Cicero’s comments over the past few weeks have led many of you to wonder and some of you to believe that Cicero is a big fan of the policies of the Two Caesars. A few have even made noises that Cicero might be a big fan of the Blue Caesar in particular.
Let the record be set straight.
Those of you with a classical training will be aware that Cicero is acutely suspicious of factionalism and the dangers inherent in supporting one faction over another. And so Cicero is strictly apolitical neither favouring nor condemning one faction over another.
Cicero does however have thoughts, views and opinions on a range of topics and issues and it is these that he is expressing through these words. Should these views coincide with the thoughts of the Blue or Yellow Caesar or even of the Last Lot, that is purely coincidental and is not meant to imply support for any of these factions.
It could well be of course that someone close to a current or past Caesar has read these words and saw they were good. Did you think of that?
Now last week Cicero spent some time in the company of a wise man and we talked choo choo trains and such was the import of our discussion that it seemed appropriate to share the conversation with you. Hopefully you will be inspired.
In any organisation think of the leader as the train driver up front setting the speed and the direction. And behind him (and not forgetting her) he is pulling three coaches, each one filled with members of the business or business unit.
The first coach is the modernisers coach filled with people who want the train to go faster, who are hungry for change and modernisation and don’t think it’s happening fast enough. This coach will usually contain about 20% of your people.
The next coach, which is crowded with about 70% of your people crammed into it, is filled with those who are happy with the status quo and the speed the business is currently going at. These are not reckless types and they can provide useful stability to those in the moderniser coach and while they will go along with train increasing speed a bit, if you go too fast they will start to feel sick and nauseous. And given they comprise the bulk of your people you can’t afford to have too many of them off sick or getting off at the first available opportunity.
The last coach and bringing up the rear is the remaining 10% of your team who not only want to apply brakes but also to engage reverse. Life was so much better 10 years ago for these people who constantly hark back to a golden age that in truth probably never existed. These must be exited or shaken about so much they fall into the second coach.
In which coach are you? In which coach are the members of your team? And at what speed do you drive the train?
Now while the modernisers want to drive the train at 100mph all the time this is way far too scary for those in the status quo coach who are happy with the business and the train being driven at 50mph. You can forget those in the braking coach for the purposes of this discussion. You need your modernisers for no business should stand still but you also need the status quo brigade.
And so your job when driving the train is to go so fast that you shake off those constantly seeking to apply reverse but neither too fast that you lose those in the second coach or too slow that you lose the modernisers. A neat trick to pull off but can we do it, of course we can.
Speeding up to round about 70mph and slowing down when you come to the bends will give those wanting a gentler pace of life to catch up and stay on board.
It used to be every boy’s dream to be a choo choo train driver. Now it is to appear on ‘X Factor’. But if you are a leader of a team or business, you are now driving the train. Dream fulfilled.
Is it only me......but it’s time for a lot of people to wake up and smell the coffee.
I am fed up and I am going to grumble. I know, I know, it’s so unlike me.
Every morning I wake up to a shrill of moans and groans from lobbyists and single issue whiners and moaners, annoyed about what the government of the day is doing or not doing for their cause and what it should be doing. A good early morning game to play is to count in any given time period how many spending commitments someone wants the government to make. Clearly this whining and moaning and raging has reached a crescendo in recent days and weeks as the Two Caesars and their cohorts decide how to re-prioritise the amount of our money the government spends on us and on our behalf.
And in the event that someone out there thinks of me as an apologist for the Two Caesars, I should point out that the single issue whiners and moaners were whining and moaning about the absence of government action, which is code for not spending enough, when the Last Lot were deciding how to spend our money.
Now I think it’s important that we all realise something and it falls upon yours truly to point this out to said whiners and moaners who need, especially in these straightened times, to wake up and smell the coffee.....we are broke. We are heading fast down Queer St. And we don’t even have a pot in which to pass bodily fluids.
Get it.
And let me point out one more thing, even though I know I am preaching to the converted on this, but everything we do as a country, everything the Two Caesars spends on us and all those services run by the Apparatchiks, comes from the money earned by the businesses in this country.
When a business makes a profit, it pays taxes. A profitable business will pay money away in dividends to its shareholders. And these shareholders will pay tax. A business that is successful will employ staff and take on more staff and their wages and salaries are taxed. And so on and so on.
Now do you get it? If we don’t have successful and profitable businesses in this country we will not have the spondooliks or sesterces to allow us to have the services and benefits provided by the Apparatchiks nor the standard of living we all want nor will we ever have the remotest chance of stop the early morning whining and moaning. It really is that simple.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
Subscribe To
Posts
All Comments
Friday 29 October 2010
Friday 22 October 2010
Pinball Wizard
Greetings and felicitations to one and all.
And as these words flow onto the paper in this corner of this green and pleasant land, winter is on its way, judging from the frost that needs to be scraped from the windscreens of the chariots up and down the via.
