against the rules even if we were not going anywhere fast. An arthritic snail with a dodgy hip and a zimmer frame could have got to that bus stop before the bus.
In incident number 2 my local bank branch refused a request to open another till even though there was 30 minute queue. Seemingly though the staff were there, some computer system somewhere had declared that at that time of the day only one till, not two, was considered necessary.
I have invented a new counting game and I play it every morning. And this is a game the whole family can play. I awaken either to the svelte tones of Radio 4 or the more matey voices on Radio 5, dependent on whether I want posh or provincial, and I count in any 15 minute period the number of times I hear someone asking the government to do something or to spend more money to solve a problem. My record so far is 12.Think about it that is almost one request for the ‘them’ to do something per minute. That is staggering.
Why do we think the people who run our government have the answers? Indeed you would think that by now we would know that government might have all the answers, but not necessarily the right ones. Why should ‘them’ be any better at solving our problems than we can ourselves? Why do we ask ‘them’ to pick up the napkin when in many cases we can do it ourselves?
Are we losing the ability to pick up the napkin? Does the welfare state mean we all lose our sense of responsibility? Does the nanny state mean we forget how to take personal accountability? Following orders has become our favourite pastime. Passing the buck the best selling game this Christmas. Looking the other way is now an Olympic sport.
I worry we are creating a culture of dependency which is trapping us all. A culture where we have rules, systems and processes for much of our lives. And we have all become dependent on these for our decision making to the extent that we are losing the will and the ability to think for ourselves. We have become afraid to pick up the napkin. We do things right but do we do the right things? And if we don’t our customers, our businesses, our communities all suffer.
As someone far brighter than me, and I know that does not narrow the field down much, once said ‘Rules are to the interpretation of wise men and the obedience of fools’. My sentiments exactly.
There are many people out there who have seen the napkin and picked it up without asking for or waiting for government help. Chad Varah picked up the napkin and founded the Samaritans to help the lonely, the suicidal and the depressed. John Bird himself homeless, picked up the napkin, and founded the Big Issue to help the homeless. And across the country in the 19th century ordinary men and women, like you and me, though I am sure you are not ordinary, picked up the napkin in their locality and founded the building society movement to let them buy and own their own home. And so on. I dread to think how these fine bodies and organisations might work if they were state-run.
And it is not just on the big issues that we can make a difference. There are plenty of small napkins out there too, or maybe they should be called tissues. Whatever. How many times do we come across instances in shops, offices, customer service centres (an oxymoron of ever there was one) where people fail to use common sense because the rules, the systems, the processes don’t or won’t allow it.
This may surprise you but, whisper it, I am far from perfect. I too have from time to time managed to avoid picking up the napkin. I too have practiced the popular art of sticking my head in the sand. I have passed the buck. I have delegated responsibility. I have passed on personal accountability. But wouldn’t it be great if we could create a generation, a nation, of napkin picker-uppers? What do you think?
And so this week I want to make Napkin Week. And to call on all Cicero Speaks devotees, instead of looking to government, bosses or them, whoever them might be, to pick up the napkin, to take responsibility upon ourselves and to make life better for ourselves, for our families, for our customers, for our colleagues, for our communities, for society. Let us all pledge that from this day forward we will take responsibility for picking up the napkin. And let our rallying cry be ‘Seek forgiveness, not permission’.
Can we do it? In words of my favourite management guru, Bob the Builder, ‘yes, we can.’
Let me know how you get on. And please share with me the napkin you picked up this week. And next week I will let you know how I got on. Deal? I want us to beat last week’s record of two posts. Surely there are more than two people reading my fine words. Aren’t there?
Have a great week.
Ave atque vale. Et este fortunatus
I have had my first comments posted in response to my wit and wisdom. Thank you. Now I know that at least two people are reading this. And so I will continue to entertain, educate and enlighten. And if anyone else out there is provoked or stimulated by my words, we have the technology to allow you to share your thoughts.
Moving on. This week I want to talk about napkins.
A few months ago I was having lunch with a very very senior banker, the sort of person who asks Mr Darling directly if he might have a few billions of our money. Times were hard. And so we were sharing muffins in a well known coffee shop. There was a paper napkin, or are they serviettes, lying on the floor which my banker friend picked up. It was not his napkin. It was not his job to pick it up but as he explained to me if we all picked up the napkins that surround us, the world would be a better place.
I was struck by this. And I was reminded of this conversation after two recent incidents in my sad, unexciting and uneventful life.
