As we hurtle headlong into choosing a new Caesar for the country, and by this time next week (dependent on when you read this) we will know which Caesar we have chosen, work continues apace in the VTSSB to ensure that the administration can swiftly pick up the reins and ensure the ongoing protection, safety and security of its people. It’s an impressive effort by the State and us apparatchiks. No matter which Caesar we pick the apparatchiks will be ready and poised to execute the will of the populus. Isn’t democracy wonderful?
And please note Cicero’s studied and seeming indifference to the choice of Caesar. He has truly morphed into a State Apparatchik.
For those of you with a tendency to point out Cicero’s failure to use proper grammar and spelling when publishing these humble words, it should be pointed out that Cicero is writing in a language which is not his mater’s tongue and using technology with which he is totally unfamiliar. If you are familiar with his previous works such as De Re Publica, Philippicae or even De Legibus (though not one of his best works) you will be aware that Cicero’s grammar is always polished and poised and his spelling immaculate. Sadly in this day and age he lacks a amanuensis to quality assure the words before they are published…….but if anyone knows of someone wiling to do the job, please do get in touch. You know how.
And in meantime Cicero will try to pay more attention not just to what is said but how it is written. Hopefully this will help you if you are paying more attention to presentation than content.
In 1940 following Britain’s retreat from France, the country had its back to the wall. Equipment was in short supply. And there was a dreadful shortage of manpower. And so the British Army in a drive to improve the efficiency of its troops undertook a review of its operations and activities to see how it could be made more efficient, how it could do more for less. Sound familiar?
In the Royal Artillery it found that every gun came with a team of five gunners to load and fire it. And yet on review and having checked and re-checked their maths and sums and calculations the Army decided that the gun could be fired with four men, an instant saving of 20% if Cicero’s maths are correct. If not there will be someone out there with a more recent qualification in maths who will put us right.
Back to the guns.
There was now a surplus man. Sure he was busy. He was not doing nothing. But he was not critical to the firing of the gun. The gun could be fired without him. Not sure what he was doing. He might have been responsible for doing the washing up or doing manicures and pedicures or giving a massage but you will agree that none of this is critical to lobbying a shell a significant distance.
On investigation it was discovered that it was the job of this man to hold onto the horses so they were not frightened and bolt when the gun was fired. And of course by this time guns were no longer pulled by horses but no one had thought to tell this gunner who just found something else to do.
Sounds obvious, doesn’t it?
But how many times in our business and with our teams do we just seek to add incremental improvements to a process or just continue on doing things because that is way we have always done things without ever questioning whether the original purpose is still relevant. How many people do we have holding the horses in our business?
A week or so ago Cicero sat with some people wondering how something developed over 100 years ago could be improved. As the suggestions were flying in thick and fast, one bright spark asked not whether it needed improving but whether the thing still needed to be done in the first place. Would we invent it today if it did not exist? Great question and one that stumped everyone. Maybe we were still holding the horses.
And the great thing about this thinking is that is works as well for the big things as the small things. Sure it can help us decide if that business or product or key process is still necessary. But thinking like the gunners will help us deicide if that regular meeting we have which was urgent and necessary once upon a time is still required. And what about that report you churn out once a month to stop an issue that was critical an age ago. And what about that thing we ask our customers to do because we could not do it any other way at the time.
Let me give you an example. Do you know why you get told forcibly by some State Apparatchik on a form to write in black biro? It is not just to be officious, though there is that, but because once upon a time copiers could only copy black ink. No longer. But nobody has told the man designing the form who is still holding the horses. And so we get bossed about.
And so ask not how to improve things but ask instead whether or not the job still needs to be done in way it always has. Don’t look for the incremental but seek out the radical. And make sure you are not the one left holding the horses.
Is it only me……….but you would think that smokers might have the message by now.