Many are now asking what Cicero has been doing since he left the warmth and comfort of the VTSSB, no doubt wondering whether the recent re-balancing of the State’s spending priorities are going to mean an especially bleak winter for Cicero.
Worry not, amici. Cicero is still in gainful employment.
And since he stopped being an Apparatchik, he has become a Marketing Luvvie, working with Creative Types dispensing wisdom and enlightenment and, quite frankly, marketing genius, to anyone willing to pay for said services. It might be said that, after toiling endlessly on your behalf to maintain the security and protection of the fine people of this land, Cicero has become a Marketing Mercenary. Now you know.
Of course you will still benefit from Cicero’s genius for free. And what a bargain you get.
And here is this week’s nugget of marketing genius.
Did you see any adverts on TV last night? And when you saw them, did you immediately jump from your chair and rush down the shops and buy the latest in toilet detergents, eyelash maximiser (whatever that might be) or mobile phone technology that seems to have the ability to make two people fall in love again.
Of course, you didn’t. Advertising doesn’t work like that. Although Cicero was tempted to give his eyelashes a boost. And yet too often Chief Bean Counters expect investment in advertising to behave exactly like that. Get real. And surely you of all people that marketing does not work quite that.
Indeed there may be quite a disconnect between your marketing being consumed and the point at which the consumer decides to get off the pot and buy your brand and in that time he or she, if we are still talking about eyelash maximisers, may well have seen more of your well crafted and well honed marketing communications. But that does not mean any of it is wasted. And beware the tyranny of believing that it was the last piece of marketing that was seen that drove the sale. Again the human brain does not work in such a structured way.
Instead we should come to think, and we should work to persuade our Chief Bean Counters to see, that our marketing activity slowly and imperceptibly nudges the consumer towards buying your brand. And when he, or she, is ready and when they decide it’s time to enter the market, it is the cumulative effect over time of all the nudges through all communication channels that gets your brand top of the mind in the filing cabinet that is the mind of our consumer.
And that, mei amice, is what marketing is all about, no matter what the Bean Counters might think.
And so, just like the Pinball Wizard in that iconic musical ‘Tommy’, use your nudges with care to deliver marketing that is highly effective. Reading these words may not make you a Pinball Wizard but we can help you become a Marketing Wizard.
Is it only me.......but I am not a criminal
It rather annoys me when supporters of the Two Caesars the media and other so called economic and financial commentators, who quite frankly ought to know better, lump tax avoidance and tax evasion together and threaten dire retribution on tax avoiders and tax evaders. It is even said that tax avoiders are as bad as benefit cheats.
For the avoidance of doubt, tax avoidance is perfectly legal. Tax evasion is not and nor is benefit cheating. Therefore anyone who so arranges their finances to minimise the size of their tax bill is only doing the right, sensible and sane thing. Why would anyone in their right mind want to hand over any more of their hard earned sesterces to the tax collector than is strictly necessary, especially when you know that much of what you hand over will be squandered?
Anyone who has an ISA is guilty of tax avoidance. Or has a pension. Or who does a salary sacrifice. So before anyone gets onto their moral high horse on this one and become sclerotic with fiscal policy rage, let he (or she) who is without sin, throw the first stone. Methinks we might be waiting rather a long time for the first stone to be thrown.
Now it might only be me but perhaps we should stop using the term ‘tax avoidance’ with all its pejorative connotations. Maybe the term tax efficiency should be used instead. And Cicero for one will do all in his power, which admittedly is not saying much, to continue to make his tax bill as efficient as possible. Cicero is not a criminal.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
And as these words flow onto the paper in this corner of this green and pleasant land, winter is on its way, judging from the frost that needs to be scraped from the windscreens of the chariots up and down the via.
Many are now asking what Cicero has been doing since he left the warmth and comfort of the VTSSB, no doubt wondering whether the recent re-balancing of the State’s spending priorities are going to mean an especially bleak winter for Cicero.
Worry not, amici. Cicero is still in gainful employment.
And since he stopped being an Apparatchik, he has become a Marketing Luvvie, working with Creative Types dispensing wisdom and enlightenment and, quite frankly, marketing genius, to anyone willing to pay for said services. It might be said that, after toiling endlessly on your behalf to maintain the security and protection of the fine people of this land, Cicero has become a Marketing Mercenary. Now you know.
Of course you will still benefit from Cicero’s genius for free. And what a bargain you get.
And here is this week’s nugget of marketing genius.
Did you see any adverts on TV last night? And when you saw them, did you immediately jump from your chair and rush down the shops and buy the latest in toilet detergents, eyelash maximiser (whatever that might be) or mobile phone technology that seems to have the ability to make two people fall in love again.
Of course, you didn’t. Advertising doesn’t work like that. Although Cicero was tempted to give his eyelashes a boost. And yet too often Chief Bean Counters expect investment in advertising to behave exactly like that. Get real. And surely you of all people that marketing does not work quite that.