In incident number 1 I was held hostage in a London gridlock for 25 minutes by a bus driver who refused to open his doors 100 yards short of the bus stop. It was against the rules even if we were not going anywhere fast. An arthritic snail with a dodgy hip and a zimmer frame could have got to that bus stop before the bus.
In incident number 2 my local bank branch refused a request to open another till even though there was 30 minute queue. Seemingly though the staff were there, some computer system somewhere had declared that at that time of the day only one till, not two, was considered necessary.
I have invented a new counting game and I play it every morning. And this is a game the whole family can play. I awaken either to the svelte tones of Radio 4 or the more matey voices on Radio 5, dependent on whether I want posh or provincial, and I count in any 15 minute period the number of times I hear someone asking the government to do something or to spend more money to solve a problem. My record so far is 12.Think about it that is almost one request for the ‘them’ to do something per minute. That is staggering.
Why do we think the people who run our government have the answers? Indeed you would think that by now we would know that government might have all the answers, but not necessarily the right ones. Why should ‘them’ be any better at solving our problems than we can ourselves? Why do we ask ‘them’ to pick up the napkin when in many cases we can do it ourselves?
Are we losing the ability to pick up the napkin? Does the welfare state mean we all lose our sense of responsibility? Does the nanny state mean we forget how to take personal accountability? Following orders has become our favourite pastime. Passing the buck the best selling game this Christmas. Looking the other way is now an Olympic sport.
I worry we are creating a culture of dependency which is trapping us all. A culture where we have rules, systems and processes for much of our lives. And we have all become dependent on these for our decision making to the extent that we are losing the will and the ability to think for ourselves. We have become afraid to pick up the napkin. We do things right but do we do the right things? And if we don’t our customers, our businesses, our communities all suffer.
As someone far brighter than me, and I know that does not narrow the field down much, once said ‘Rules are to the interpretation of wise men and the obedience of fools’. My sentiments exactly.
There are many people out there who have seen the napkin and picked it up without asking for or waiting for government help. Chad Varah picked up the napkin and founded the Samaritans to help the lonely, the suicidal and the depressed. John Bird himself homeless, picked up the napkin, and founded the Big Issue to help the homeless. And across the country in the 19th century ordinary men and women, like you and me, though I am sure you are not ordinary, picked up the napkin in their locality and founded the building society movement to let them buy and own their own home. And so on. I dread to think how these fine bodies and organisations might work if they were state-run.
And it is not just on the big issues that we can make a difference. There are plenty of small napkins out there too, or maybe they should be called tissues. Whatever. How many times do we come across instances in shops, offices, customer service centres (an oxymoron of ever there was one) where people fail to use common sense because the rules, the systems, the processes don’t or won’t allow it.
This may surprise you but, whisper it, I am far from perfect. I too have from time to time managed to avoid picking up the napkin. I too have practiced the popular art of sticking my head in the sand. I have passed the buck. I have delegated responsibility. I have passed on personal accountability. But wouldn’t it be great if we could create a generation, a nation, of napkin picker-uppers? What do you think?
And so this week I want to make Napkin Week. And to call on all Cicero Speaks devotees, instead of looking to government, bosses or them, whoever them might be, to pick up the napkin, to take responsibility upon ourselves and to make life better for ourselves, for our families, for our customers, for our colleagues, for our communities, for society. Let us all pledge that from this day forward we will take responsibility for picking up the napkin. And let our rallying cry be ‘Seek forgiveness, not permission’.
Can we do it? In words of my favourite management guru, Bob the Builder, ‘yes, we can.’
Let me know how you get on. And please share with me the napkin you picked up this week. And next week I will let you know how I got on. Deal? I want us to beat last week’s record of two posts. Surely there are more than two people reading my fine words. Aren’t there?
Have a great week.
Ave atque vale. Et este fortunatus
Monday 8 December 2008
Wikipedia, LEGO and John Sergeant
Ever wondered what Wikipedia, Lego and John Sergeant have in common? Read on.
Ok, I’m sorry. You must have hoped that that by now you had heard the last of the social and cultural phenomenon that is, or was, John Sergeant. But please bear with me.
And lest you have just returned from a far flung galaxy, and even there you might have heard the news, or been sharing a cave with Mr Bin Laden, here is a short précis. If you have been to neither of these places, you can skip the next paragraph.
