Budgie smugglers

Is it only me…but how can I be inspired when it is out of season. I know that like me, and despite my cynical intentions, you will have enjoyed watching people perform citius, altius, fortius, through the Olympic and Paralympic SportsFest. Indeed I would go further than enjoy. I have been inspired. And as the Olympic caravan packs up its Big Tent and moves on to Rio, I have taken to heart Mr Seb’s ambition and been inspired. I am the legacy. And now I aim for two or three early morning visits per week to my local swimming pool while on my way into my place of employment for a pre-dawn thrash up and down the pool thirty or so times with some very fit superannuated wrinklies. But I am being let down and Mr Seb’s legacy ambition is being thwarted not by the Two Caesar’s policies or by the age of austerity but by Marks and Spencer, my fashion retailer of choice. For to enable to me to perform at my peak and to optimise my performance just like Mr Hoy, Mr Farah and Ms Ennis, I need the right equipment, in my case a stylish, flattering and performance optimising pair of budgie smugglers. Or indeed anything suitable for my aquatic thrash. And so you can imagine my chagrin on enquiring in branch and even looking online to discover that, in the words of one of Twiggy’s little helpers, ‘this was not the right time for selling swimming trunks’. Now maybe it’s only me but it is the small details like that which will undermine Mr Seb’s legacy aspiration. How many people are going to wait until it is the right season before they can fulfil their inspiration? The momentum we have all paid billions to generate will be lost. Messrs Marks and Spencer should surely have anticipated a rush for athletic equipment post the games and strained every sinew to ensure that their shelves and stock cupboards were stuffed to overflowing with sporting clothing for every shape and size. And who says that swimming has a season anyway? It is clearly possible to swim throughout the year as indeed it is well and truly possible for folks to go away at any time of the year. It is not decreed anywhere as far as I know, and I don’t think even Europe has got round to standardising this yet, that you can only swim or even sell swimming gear in certain months. And I even think it possible that you can go on holiday to sunnier climes at any time of the year. Twiggy and her supermodel pals may be cavorting about on our TV screens dressed to the nines in M&S outfits but for me the lack of attention to detail being shown by their employers is seriously hampering my preparations for 2016. And it is bad business for them. If anyone knows where I can find a pair of budgie smugglers for the fashion conscious and athletic aspirant, please do tell. Have a great week. Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.

And the winner is...

Is it only me…but I don’t like to see good losers.

Like many of you, and despite my cynical reservations, I have been transfixed by the athletes at this summer’s Olympics and Paralympic Games. They have been magnificent, no matter what flag they have wrapped themselves in.

I was asked the other day what I thought of the tantrums and displays of bad losership being displayed by people like Mark Cavendish who blamed everyone but himself for his failure to win gold; Oscar Pistorius complaining that his legs (false) were too short when compared to the winner; and Jason Cundy who threw a real hissy fit just because he was disqualified and not allowed to re-start. I am sure there are other examples of bad sportsmanship on display through the sports fest but these were the most high profile examples.

Was this a case of the athletes believing the hype about them? Were they becoming as big headed and as ego driven as footballers? Was bad losing becoming endemic?

Now it might only be but I like a bad loser. In my book there is no such thing as a good loser-you are still a loser.

It infuriated me to see athletes coming 7th, 8th, last, coming up to the camera all smiles and laughs and telling us all they tried their best but it wasn’t good enough on the day but they have had a wonderful experience.
‘You might have had a wonderful day, love, but you are still a LOSER’, I scream at the TV, ‘is it any wonder you are 7th with that attitude?’

Losing should hurt. It should be the most pain you will ever experience outside child birth or wisdom tooth extraction without anaesthetic. Losing should sear itself across every fibre in your body. And it is the avoidance of pain that should drive you onto succeed.

And that is why I admire the likes of Cavendish, Pistorius and Cundy. They hate losing. They want to win. And that is what makes them ultimately successful.

They are no egotists. They are not big headed. They are not arrogant. They are winners. They are driven to succeed. They don’t take part to come 7th or 8th. They compete to be first. And I wish more of our (losing) athletes came across like them.

And remember this-there is no 'i' in team but there is in winner.

Have a great week. Win lots. Win strong.

Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.