Indeed there may be quite a disconnect between your marketing being consumed and the point at which the consumer decides to get off the pot and buy your brand and in that time he or she, if we are still talking about eyelash maximisers, may well have seen more of your well crafted and well honed marketing communications. But that does not mean any of it is wasted. And beware the tyranny of believing that it was the last piece of marketing that was seen that drove the sale. Again the human brain does not work in such a structured way.
Instead we should come to think, and we should work to persuade our Chief Bean Counters to see, that our marketing activity slowly and imperceptibly nudges the consumer towards buying your brand. And when he, or she, is ready and when they decide it’s time to enter the market, it is the cumulative effect over time of all the nudges through all communication channels that gets your brand top of the mind in the filing cabinet that is the mind of our consumer.
And that, mei amice, is what marketing is all about, no matter what the Bean Counters might think.
And so, just like the Pinball Wizard in that iconic musical ‘Tommy’, use your nudges with care to deliver marketing that is highly effective. Reading these words may not make you a Pinball Wizard but we can help you become a Marketing Wizard.
Is it only me.......but I am not a criminal
It rather annoys me when supporters of the Two Caesars the media and other so called economic and financial commentators, who quite frankly ought to know better, lump tax avoidance and tax evasion together and threaten dire retribution on tax avoiders and tax evaders. It is even said that tax avoiders are as bad as benefit cheats.
For the avoidance of doubt, tax avoidance is perfectly legal. Tax evasion is not and nor is benefit cheating. Therefore anyone who so arranges their finances to minimise the size of their tax bill is only doing the right, sensible and sane thing. Why would anyone in their right mind want to hand over any more of their hard earned sesterces to the tax collector than is strictly necessary, especially when you know that much of what you hand over will be squandered?
Anyone who has an ISA is guilty of tax avoidance. Or has a pension. Or who does a salary sacrifice. So before anyone gets onto their moral high horse on this one and become sclerotic with fiscal policy rage, let he (or she) who is without sin, throw the first stone. Methinks we might be waiting rather a long time for the first stone to be thrown.
Now it might only be me but perhaps we should stop using the term ‘tax avoidance’ with all its pejorative connotations. Maybe the term tax efficiency should be used instead. And Cicero for one will do all in his power, which admittedly is not saying much, to continue to make his tax bill as efficient as possible. Cicero is not a criminal.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
Friday 15 October 2010
Are you talking to me?
As you know Cicero is not at all political and normally eschews making political comment lest he be seen as partisan. But this week he is going to break this habit and policy. Sorry to all who come here expecting a politics free zone of calm meditative thought.
But Lord Browne is wrong. A university education should be fully funded by us taxpayers. End of. A university education offers great potential to transform lives and a great opportunity to deliver a well balanced society. And as taxpayers we should be investing this. Given all the other stuff we as tax papers invest in which are nowhere near as liberating for individuals, why are we even debating how much students should be paying?
If we are prepared to invest in keeping people in dependency, why are we not investing in giving people the means to make more of their lives?
And if, as will be the case, we have issues with the affordability of going down this route, the answer is equally clear. We should be paying for fewer but better graduates and universities. It does not say in the Declaration of Human Rights that everyone has the right to go to university, does it? No.
But we say that all, regardless of race, gender, creed or size of wallet, should have the opportunity to get there. And should anyone fail to seize that opportunity then tough. You are not good enough. Get over it. But if you are good enough, you can be assured that Cicero will willingly share sesterces with you to allow you to get a truly great university education. For free.
Think again, Lord Browne.
And now normal service will be resumed.........
Imagine if someone you worked with failed to remember your name or called you by someone else’s name, or got some information about you that you would expect them to know about you, wrong. How would you feel? Probably not very valued or respected.
And yet every day that is exactly what brands do to their customers. And no matter how much we try to endow with human characteristics such as personality and tone of voice, brands can still come across as impersonal, faceless and anonymous. Just who exactly are they talking to?
A few months back Cicero received from his local chariot dealer a letter offering a summer holiday service check to ensure ‘you were not stuck in the car on the way to your hard earned holiday with the kids screaming in the back’.
Great idea. Great proposition.
Somewhat spoiled by addressing it ‘dear customer’ even though all customer details were on the system and were used to address the letter.
And what is the point of talking about ‘kids screaming in the back’ if, as in this case, there are no kids to scream in the back.
How well does this business really know and understand its customers? How much does it show it recognises its customers? Is this the sort of business that puts the customer at the heart of its marketing?
Now is the time for us as Marketing Grand Fromages to think about ‘brand personalisation’.
The more businesses can personalise their brand the more it can meet the consumer need of ‘, recognise me, know me, understand me’. And all of us like dealing with brands and people that know and understand us. We trust people and brands which can deliver against this promise.
And how do you personalise a brand?
Think 4 Ds-Data, Decisioning, Digital, Direct.