Mr Sergeant is a TV political correspondent previously better known for being brutally shoved out of the way by Maggie Thatcher’s press Rottweiler live on TV sometime in the early 1990s. This clearly was not fame enough and so he chased the limelight again on a prime time Saturday evening dance competition cum entertainment show. He can’t dance but every week The Great British Public, believing it to be an entertainment show, which I thought Saturday night TV was for, kept him dancing to the annoyance of the judges, to dance professionals and to the much better amateur dancers TGBP booted off. With me so far. There were Facebook sites, blogs and online campaigns dedicated to keeping him on the show. The world may be going to hell in a handcart, banks going bust and the environment being destroyed but the survival of Mr Sergeant was our main preoccupation. And then thinking it was getting a wee bit OTT, he did the decent thing, fell on his sword and danced his last waltz. The nation was up in arms, it was headline news and I am pretty sure that Gordon Brown, seeing a bandwagon passing by, must have jumped on it and demanded resignations at the BBC. It was a JFK moment, a Thatcher resignation flashback, a Neil Armstrong landing on the moon memory. We will all remember where we were when we heard the news. Me? I was in a queue when it came up on a TV screen and those around me called friends, family and even strangers to spread the news. I kid you not. It was a phenomenon.
Ok we are now all up to speed. Now let’s get serious and consider what is going on here. And I think this has implications for business and how it markets itself in the 21st century.
I believe that the age of businesses talking down to customers or viewers through traditional marketing tools, techniques and communication channels, is over. The You Tube and Facebook mindset is here, and that is not just an age thing as even a digital immigrant like me has been seen on Facebook. This mindset is no longer satisfied with being told what to think, feel and do, or even who they should watch dancing. We want to participate in the process.
Traditional talk down marketing will continue to have a place, albeit on the margins, but the advance of web 2.0 or user generated content capabilities is making it increasingly easy for us as individual consumers to circumvent the wiles of traditional marketing techniques. Today the action is happening on social networking sites such as the sort we are banned from using at work, on notice boards, blog sites and community forums. The challenge for businesses and even TV dance competitions is how to engage through these channels of communication and to reflect and to stay ahead of its views and opinions.
The online communities set up to canvass support for Mr Sergeant’s dance floor stroll to music is a powerful demonstration of this. And conversations and chatter like this are happening online right now about many big name businesses, products and services. Scary and powerful.
The fate of many consumer businesses is no longer in the hands of the big bold brassy TV ad in the break at Coronation St persuading you how to think, feel and act but in our anonymous online digits spreading chatter, thoughts and opinions to places not reached by a Coronation St ad break.
Businesses must now engage in conversation with their customers and with their markets, find ways to build a true and meaningful dialogue instead of the marketing monologue that has been the practice of marketers to date. And that we must find a way to use the technologies that are out there to start these conversations.
And at the same time consumer expectations for choice and control have risen off the scale, and with them demands for greater customisation. The ‘you can have any colour you want so long as its black’ approach to product development has gone. Look at all the options now available to car buyers. For a business which is prepared to take the risk there are dedicated communities of advocates who are willing to contribute ideas and opinions and to co-create the next generation of products and services. Even help co-create dance competitions masquerading as Saturday night light entertainment.
And if you want some other examples of this beyond our combined efforts to use the new technologies and mindsets to wipe the smug smile off the face of Craig Revell-Horwood, think Wikipedia though it does frighten the pants off me that this is now a prime source of reference for today’s younger generation. And LEGO famously invited customers to suggest new models interactively and then reward those people whose ideas were taken up. And does Amazon not allow all of us to become a critic and contribute our thoughts and opinions on a book, a CD or DVD.
So this kind of marketing, which I call 4 C marketing can and does work. Just ask John Sergeant.
And here is this week’s Big Question. The first snow flurries have this week arrived but why do we now close schools at first sign of a fall in temperature? I come from a frozen extremity of the country and from a time before global and warming never appeared in same sentence but I don’t remember ever missing a day of school just because we had to scrape ice from the car, indeed we did not even have a car. It made me the person I am today. Are today’s children frightened to leave their warm centrally heated environment? Or is it down to that scourge of modern society, the most economically damaging three words in history, health and safety? Your thoughts please. All I can say is that we should be grateful our kids don’t live in the Alps or somewhere where it really snows. Sure we would do really well at the winter Olympics but would our children be able to read and write?
Have a great week. Ave atque vale. Et este fortunatus.
Ok, I’m sorry. You must have hoped that that by now you had heard the last of the social and cultural phenomenon that is, or was, John Sergeant. But please bear with me.
And lest you have just returned from a far flung galaxy, and even there you might have heard the news, or been sharing a cave with Mr Bin Laden, here is a short précis. If you have been to neither of these places, you can skip the next paragraph.