As you know Cicero commutes vast distances every day to and from his VTTSB to ensure that you and your kith and kin might go about your business secure and protected. And every day somebody from somewhere on the train announces that it is verboten to smoke on this train. This of course seems to suggest that there are some trains on which you are not verboten to self asphyxiate which as we know is not the case as our nanny state has decreed that smoking is verboten everywhere there are other humans.
But we are digressing again………
Every day, on every journey and after every stop concentration and focus is disturbed, sleep broken and music interrupted while we listen to these pronouncements. Cicero reckons that he must hear these verbotens up to 12 times a day. Surely those have decided to turn their lungs into kippers have got the message now. Surely you must now understand that society has decreed that you are not wanted and that you must only exercise your habit behind closed doors and drawn curtains and only if no one else is present. Can you not take the hint? Do you really need to be reminded on every train journey that you are not wanted?
Silence is a wonderful and rare thing. If you cannot improve on silence then don’t try to. So stop telling me that smoking is verboten. This does not improve on silence.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
Subscribe To
Posts
All Comments
Friday 30 April 2010
Monday 26 April 2010
Look into my eyes
Ave, amici.
And should you be reading this in some far flung airport lounge or executive suite in some swanky hotel still stranded far from home and loved ones while a thick blanket of volcanic ash smothers this green and pleasant land, hopefully you will find comfort and solace in these few humble words.
Hopefully you will be on your way back soon now we have at last seized back control from the eco-mentalists and Health and Safety Gauleiters who seem to be enjoying these few days of power and influence over us.
Once upon a time a bunch of Head Honchos from a major rail company went to visit their luvvie London ad agency. They were shown into a waiting room strewn with litter, discarded junk food junk, strong strength lager cans and cigarette ends. They waited. And then they waited some more. And then a wee bit more. Nobody came to see them. Nobody told them what was going on. They felt abandoned and left to stew in society’s detritus.
And then just as the Head Honchos were packing up to leave angrily, the Head Luvvie, trailing his train of luvvie acolytes and other Beautiful People, appeared and announced
‘Gentlemen, now you know what it is like for your customers’.
Shocked and surprised by this experience the Railway Head Honchos scurried back to their offices and set up project teams to address the issues raised by the experience they had just enjoyed. Or would endured be a better word? History does not record how successful these working groups were but the Head Honchos had just looked into the eyes of their business. And they did not like what they had seen.
How often do your Head Honchos look into the eyes of your business? How often do you look into the eyes of your business. This is a game we can all play-Marketing Grand Fromages, project managers, even risky people.
Let us talk airline food.
Do you remember the days when airlines used to fly? And do you recall the time when airlines used to feed you? Now some airlines do continue to feed you especially when you are either paying obscene amounts of money or when travelling long distance. Otherwise you now pay very little for your ticket and pay through the nose for everything from a cup of coffee to the ‘luxury’ of getting on plane first. Indeed one airline is now set to charge for taking a pee. Now consider the irony-you pay to fill your bladder and then you have to pay again to empty it.
Moving swiftly on…………
Returning to airline food. If you do recall those halcyon days of flying and of being re-fuelled in-flight you will recall that the in flight dining experience, especially in those sections of the plane where long limbed lanky passengers like Cicero used to sit, was unlikely to win a Michelin star.
Now Cicero has long contended that the best way to improve the quality of airline food was to serve it up to the Head Honchos in their board room or swanky office. Nothing works better, nothing improves the customer experience quicker, than when those with influence in your business, and that includes you, look at your business through customer eyes. When did you and your Head Honchos last do this?
And one last tip.
Why do you not give your customer facing staff access the same computer platform that you give your customers? Or at the very least wherever possible ask your customer facing people to use the public website for all their transactions and dealings. Think of the benefits. It will save your business money as the components are re-usable; your people will be looking at the same screens as your customers; and if it does not work for your staff you will be sure to know about it, your business would be compelled would be compelled to respond more quickly and the bugs will quickly vanish.
And the same goes for providing information. If the only source of information your people had about you was the public site, you can bet the site would be maintained to a very high standard and would be extremely effective for your customers.