In other words let the data and insight held on your customers inform your digital and direct marketing strategies, creative and messaging. Of course it should go way beyond this with the data informing all touch points on how to feel and look and sound personalised to the consumer but let’s face it getting the direct and digital messaging coming across as personalised would be a huge step in the right direction.
Data from or about the brand’s customers informs the insight that drives the decisioning that allows you to make your brand feel personal and alive to your customers across as many touch points as you can and lets the brand demonstrate the deep understanding that earns customer trust, making it more responsive to changes in customer behaviour, more relevant to customers’ individual needs and more rewarding in the way it treat its customers.
And customers will repay by buying more, staying longer and introducing others over time. Or, to put it more simply, will drive the bottom line.
Seize the chance, fellow Marketing Grand Fromages, rise to the opportunity and make your brand relevant to market of one. It can be done. Think 4 Ds and don’t be a D for Dumbo.
Is it only me......but does anyone else care that we are losing skills?
Walk down any High St these days and you will be hard pressed to find a thatcher, a cooper or a blacksmith. And yet a hundred years ago these traditional skills would have been in plentiful supply in towns and villages across this green and pleasant land. No longer. These skills have gone and once gone they are gone forever as there is no one around to pass down ancient skills like these to a new generation.
And if we are not careful and take action now, a host of skills that many of us take for granted will also be lost.
Take the simple task of basic arithmetic. With the advent of pocket calculators young people these days are rapidly losing the ability to add, subtract, divide and multiply, whether on paper or in their head.
We are similarly losing the skill to map read and navigate, something at which the males of the species are especially adept at, relative to distaffs. Nowadays we just jump in car and just ‘sat nav’ the way to our destination. And should the ‘sat nav’ be left on the kitchen table or pack in, well, quite frankly and quite literally, we are lost.
We no longer know how to use encyclopaedia and other interesting fascinating books to find out what we need to know, instead we choose to ‘Google’ or, and this is even worse, ‘Wikipedia’ the information we need to know.
In passing, it is interesting to note that we are not only losing skills that people like me take for granted but we also are creating new verbs in the process as we have just demonstrated.
And finally we should be worried about the long term cognitive development of our society caused by mobile phones, iPhones and the like. Have you noticed how few telephone numbers we all now remember? When we were lads and lassies we could ream off the phone numbers, birthdays and house address including postcode of all our friends and relations, many of which we can probably still remember to this day. Nowadays we rely almost entirely on the memory banks of our mobile gizmos rather than our own. What will this do to our brain power going forward? We should set up a medical study now before it’s too late.
Now it might only be me but I find this all very worrying but, given that we can’t put toothpaste back in the tube and stop the onward march of technology and progress, I don’t really know what to do about it. I just thought you should know-a problem shared and all that.
Anyone got any suggestions?
And on that depressing note, have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
But Lord Browne is wrong. A university education should be fully funded by us taxpayers. End of. A university education offers great potential to transform lives and a great opportunity to deliver a well balanced society. And as taxpayers we should be investing this. Given all the other stuff we as tax papers invest in which are nowhere near as liberating for individuals, why are we even debating how much students should be paying?
If we are prepared to invest in keeping people in dependency, why are we not investing in giving people the means to make more of their lives?
And if, as will be the case, we have issues with the affordability of going down this route, the answer is equally clear. We should be paying for fewer but better graduates and universities. It does not say in the Declaration of Human Rights that everyone has the right to go to university, does it? No.
But we say that all, regardless of race, gender, creed or size of wallet, should have the opportunity to get there. And should anyone fail to seize that opportunity then tough. You are not good enough. Get over it. But if you are good enough, you can be assured that Cicero will willingly share sesterces with you to allow you to get a truly great university education. For free.
Think again, Lord Browne.
And now normal service will be resumed.........
Imagine if someone you worked with failed to remember your name or called you by someone else’s name, or got some information about you that you would expect them to know about you, wrong. How would you feel? Probably not very valued or respected.
And yet every day that is exactly what brands do to their customers. And no matter how much we try to endow with human characteristics such as personality and tone of voice, brands can still come across as impersonal, faceless and anonymous. Just who exactly are they talking to?
A few months back Cicero received from his local chariot dealer a letter offering a summer holiday service check to ensure ‘you were not stuck in the car on the way to your hard earned holiday with the kids screaming in the back’.
Great idea. Great proposition.
Somewhat spoiled by addressing it ‘dear customer’ even though all customer details were on the system and were used to address the letter.
And what is the point of talking about ‘kids screaming in the back’ if, as in this case, there are no kids to scream in the back.
How well does this business really know and understand its customers? How much does it show it recognises its customers? Is this the sort of business that puts the customer at the heart of its marketing?
Now is the time for us as Marketing Grand Fromages to think about ‘brand personalisation’.
The more businesses can personalise their brand the more it can meet the consumer need of ‘, recognise me, know me, understand me’. And all of us like dealing with brands and people that know and understand us. We trust people and brands which can deliver against this promise.