Mr Sergeant is a TV political correspondent previously better known for being brutally shoved out of the way by Maggie Thatcher’s press Rottweiler live on TV sometime in the early 1990s. This clearly was not fame enough and so he chased the limelight again on a prime time Saturday evening dance competition cum entertainment show. He can’t dance but every week The Great British Public, believing it to be an entertainment show, which I thought Saturday night TV was for, kept him dancing to the annoyance of the judges, to dance professionals and to the much better amateur dancers TGBP booted off. With me so far. There were Facebook sites, blogs and online campaigns dedicated to keeping him on the show. The world may be going to hell in a handcart, banks going bust and the environment being destroyed but the survival of Mr Sergeant was our main preoccupation. And then thinking it was getting a wee bit OTT, he did the decent thing, fell on his sword and danced his last waltz. The nation was up in arms, it was headline news and I am pretty sure that Gordon Brown, seeing a bandwagon passing by, must have jumped on it and demanded resignations at the BBC. It was a JFK moment, a Thatcher resignation flashback, a Neil Armstrong landing on the moon memory. We will all remember where we were when we heard the news. Me? I was in a queue when it came up on a TV screen and those around me called friends, family and even strangers to spread the news. I kid you not. It was a phenomenon.
Ok we are now all up to speed. Now let’s get serious and consider what is going on here. And I think this has implications for business and how it markets itself in the 21st century.
I believe that the age of businesses talking down to customers or viewers through traditional marketing tools, techniques and communication channels, is over. The You Tube and Facebook mindset is here, and that is not just an age thing as even a digital immigrant like me has been seen on Facebook. This mindset is no longer satisfied with being told what to think, feel and do, or even who they should watch dancing. We want to participate in the process.
Traditional talk down marketing will continue to have a place, albeit on the margins, but the advance of web 2.0 or user generated content capabilities is making it increasingly easy for us as individual consumers to circumvent the wiles of traditional marketing techniques. Today the action is happening on social networking sites such as the sort we are banned from using at work, on notice boards, blog sites and community forums. The challenge for businesses and even TV dance competitions is how to engage through these channels of communication and to reflect and to stay ahead of its views and opinions.
The online communities set up to canvass support for Mr Sergeant’s dance floor stroll to music is a powerful demonstration of this. And conversations and chatter like this are happening online right now about many big name businesses, products and services. Scary and powerful.
The fate of many consumer businesses is no longer in the hands of the big bold brassy TV ad in the break at Coronation St persuading you how to think, feel and act but in our anonymous online digits spreading chatter, thoughts and opinions to places not reached by a Coronation St ad break.
Businesses must now engage in conversation with their customers and with their markets, find ways to build a true and meaningful dialogue instead of the marketing monologue that has been the practice of marketers to date. And that we must find a way to use the technologies that are out there to start these conversations.
And at the same time consumer expectations for choice and control have risen off the scale, and with them demands for greater customisation. The ‘you can have any colour you want so long as its black’ approach to product development has gone. Look at all the options now available to car buyers. For a business which is prepared to take the risk there are dedicated communities of advocates who are willing to contribute ideas and opinions and to co-create the next generation of products and services. Even help co-create dance competitions masquerading as Saturday night light entertainment.
And if you want some other examples of this beyond our combined efforts to use the new technologies and mindsets to wipe the smug smile off the face of Craig Revell-Horwood, think Wikipedia though it does frighten the pants off me that this is now a prime source of reference for today’s younger generation. And LEGO famously invited customers to suggest new models interactively and then reward those people whose ideas were taken up. And does Amazon not allow all of us to become a critic and contribute our thoughts and opinions on a book, a CD or DVD.
So this kind of marketing, which I call 4 C marketing can and does work. Just ask John Sergeant.
And here is this week’s Big Question. The first snow flurries have this week arrived but why do we now close schools at first sign of a fall in temperature? I come from a frozen extremity of the country and from a time before global and warming never appeared in same sentence but I don’t remember ever missing a day of school just because we had to scrape ice from the car, indeed we did not even have a car. It made me the person I am today. Are today’s children frightened to leave their warm centrally heated environment? Or is it down to that scourge of modern society, the most economically damaging three words in history, health and safety? Your thoughts please. All I can say is that we should be grateful our kids don’t live in the Alps or somewhere where it really snows. Sure we would do really well at the winter Olympics but would our children be able to read and write?
Have a great week. Ave atque vale. Et este fortunatus.
Monday 1 December 2008
In defence of banks
Many happy returns to Cicero Speaks.
I take it you enjoyed conversing with me so much last week that you wanted to come back for more of the same, more of my thought provoking warm wit and wisdom. Thank you. I will try not to let you down.