Again you are all looking at the business through the eyes of your customers and your front line staff.
And so this week’s top tip for your business…..if you want to improve the airline food that your business serves up to its customers, if you want to change the experience you offer to your customers for the better, you, no matter where you work, should look into the eyes of your business. You must be prepared to look at this as a customer. And you must find ways to get your Head Honchos to do the same. You and they might be shocked at what they see but the results will be dramatic. Promise.
Is it only me………but I fear the enemy is now within?
It with some bemusement that Cicero has been watching the skies above us over the past week or so. According to the scientists the skies above us are thick with volcanic ash making it too dangerous for us to fly. And yet the skies above us are bright blue. How come? Now Cicero has seen ash and with all the wisdom that can be mustered it is not blue.
Now while the crisis was its height Cicero witnessed one scientist flying a plane straight into the so called ash cloud and announcing with all the gravitas that a scientist could muster ‘there was no way it was possible to fly a plane in complete safety with all the ash that was up there’.
Now here’s the thing-this scientist chappie was not wearing a white coat but a hard hat and a high visibility vest as he made his scientific pronouncements. He was in a plane, for God’s sake. What good did he think a high visibility vest and a hard hat was going to do him. It was a parachute he was going to need not a hard hat in the event of an emergency.
But the hard hat and vest were clues. This man was not a scientist but a member of the Health and Safety Gestapo working hard to ensure the elimination of even the teeny weeniest element of risk from our lives even at the expense of massive economic and personal disruption.
And Cicero is struck too by the glee shown by the eco- and enviro-mentalists that planes have been wiped from our skies, albeit temporarily.
Now this might only be me but Cicero has reached the clear conclusion that the enemy is now within and that the eco-mentalists and the Health and Safety Gestapo last week had joined forces to inflict serious and substantive misery on us. Now you might see the dangers of allowing their views to permeate our thinking. Be warned.
Trust your own eyes. And not the views of the men in white coats, hard hats or high visibility vests. The sky is clear. It is blue. The sun is out. Ergo it is safe to fly.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus
And should you be reading this in some far flung airport lounge or executive suite in some swanky hotel still stranded far from home and loved ones while a thick blanket of volcanic ash smothers this green and pleasant land, hopefully you will find comfort and solace in these few humble words.
Hopefully you will be on your way back soon now we have at last seized back control from the eco-mentalists and Health and Safety Gauleiters who seem to be enjoying these few days of power and influence over us.
Once upon a time a bunch of Head Honchos from a major rail company went to visit their luvvie London ad agency. They were shown into a waiting room strewn with litter, discarded junk food junk, strong strength lager cans and cigarette ends. They waited. And then they waited some more. And then a wee bit more. Nobody came to see them. Nobody told them what was going on. They felt abandoned and left to stew in society’s detritus.
And then just as the Head Honchos were packing up to leave angrily, the Head Luvvie, trailing his train of luvvie acolytes and other Beautiful People, appeared and announced
‘Gentlemen, now you know what it is like for your customers’.
Shocked and surprised by this experience the Railway Head Honchos scurried back to their offices and set up project teams to address the issues raised by the experience they had just enjoyed. Or would endured be a better word? History does not record how successful these working groups were but the Head Honchos had just looked into the eyes of their business. And they did not like what they had seen.
How often do your Head Honchos look into the eyes of your business? How often do you look into the eyes of your business. This is a game we can all play-Marketing Grand Fromages, project managers, even risky people.
Let us talk airline food.
Do you remember the days when airlines used to fly? And do you recall the time when airlines used to feed you? Now some airlines do continue to feed you especially when you are either paying obscene amounts of money or when travelling long distance. Otherwise you now pay very little for your ticket and pay through the nose for everything from a cup of coffee to the ‘luxury’ of getting on plane first. Indeed one airline is now set to charge for taking a pee. Now consider the irony-you pay to fill your bladder and then you have to pay again to empty it.