And how do you personalise a brand?
Think 4 Ds-Data, Decisioning, Digital, Direct.
In other words let the data and insight held on your customers inform your digital and direct marketing strategies, creative and messaging. Of course it should go way beyond this with the data informing all touch points on how to feel and look and sound personalised to the consumer but let’s face it getting the direct and digital messaging coming across as personalised would be a huge step in the right direction.
Data from or about the brand’s customers informs the insight that drives the decisioning that allows you to make your brand feel personal and alive to your customers across as many touch points as you can and lets the brand demonstrate the deep understanding that earns customer trust, making it more responsive to changes in customer behaviour, more relevant to customers’ individual needs and more rewarding in the way it treat its customers.
And customers will repay by buying more, staying longer and introducing others over time. Or, to put it more simply, will drive the bottom line.
Seize the chance, fellow Marketing Grand Fromages, rise to the opportunity and make your brand relevant to market of one. It can be done. Think 4 Ds and don’t be a D for Dumbo.
Is it only me......but does anyone else care that we are losing skills?
Walk down any High St these days and you will be hard pressed to find a thatcher, a cooper or a blacksmith. And yet a hundred years ago these traditional skills would have been in plentiful supply in towns and villages across this green and pleasant land. No longer. These skills have gone and once gone they are gone forever as there is no one around to pass down ancient skills like these to a new generation.
And if we are not careful and take action now, a host of skills that many of us take for granted will also be lost.
Take the simple task of basic arithmetic. With the advent of pocket calculators young people these days are rapidly losing the ability to add, subtract, divide and multiply, whether on paper or in their head.
We are similarly losing the skill to map read and navigate, something at which the males of the species are especially adept at, relative to distaffs. Nowadays we just jump in car and just ‘sat nav’ the way to our destination. And should the ‘sat nav’ be left on the kitchen table or pack in, well, quite frankly and quite literally, we are lost.
We no longer know how to use encyclopaedia and other interesting fascinating books to find out what we need to know, instead we choose to ‘Google’ or, and this is even worse, ‘Wikipedia’ the information we need to know.
In passing, it is interesting to note that we are not only losing skills that people like me take for granted but we also are creating new verbs in the process as we have just demonstrated.
And finally we should be worried about the long term cognitive development of our society caused by mobile phones, iPhones and the like. Have you noticed how few telephone numbers we all now remember? When we were lads and lassies we could ream off the phone numbers, birthdays and house address including postcode of all our friends and relations, many of which we can probably still remember to this day. Nowadays we rely almost entirely on the memory banks of our mobile gizmos rather than our own. What will this do to our brain power going forward? We should set up a medical study now before it’s too late.
Now it might only be me but I find this all very worrying but, given that we can’t put toothpaste back in the tube and stop the onward march of technology and progress, I don’t really know what to do about it. I just thought you should know-a problem shared and all that.
Anyone got any suggestions?
And on that depressing note, have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
Friday 8 October 2010
Film Noir
Salvete, amici.
Great to see you back again.
And in response to a question asked last week-no, Cicero does not know everything and that is why you will never read thinking on topics as unexciting, uninteresting and unnecessary as finance, operations or even audit and risk. Instead you will read about those issues that contribute to business growth-people and customers. But it is pleasing that some people think Cicero does know everything.
Now here’s a question to get you started this week-would you rather go to a film or a meeting at work? If you voted that you would rather attend a meeting at work, there is every likelihood that you are on your own. Or if not on own, at least you are in a very small minority.
Now why might that be?
If you think about it, films and meetings have an awfully lot in common and some key differences.
Each will last for about 90 minutes. And each will contain a cast of varied and interesting characters.
And yet meetings are interactive, unlike films-you can’t shout at the actor on the screen and expect the actor to pay attention. And more importantly films have no real impact on our lives. In any meeting we get to have our say and the outcome of any given discussion can have and should have a very real impact on our working and business lives. Agreed?
So meetings are actually more engaging and more relevant, yet why do we hate meetings so?
Probably because they’re boring. And why might they be boring? What stops all films becoming boring? What is the key ingredient that all great films have that boring meetings lack? Anyone know?
Drum roll.............
Conflict. Name a great film that lacks conflict whether it be physical conflict, emotional conflict or conflict of conscience or any other kind of conflict.
Too often meetings, and by extension teams, avoid conflict. They avoid real discussion and debate. As a result they are boring but more damaging is that the team has artificial harmony so no one gets upset but in reality no decisions get made. Great teams engage in productive, ideological conflict and debate. It is its ability to engage in passionate unfiltered debate that sets it apart. Not everyone has to agree but they have to feel they had their chance to say something. And when the arguing is over great teams agree and all commit to it.
It’s easy peasy to build and lead great teams. All you need to do is go to the movies.
Is it only me.....but the EU needs to get off its high horse and drink up its milk.