And if this is your first time here. Welcome. Stick around. You will get soon the hang of this. And I hope you will be so stimulated by my thoughts and views on marketing, on business, on life, that you will want to come back and will want to take part in my Great Big Conversation.
And please let me have your thoughts on my thoughts. It is very lonely writing for you. Mr Google has laboured long and hard to allow you to comment on my words.
This week I want to stick up for banks. I know this is bound to be controversial but someone has to before we all get consumed by our choleric anger against them.
And before I start let me declare an interest. I am no apologist for the banking industry in this country but until recently I practised my marketing arts and science at one of these fine establishments. The banking industry has been good to me-it paid for my house, my car, indeed it funded my entire lifestyle, as it does for us all though in a very different way. And I do want the industry to be around to fund my old age which is coming up fast towards me. My future is almost behind me.
Now I may be stupid but I am not so stupid as to think that banks are entirely blameless in the situation we are now in. I understand that banks are guilty of humungous errors over the past few years. Only an idiot would think that if you lend money to a Tennessee trailer park resident with no income, no job and no assets, that you are going to get it back. And only someone who is severely learning disadvantaged would think it commercially sensible to buy these loans along with loans to his cousin from Texas, his wife’s sister in Alabama and his brother-in-law’s cousin’s wife’s friend in Florida. Sorry I forgot, that is exactly what the bankers did with our money.
Banking used to be easy. It was based on the 3-6-3 rule. You pay savers 3% for their money, lend at 6% and be on golf course for 3. But that was before the rocket scientists took over and decided to invent a whole new range of TLAs, or three letter acronyms, such as CDOs, CDS and WTFs, which no one, including me, understands. As my old boss (and in case my old boss is reading this, when I say old I mean former, you are not old, honest) used to say ‘if you don’t understand what you are buying and selling, don’t buy or sell it’. Wise words.
I think you will be with me so far. But you will no doubt be wondering how I can stand up for these morons. Let me try to explain. Let us look at why these bankers, and I know I am only one letter out, did what they did.
In some respects we must all share a responsibility for what happened, unpalatable as that might sound. Do we not believe we have an inalienable right to right buy a house with a cheap mortgage? Did we not think that our spending on cars, holidays, clothes and the rest via our flexible friends was a basic human right? And did we ever for a moment consider where the banks got the money to lend onto us?
Sure we gave the banks our savings to help fund the boom we have all enjoyed over the past few years but that was nowhere enough and so banks also got money to fund our insatiable desire for cheap borrowing from dodgier, riskier and more incomprehensible sources of funding. Yes I know the banks wanted us to borrow but we as consumers were not exactly slow in taking and spending it. Indeed to fund our borrowing ‘needs’ it is estimated banks need an additional £700bn over above what they get from savings. Where do you think this money is going to come from? Are we going to save an additional £700bn? I don’t know about you but I am a little brassick at the moment.
And now we all think we are all shareholders in these banks. We are not, except of course RBS where we are shareholders. As taxpayers we have only lent them the trifling sum of £40 odd billion plus a few more hundred billion in guarantees, soon we will be talking real money. And this money was given to them not so they could lend but so they could be safe and strong.
As a taxpayer I would like my share of this loan back. And I want to see banks big and strong and profitable, keeping our savings safe and generating profits to pay tax again. Don’t you?
This means that the banks have to lend sensibly and behave commercially. This does not give us the right, no matter how unfair it might seem, to demand higher savings rates, lower mortgage rates, increased lending to small businesses, an end to repossessions and even, and I kid you not, I even heard this on the radio, the right to 6 Nations rugby tickets since this is sponsored by one of the many banks we now think we own. I would like my money back as soon as possible
So going forward I would like the bank which has got my tax money to return to health at the earliest opportunity. I want it making good returns again, not excessive ones, good is good enough for me. I would like it to do this with great humility. And I want us as consumers to remember the part our greed played in bringing this about.
That is why I am standing up for banks.
And finally, here’s a thought. Are there any streets in London that are not being dug up? Everywhere you look there is a hole in the road. I play golf and I share my golf course with herds of rabbits, themselves inveterate hole diggers. I believe that there are less holes on my golf course than there are in central London currently. What is going on? Why has London taken on the appearance of an Ementhal cheese?
And that note, I’m off. See you again next week.
Ave atque vale. Et este fornatus.
I take it you enjoyed conversing with me so much last week that you wanted to come back for more of the same, more of my thought provoking warm wit and wisdom. Thank you. I will try not to let you down.
And if this is your first time here. Welcome. Stick around. You will get soon the hang of this. And I hope you will be so stimulated by my thoughts and views on marketing, on business, on life, that you will want to come back and will want to take part in my Great Big Conversation.