Moving swiftly on…………
Returning to airline food. If you do recall those halcyon days of flying and of being re-fuelled in-flight you will recall that the in flight dining experience, especially in those sections of the plane where long limbed lanky passengers like Cicero used to sit, was unlikely to win a Michelin star.
Now Cicero has long contended that the best way to improve the quality of airline food was to serve it up to the Head Honchos in their board room or swanky office. Nothing works better, nothing improves the customer experience quicker, than when those with influence in your business, and that includes you, look at your business through customer eyes. When did you and your Head Honchos last do this?
And one last tip.
Why do you not give your customer facing staff access the same computer platform that you give your customers? Or at the very least wherever possible ask your customer facing people to use the public website for all their transactions and dealings. Think of the benefits. It will save your business money as the components are re-usable; your people will be looking at the same screens as your customers; and if it does not work for your staff you will be sure to know about it, your business would be compelled would be compelled to respond more quickly and the bugs will quickly vanish.
And the same goes for providing information. If the only source of information your people had about you was the public site, you can bet the site would be maintained to a very high standard and would be extremely effective for your customers.
Again you are all looking at the business through the eyes of your customers and your front line staff.
And so this week’s top tip for your business…..if you want to improve the airline food that your business serves up to its customers, if you want to change the experience you offer to your customers for the better, you, no matter where you work, should look into the eyes of your business. You must be prepared to look at this as a customer. And you must find ways to get your Head Honchos to do the same. You and they might be shocked at what they see but the results will be dramatic. Promise.
Is it only me………but I fear the enemy is now within?
It with some bemusement that Cicero has been watching the skies above us over the past week or so. According to the scientists the skies above us are thick with volcanic ash making it too dangerous for us to fly. And yet the skies above us are bright blue. How come? Now Cicero has seen ash and with all the wisdom that can be mustered it is not blue.
Now while the crisis was its height Cicero witnessed one scientist flying a plane straight into the so called ash cloud and announcing with all the gravitas that a scientist could muster ‘there was no way it was possible to fly a plane in complete safety with all the ash that was up there’.
Now here’s the thing-this scientist chappie was not wearing a white coat but a hard hat and a high visibility vest as he made his scientific pronouncements. He was in a plane, for God’s sake. What good did he think a high visibility vest and a hard hat was going to do him. It was a parachute he was going to need not a hard hat in the event of an emergency.
But the hard hat and vest were clues. This man was not a scientist but a member of the Health and Safety Gestapo working hard to ensure the elimination of even the teeny weeniest element of risk from our lives even at the expense of massive economic and personal disruption.
And Cicero is struck too by the glee shown by the eco- and enviro-mentalists that planes have been wiped from our skies, albeit temporarily.
Now this might only be me but Cicero has reached the clear conclusion that the enemy is now within and that the eco-mentalists and the Health and Safety Gestapo last week had joined forces to inflict serious and substantive misery on us. Now you might see the dangers of allowing their views to permeate our thinking. Be warned.
Trust your own eyes. And not the views of the men in white coats, hard hats or high visibility vests. The sky is clear. It is blue. The sun is out. Ergo it is safe to fly.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus
Thursday 15 April 2010
I'm alright Jack
It seems that last week’s thoughts on the dangers posed to cyclists might have disturbed you and Cicero is mightily glad for the expressions of concern received from you. You can now imply by the presence of these words and sleep soundly for at least a few more nights that Cicero has survived the perils on our roads for one more week.
However in the Ciceronic philosophy of life each week that passes without incident means we are one week closer to ending up smeared like crunchy peanut butter on wholegrain toast all over the radiator grille of an artic or bendy bus.
Cicero would however like to challenge the views of one correspondent who considered Cicero to be a vulnerable adult requiring all who worked with or close by to have to undergo some sort of CRB check. Cheeky or what?
It is also worth pointing out that we have not yet heard from any Health and Safety Gauleiter out there on their views on the inherent risks posed to the health and safety of a bike riding bi-ped by fitting indicator and brake lights. Come on, stand up and be accountable. You are among friends here.