Those of you who know me can easily tell from my shape that I love chocolate. Indeed I love anything sweet. To ask if I have a sweet tooth is akin to asking the Dalai Lama if the Pope is catholic. I love chocolate. I adore the brown stuff. I can consume so many thick slabs of it in one go that I risk a diabetic coma. Yes, I like chocolate and Cadbury’s especially.
And now it seems that Cadbury’s has fallen out of favour with the unelected Apparatchiks in Brussels and it is time for all chocoholics to man the barricades in defence, yes of Cadburys choccie bars, but more importantly to defend common sense from more Apparatchik nonsense.
For it is now illegal for Cadburys to refer to a ‘glass and a half’ as a key ingredient in its Dairy Milk bars, the Rolls Royce of choccie bars. According to Monsieur Jobsworth and Herr Nitpick such descriptions contravene European regulations. Instead Cadburys must now say that its Dairy Milk bars contain ‘the equivalent of 426ml of fresh liquid milk in every 227g of milk chocolate". Now that really does trip off the tongue.
And no I am not kidding. And nor is it April 1st.
Yes, difficult as it is to believe, some nameless and faceless Euro-Apparatchik did in recent days decide without a shred of humour or a soupcon of common sense that Cadburys must change their strap line. And do you know what is worse, as this proposal no doubt trundled its way up and down and along and down and up the corridors of power across Europe, no one, not one person, no monsieur, herren or senorita, thought this was a dumb idea and should be stopped.
Now it might only be me, and this time I doubt it is, but this is surely what happens when we let Apparatchiks run the asylum. I don’t know about taking action to re-claim the streets but I do want to re-claim my sweets from the evil clutches of the Apparatchiks of Europe, or even our own home-grown ones.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
Great to see you back again.
And in response to a question asked last week-no, Cicero does not know everything and that is why you will never read thinking on topics as unexciting, uninteresting and unnecessary as finance, operations or even audit and risk. Instead you will read about those issues that contribute to business growth-people and customers. But it is pleasing that some people think Cicero does know everything.
Now here’s a question to get you started this week-would you rather go to a film or a meeting at work? If you voted that you would rather attend a meeting at work, there is every likelihood that you are on your own. Or if not on own, at least you are in a very small minority.
Now why might that be?
If you think about it, films and meetings have an awfully lot in common and some key differences.
Each will last for about 90 minutes. And each will contain a cast of varied and interesting characters.
And yet meetings are interactive, unlike films-you can’t shout at the actor on the screen and expect the actor to pay attention. And more importantly films have no real impact on our lives. In any meeting we get to have our say and the outcome of any given discussion can have and should have a very real impact on our working and business lives. Agreed?
So meetings are actually more engaging and more relevant, yet why do we hate meetings so?
Probably because they’re boring. And why might they be boring? What stops all films becoming boring? What is the key ingredient that all great films have that boring meetings lack? Anyone know?
Drum roll.............
Conflict. Name a great film that lacks conflict whether it be physical conflict, emotional conflict or conflict of conscience or any other kind of conflict.
Too often meetings, and by extension teams, avoid conflict. They avoid real discussion and debate. As a result they are boring but more damaging is that the team has artificial harmony so no one gets upset but in reality no decisions get made. Great teams engage in productive, ideological conflict and debate. It is its ability to engage in passionate unfiltered debate that sets it apart. Not everyone has to agree but they have to feel they had their chance to say something. And when the arguing is over great teams agree and all commit to it.
It’s easy peasy to build and lead great teams. All you need to do is go to the movies.
Is it only me.....but the EU needs to get off its high horse and drink up its milk.
Those of you who know me can easily tell from my shape that I love chocolate. Indeed I love anything sweet. To ask if I have a sweet tooth is akin to asking the Dalai Lama if the Pope is catholic. I love chocolate. I adore the brown stuff. I can consume so many thick slabs of it in one go that I risk a diabetic coma. Yes, I like chocolate and Cadbury’s especially.
And now it seems that Cadbury’s has fallen out of favour with the unelected Apparatchiks in Brussels and it is time for all chocoholics to man the barricades in defence, yes of Cadburys choccie bars, but more importantly to defend common sense from more Apparatchik nonsense.
For it is now illegal for Cadburys to refer to a ‘glass and a half’ as a key ingredient in its Dairy Milk bars, the Rolls Royce of choccie bars. According to Monsieur Jobsworth and Herr Nitpick such descriptions contravene European regulations. Instead Cadburys must now say that its Dairy Milk bars contain ‘the equivalent of 426ml of fresh liquid milk in every 227g of milk chocolate". Now that really does trip off the tongue.
And no I am not kidding. And nor is it April 1st.
Yes, difficult as it is to believe, some nameless and faceless Euro-Apparatchik did in recent days decide without a shred of humour or a soupcon of common sense that Cadburys must change their strap line. And do you know what is worse, as this proposal no doubt trundled its way up and down and along and down and up the corridors of power across Europe, no one, not one person, no monsieur, herren or senorita, thought this was a dumb idea and should be stopped.