And please let me have your thoughts on my thoughts. It is very lonely writing for you. Mr Google has laboured long and hard to allow you to comment on my words.
This week I want to stick up for banks. I know this is bound to be controversial but someone has to before we all get consumed by our choleric anger against them.
And before I start let me declare an interest. I am no apologist for the banking industry in this country but until recently I practised my marketing arts and science at one of these fine establishments. The banking industry has been good to me-it paid for my house, my car, indeed it funded my entire lifestyle, as it does for us all though in a very different way. And I do want the industry to be around to fund my old age which is coming up fast towards me. My future is almost behind me.
Now I may be stupid but I am not so stupid as to think that banks are entirely blameless in the situation we are now in. I understand that banks are guilty of humungous errors over the past few years. Only an idiot would think that if you lend money to a Tennessee trailer park resident with no income, no job and no assets, that you are going to get it back. And only someone who is severely learning disadvantaged would think it commercially sensible to buy these loans along with loans to his cousin from Texas, his wife’s sister in Alabama and his brother-in-law’s cousin’s wife’s friend in Florida. Sorry I forgot, that is exactly what the bankers did with our money.
Banking used to be easy. It was based on the 3-6-3 rule. You pay savers 3% for their money, lend at 6% and be on golf course for 3. But that was before the rocket scientists took over and decided to invent a whole new range of TLAs, or three letter acronyms, such as CDOs, CDS and WTFs, which no one, including me, understands. As my old boss (and in case my old boss is reading this, when I say old I mean former, you are not old, honest) used to say ‘if you don’t understand what you are buying and selling, don’t buy or sell it’. Wise words.
I think you will be with me so far. But you will no doubt be wondering how I can stand up for these morons. Let me try to explain. Let us look at why these bankers, and I know I am only one letter out, did what they did.
In some respects we must all share a responsibility for what happened, unpalatable as that might sound. Do we not believe we have an inalienable right to right buy a house with a cheap mortgage? Did we not think that our spending on cars, holidays, clothes and the rest via our flexible friends was a basic human right? And did we ever for a moment consider where the banks got the money to lend onto us?
Sure we gave the banks our savings to help fund the boom we have all enjoyed over the past few years but that was nowhere enough and so banks also got money to fund our insatiable desire for cheap borrowing from dodgier, riskier and more incomprehensible sources of funding. Yes I know the banks wanted us to borrow but we as consumers were not exactly slow in taking and spending it. Indeed to fund our borrowing ‘needs’ it is estimated banks need an additional £700bn over above what they get from savings. Where do you think this money is going to come from? Are we going to save an additional £700bn? I don’t know about you but I am a little brassick at the moment.
And now we all think we are all shareholders in these banks. We are not, except of course RBS where we are shareholders. As taxpayers we have only lent them the trifling sum of £40 odd billion plus a few more hundred billion in guarantees, soon we will be talking real money. And this money was given to them not so they could lend but so they could be safe and strong.
As a taxpayer I would like my share of this loan back. And I want to see banks big and strong and profitable, keeping our savings safe and generating profits to pay tax again. Don’t you?
This means that the banks have to lend sensibly and behave commercially. This does not give us the right, no matter how unfair it might seem, to demand higher savings rates, lower mortgage rates, increased lending to small businesses, an end to repossessions and even, and I kid you not, I even heard this on the radio, the right to 6 Nations rugby tickets since this is sponsored by one of the many banks we now think we own. I would like my money back as soon as possible
So going forward I would like the bank which has got my tax money to return to health at the earliest opportunity. I want it making good returns again, not excessive ones, good is good enough for me. I would like it to do this with great humility. And I want us as consumers to remember the part our greed played in bringing this about.
That is why I am standing up for banks.
And finally, here’s a thought. Are there any streets in London that are not being dug up? Everywhere you look there is a hole in the road. I play golf and I share my golf course with herds of rabbits, themselves inveterate hole diggers. I believe that there are less holes on my golf course than there are in central London currently. What is going on? Why has London taken on the appearance of an Ementhal cheese?
And that note, I’m off. See you again next week.
Ave atque vale. Et este fornatus.
Tuesday 25 November 2008
The First One
Hello. And welcome. Is there anybody there? Hello. I hope you are there. Otherwise I am going to feel a right Charlie. So unless I hear to the contrary I will assume you are there and that you are reading this.
Shall we get the introductions over with and out the way? Well I am actually quite shy but if you want to know more about me, read my profile on this site but other than what you see here I am going to stick to the principle of no names, no pack drill. For the moment you need to know I am a member of society’s most endangered species, a middle-aged, middle-class male. I now like to think of myself as a marketing philosopher, even if no one else does.. You can make your own mind up on that one as we get to know each other better.
So what will you find here that might interest you enough to want to come back? Cicero Speaks will speak on a number of hugely topical and relevant issues and I want to kick of a Great Big Conversation with you. I want to give you some insight into my mind and marketing philosophies and discuss with you some key marketing insights. And at times I will want to converse with you about some of life’s absurdities and stupidities, of which there are many and bound to be many more.
This will not be a place to rant and rage though it might come close to that sometimes. This is a place to come for cool reflection, rational insight and deep learning, leavened by warm wit and wisdom.
So why have I decided to write this? Why does Cicero want to speak and to have a Great Big Conversation? Because I have nothing else to do between marketing lunches? Well that could be one reason. To satisfy my ego? I am deeply hurt that anyone might think that. To pad out the internet? Most certainly. There is absolutely nothing of any interest or value whatsoever on the internet.
The real reason for me is I want to make the weird and wacky world of marketing interesting and accessible to a wider audience. We philosophers and marketers are very misunderstood and through Cicero Speaks I want to share insight and absurdities with you all. And of course I want to bring my philosophical wit and wisdom to a wider, more global audience.
And I truly want this to be a conversation with you. Please feel free to highlight and pinpoint absurdities and stupidities. Please feel free to voice your thoughts and opinions. Please feel free to disagree with me, though I would prefer it if you agreed.
And the good news, and this really does appeal to me as a Scot, is that access to my philosophical wit and wisdom is free, gratis, complimentary. Now you can’t say fairer than that. All I ask is your time, your mind and your opinions. I know, I am so generous.
And maybe, just maybe, if enough of us take part in my Great Big Conversation, we might become the future we want. We can but dream.
So every Monday it is my intention to let you have my thoughts and marketing philosophy on a new and hopefully topical issue. Come back each week and hear Cicero Speaks.
Let me help you get the hang of Cicero Speaks with a topical worked example.
If you are a regular driver you will have seen parked in lay-bys across the length and breadth of this country trailers and caravans serving up hot, nutritious and cheap food to truckers, white van drivers and motorists of all shapes and sizes, though I must admit the shape is usually round and tubby and the size XXL. The ambience of these lay by dining establishments varies hugely. I have seen some with top of the range patio furniture. And with others you get nothing more than a bottle of brown sauce and some salt. But what you get at all of them is hot, cheap and clean comfort food usually served up with good banter. You don’t go there if you want muesli, yoghurt or any other rabbit food. You do go there if you want bacon, sausage, a beef burger and to indulge your primeval carnivoristic instincts.
And the people who run these establishments, while they are not going to win many Michelin stars, though maybe there is an opportunity to produce a guide to these places, are in my humble opinion some of the greatest retail entrepreneurs in the land. They understand the principles of retail marketing as well as Mr Tesco, Mr Marks and Mr Spencer.
They have great insight into their customer. They have an offer which is engaging and relevant. They are single minded in meeting the needs of market. They understand the importance of location, And every day they retail a product that is well priced and well manufactured. The only difference between Big Al’s Trucker Stop on the A44 outside Wyre Piddle (yes there really is such a place) and Mr Gordon f**$!*g Ramsay is price point. Ok, there might be a few other differences but you get the point.
But now the nanny state has decided to intervene. It is not enough that these guys, and women of course, are hugely successful. Nor is it sufficient that these people are marketing gurus. None of that amounts to a hill of beans if they are not contributing to the healthy well being of our nation. And so it is now being proposed that unless they serve up healthy options alongside their traditional fare, environmental health officers will be given the power to close these eateries down. Because we all know Joe the Plumber, Joe the Trucker and Joe the White Van Man like nothing more than a mango smoothie, a peach yoghurt and a cereal bar to see them through the day. Can you name me a single environmental health officer who has built up a sound business based on solid marketing principles? Nope, neither can I.
And here is my top tip for the week. Let environmental health concentrate on finding mouse droppings in the kitchens, salmonella in the food and soap in the toilet, and let Big Al and his mates focus on being great retail marketers by giving their market what it wants.
Time to go. Thanks for dropping by and for reading this. I hope you enjoyed it enough to want to come back next week and listen again to Cicero Speaks. And if you enjoyed reading this tell your friends. If you have no friends, tell everybody you know. And if you don’t know anybody, then write to me.
Have a great week. Et este felix.