Now it might only be me, and this time I doubt it is, but this is surely what happens when we let Apparatchiks run the asylum. I don’t know about taking action to re-claim the streets but I do want to re-claim my sweets from the evil clutches of the Apparatchiks of Europe, or even our own home-grown ones.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
Friday 1 October 2010
Excuse me, is this seat taken?
Salute.
Now it seems that we are upsetting people by coming across as too political. Ok, let’s see if this works better for you all, regardless of gender, creed or political hue. There is just no pleasing some folks.
In discussion this week with some younger colleagues it became readily apparent that when entering a room to join a meeting, not much attention was being paid to the seating arrangements. How wrong can people be? And when Cicero started to expound on his theories on where to sit, mouths fell agape in shock and awe. And so this week’s words were born.
Remember the marketing maxim, everything communicates.
And even in meetings this maxim holds true. Even the place where you park your gluteus maximus communicates. Now read on to find out how you can improve your communication and influencing skills and learn from a master communicator. They say you should choose your words carefully. The same goes for your seat. Choose your seat with care. It is the road to power and influence in the meeting.
Clearly the leader, whether de jure or de factor, sits at the head of the table and wherever he or she sits, that is the head of the table. But where should everyone else sit? Where should you sit if you are not the leader?
Theory suggests that when a group sits around a table the person sitting on the leader's right will generally be the most loyal and aligned to the leader's thinking and wishes. A (likely) mythical origin is said to be that in Roman times a leader would place their most loyal supporter to their right because this was the most advantageous position from which to attempt an assassination by stabbing (given that most people then as now were right-handed). Assassination at least by stabbing is rare in modern work meetings but you can never be too careful.
In any event those who group around the top of the table whether to the left or right will usually be those who have sited themselves there to support the leader. Is this where you want to sit? Is this how you want to exert influence? Do you want to be seen as a brown nose?
Alternatively the seat directly opposite from the leader can be a great source of alternative power and influence. This is the alter leader space and from this position you can directly maintain eye contact with the leader and those around the table. This is a great place to sit and is usually the chosen position of the backside of yours truly. From here we can agitate, thought provoke and stimulate constructive healthy discussion and debate. This is the seat of the persistent devil’s advocate and end-of-the-table folks are usually the most active participants in the room.
The last place to choose to sit is round the side. From here it can be difficult to exert influence and power. Difficult to engage with those in the room. Tricky to assert your point of view. Avoid with dexterity unless of course you have the force of personality to turn a seat to the side to become the head of the table, the seat of power, the source of influence. It can be done but is down to you.
And one final tip for you-when someone is speaking, and no matter how much they might be droning on and on and on, every now and again nod your head to at least give the impression you are listening intently. The effect of this apparently small gesture will be massive. At a stroke the speaker will engage with you, and he, or she, mindful as we are that women are now a significant factor in leadership positions, will build and maintain eye contact with you, ignoring all other attendees to give you their full and undivided attention. You in their eyes are now the leader in the group and such will be the group dynamic that others too will see you in this position. This trick works every time.
And so, dear friends, we end this week’s lesson. And hopefully you will start to consider that where you park it can be as important as the ideas and questions you bring to the table. And just like educationalists who think they can show that where you sit in class can affect your grades, and in this particular case that might explain a lot, so where you sit in meetings can affect your career.
As we have said before, everything communicates. Even your bum. And no this is not what we mean by the phrase ‘talking out of your backside’. Thought it best to clarify.
Is it only me........
In a serious effort to keep the body toned and fit and now that Cicero has more discretionary time than previously, two to three times a week before work and just as the sun is rising, Cicero will make a visit to his local baths for a swim. This is a great pleasure and recommended to all. This truly is a great way to start the day.
Much to Cicero’s surprise however even at that time of the day he does not have the pool to himself and as he ploughs up and down the water filled lanes he has to take great care to avoid others similarly intent on following a fat reducing, fitness inducing lifestyle. For believe or not even at that time of the day, with the sun barely above the tree tops and the dawn chorus just warming up, a great crowd of swimmers is out and about before they head into their shops, offices and VTTSBs to earn their daily crust.
Or at least most of them are.
For a significant majority of this swimming community have quite clearly no work to head towards, given the amount of wrinkles on their skin and the elastication in their trousers, always a dead give away of age. For these people have retired and as a result have all day to enjoy their leisurely lifestyle. So why, oh why, do they insist on clogging up the water ways, and other civic amenities no doubt, at the same time as wage slaves like Cicero and no doubt you. Unlike superannuated wrinklies, who are no doubt enjoying these facilities at some reduced rate thanks to taxpayer funded largess, salatariat members have few options when they can attend and it irks that capacity is reduced somewhat by people with the time to attend at other times of the day.