Shall we get the introductions over with and out the way? Well I am actually quite shy but if you want to know more about me, read my profile on this site but other than what you see here I am going to stick to the principle of no names, no pack drill. For the moment you need to know I am a member of society’s most endangered species, a middle-aged, middle-class male. I now like to think of myself as a marketing philosopher, even if no one else does.. You can make your own mind up on that one as we get to know each other better.
So what will you find here that might interest you enough to want to come back? Cicero Speaks will speak on a number of hugely topical and relevant issues and I want to kick of a Great Big Conversation with you. I want to give you some insight into my mind and marketing philosophies and discuss with you some key marketing insights. And at times I will want to converse with you about some of life’s absurdities and stupidities, of which there are many and bound to be many more.
This will not be a place to rant and rage though it might come close to that sometimes. This is a place to come for cool reflection, rational insight and deep learning, leavened by warm wit and wisdom.
So why have I decided to write this? Why does Cicero want to speak and to have a Great Big Conversation? Because I have nothing else to do between marketing lunches? Well that could be one reason. To satisfy my ego? I am deeply hurt that anyone might think that. To pad out the internet? Most certainly. There is absolutely nothing of any interest or value whatsoever on the internet.
The real reason for me is I want to make the weird and wacky world of marketing interesting and accessible to a wider audience. We philosophers and marketers are very misunderstood and through Cicero Speaks I want to share insight and absurdities with you all. And of course I want to bring my philosophical wit and wisdom to a wider, more global audience.
And I truly want this to be a conversation with you. Please feel free to highlight and pinpoint absurdities and stupidities. Please feel free to voice your thoughts and opinions. Please feel free to disagree with me, though I would prefer it if you agreed.
And the good news, and this really does appeal to me as a Scot, is that access to my philosophical wit and wisdom is free, gratis, complimentary. Now you can’t say fairer than that. All I ask is your time, your mind and your opinions. I know, I am so generous.
And maybe, just maybe, if enough of us take part in my Great Big Conversation, we might become the future we want. We can but dream.
So every Monday it is my intention to let you have my thoughts and marketing philosophy on a new and hopefully topical issue. Come back each week and hear Cicero Speaks.
Let me help you get the hang of Cicero Speaks with a topical worked example.
If you are a regular driver you will have seen parked in lay-bys across the length and breadth of this country trailers and caravans serving up hot, nutritious and cheap food to truckers, white van drivers and motorists of all shapes and sizes, though I must admit the shape is usually round and tubby and the size XXL. The ambience of these lay by dining establishments varies hugely. I have seen some with top of the range patio furniture. And with others you get nothing more than a bottle of brown sauce and some salt. But what you get at all of them is hot, cheap and clean comfort food usually served up with good banter. You don’t go there if you want muesli, yoghurt or any other rabbit food. You do go there if you want bacon, sausage, a beef burger and to indulge your primeval carnivoristic instincts.
And the people who run these establishments, while they are not going to win many Michelin stars, though maybe there is an opportunity to produce a guide to these places, are in my humble opinion some of the greatest retail entrepreneurs in the land. They understand the principles of retail marketing as well as Mr Tesco, Mr Marks and Mr Spencer.
They have great insight into their customer. They have an offer which is engaging and relevant. They are single minded in meeting the needs of market. They understand the importance of location, And every day they retail a product that is well priced and well manufactured. The only difference between Big Al’s Trucker Stop on the A44 outside Wyre Piddle (yes there really is such a place) and Mr Gordon f**$!*g Ramsay is price point. Ok, there might be a few other differences but you get the point.
But now the nanny state has decided to intervene. It is not enough that these guys, and women of course, are hugely successful. Nor is it sufficient that these people are marketing gurus. None of that amounts to a hill of beans if they are not contributing to the healthy well being of our nation. And so it is now being proposed that unless they serve up healthy options alongside their traditional fare, environmental health officers will be given the power to close these eateries down. Because we all know Joe the Plumber, Joe the Trucker and Joe the White Van Man like nothing more than a mango smoothie, a peach yoghurt and a cereal bar to see them through the day. Can you name me a single environmental health officer who has built up a sound business based on solid marketing principles? Nope, neither can I.
And here is my top tip for the week. Let environmental health concentrate on finding mouse droppings in the kitchens, salmonella in the food and soap in the toilet, and let Big Al and his mates focus on being great retail marketers by giving their market what it wants.
Time to go. Thanks for dropping by and for reading this. I hope you enjoyed it enough to want to come back next week and listen again to Cicero Speaks. And if you enjoyed reading this tell your friends. If you have no friends, tell everybody you know. And if you don’t know anybody, then write to me.
Have a great week. Et este felix.
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