Now it might only be me, and it would not be the first time that it was, but surely it is not beyond the wit of highly expensive and obscenely over paid local council quangocrats to put in place a system that restricts usage at peak times to full payers and not those whose presence is subsidised? That way we all might get more enjoyment and space to enjoy our splashing and paddling around.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
Now it seems that we are upsetting people by coming across as too political. Ok, let’s see if this works better for you all, regardless of gender, creed or political hue. There is just no pleasing some folks.
In discussion this week with some younger colleagues it became readily apparent that when entering a room to join a meeting, not much attention was being paid to the seating arrangements. How wrong can people be? And when Cicero started to expound on his theories on where to sit, mouths fell agape in shock and awe. And so this week’s words were born.
Remember the marketing maxim, everything communicates.
And even in meetings this maxim holds true. Even the place where you park your gluteus maximus communicates. Now read on to find out how you can improve your communication and influencing skills and learn from a master communicator. They say you should choose your words carefully. The same goes for your seat. Choose your seat with care. It is the road to power and influence in the meeting.
Clearly the leader, whether de jure or de factor, sits at the head of the table and wherever he or she sits, that is the head of the table. But where should everyone else sit? Where should you sit if you are not the leader?
Theory suggests that when a group sits around a table the person sitting on the leader's right will generally be the most loyal and aligned to the leader's thinking and wishes. A (likely) mythical origin is said to be that in Roman times a leader would place their most loyal supporter to their right because this was the most advantageous position from which to attempt an assassination by stabbing (given that most people then as now were right-handed). Assassination at least by stabbing is rare in modern work meetings but you can never be too careful.
In any event those who group around the top of the table whether to the left or right will usually be those who have sited themselves there to support the leader. Is this where you want to sit? Is this how you want to exert influence? Do you want to be seen as a brown nose?
Alternatively the seat directly opposite from the leader can be a great source of alternative power and influence. This is the alter leader space and from this position you can directly maintain eye contact with the leader and those around the table. This is a great place to sit and is usually the chosen position of the backside of yours truly. From here we can agitate, thought provoke and stimulate constructive healthy discussion and debate. This is the seat of the persistent devil’s advocate and end-of-the-table folks are usually the most active participants in the room.
The last place to choose to sit is round the side. From here it can be difficult to exert influence and power. Difficult to engage with those in the room. Tricky to assert your point of view. Avoid with dexterity unless of course you have the force of personality to turn a seat to the side to become the head of the table, the seat of power, the source of influence. It can be done but is down to you.
And one final tip for you-when someone is speaking, and no matter how much they might be droning on and on and on, every now and again nod your head to at least give the impression you are listening intently. The effect of this apparently small gesture will be massive. At a stroke the speaker will engage with you, and he, or she, mindful as we are that women are now a significant factor in leadership positions, will build and maintain eye contact with you, ignoring all other attendees to give you their full and undivided attention. You in their eyes are now the leader in the group and such will be the group dynamic that others too will see you in this position. This trick works every time.
And so, dear friends, we end this week’s lesson. And hopefully you will start to consider that where you park it can be as important as the ideas and questions you bring to the table. And just like educationalists who think they can show that where you sit in class can affect your grades, and in this particular case that might explain a lot, so where you sit in meetings can affect your career.
As we have said before, everything communicates. Even your bum. And no this is not what we mean by the phrase ‘talking out of your backside’. Thought it best to clarify.
Is it only me........
In a serious effort to keep the body toned and fit and now that Cicero has more discretionary time than previously, two to three times a week before work and just as the sun is rising, Cicero will make a visit to his local baths for a swim. This is a great pleasure and recommended to all. This truly is a great way to start the day.
Much to Cicero’s surprise however even at that time of the day he does not have the pool to himself and as he ploughs up and down the water filled lanes he has to take great care to avoid others similarly intent on following a fat reducing, fitness inducing lifestyle. For believe or not even at that time of the day, with the sun barely above the tree tops and the dawn chorus just warming up, a great crowd of swimmers is out and about before they head into their shops, offices and VTTSBs to earn their daily crust.
Or at least most of them are.
For a significant majority of this swimming community have quite clearly no work to head towards, given the amount of wrinkles on their skin and the elastication in their trousers, always a dead give away of age. For these people have retired and as a result have all day to enjoy their leisurely lifestyle. So why, oh why, do they insist on clogging up the water ways, and other civic amenities no doubt, at the same time as wage slaves like Cicero and no doubt you. Unlike superannuated wrinklies, who are no doubt enjoying these facilities at some reduced rate thanks to taxpayer funded largess, salatariat members have few options when they can attend and it irks that capacity is reduced somewhat by people with the time to attend at other times of the day.
Now it might only be me, and it would not be the first time that it was, but surely it is not beyond the wit of highly expensive and obscenely over paid local council quangocrats to put in place a system that restricts usage at peak times to full payers and not those whose presence is subsidised? That way we all might get more enjoyment and space to enjoy our splashing and paddling around.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)