Now here’s a challenge for you. How many times have you been in a discussion in your business when the problem is not with us in the room but with them who are not in the room?
If you can count on two hands or less the number of times this has occurred to you in your business, then you are either very lucky , suffering from delusion or are admitting to terminological inexactitudes, playing fast and loose with the actuality.
Am small example of this syndrome, which we shall call I’m-alright-Jack-Syndrome, occurred to Cicero the other day in discussion with some customer service apparatchik, not in the VTSSB we must point out hastily before we get letters and comments.
It was over a minor matter but it was clear that the attitude was ‘if left to me this would not happen but they have determined that this is way it had to be done’. A classic example of I’m-alright-Jack Syndrome. It took a few minutes of further discussion in Cicero’s calm and considered way before we could identify who ‘they’ were and before Cicero could put the apparatchik on the path to customer service enlightenment and wisdom.
In advanced cases of I’m-alright-Jack Syndrome, which too are very common, those suffering from this condition will loudly point out that ‘I’m doing a fantastically brilliant job, you are doing ok but them over there are real Klutzes and don’t deserve to breathe the same air as me’.
Do you recognise this syndrome? Do you suffer from it? Of course not. You will no doubt be thinking that you have been immunised from this deadly disease which corrodes and undermines individuals, teams and businesses, but there are people in other parts of your building who need treatment for it. And if you are thinking to yourself like then yes you do have I’m-alright-Jack-Syndrome.
Performance management and post implementation reviews are great places to spot the symptoms of this condition. ‘I would have done a brilliant job if it had not been for those knuckle heads over there’.
Can this be cured?
Of course it can. And the cure for this condition is simple and straightforward. It is for each and everyone of us to step up the plate and to take personal responsibility for our successes and our failings. It is not about passing blame to them or pointing the finger at them or passing the buck to them. We need to recognise that what they do is not important. It is time to understand that while we can influence and change ourselves it is a pointless waste of emotion to worry about others or issues beyond our control. It is time for all of us to take personal responsibility and to challenge those around us who don’t.
Get with it, folks, work together and we have the power like smallpox to cure I’m-alright-Jack syndrome for good and eradicate it from these shores.
Is it only me…..but don’t we count?
Now here’s a conundrum for you.
Have you ever been polled to ask how you are going to vote in the forthcoming General Election? Nor has Cicero.
Do you know anyone who has been asked to take part in such a survey? No again.
And yet each day it seems our newspapers, TV and radio seem to be reporting the latest opinion survey of our voting intentions. And each one of said surveys involves about 1000 of us chosen at random to represent the people living in this green and pleasant land.
If we start to do the maths this soon becomes an awfully lot of people. And if you multiply this number by the number of elections that Cicero has witnessed the odds lessen considerably that someone close and dear, or even vaguely familiar in a Facebook kind of way, must have taken part. And yet no one in Cicero’s sphere of influence, nobody in the network, no one within 6 degrees, has to Cicero’s considerable knowledge ever participated in one of these surveys.
Now this leads one to the inescapable conclusion that Cicero and his friends are not considered representative of those who live on this scepter’d isle. This surely cannot be the case. How dare anyone suggest that Cicero and his very important people are not representative of something?
Alternatively it might just be that those who undertake these surveys just make the numbers up each week. It may just be me but this could explain why we are seeing regular swings of support for the parties with a real inconsistency of poll numbers. At least it keep things interesting over the next few weeks and gives our print and media politicos something to say. Heaven forbid there is some kind of conspiracy going on to sell newspapers or to make democracy seem interesting.
And should you get a call, please do let us know.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
However in the Ciceronic philosophy of life each week that passes without incident means we are one week closer to ending up smeared like crunchy peanut butter on wholegrain toast all over the radiator grille of an artic or bendy bus.
Cicero would however like to challenge the views of one correspondent who considered Cicero to be a vulnerable adult requiring all who worked with or close by to have to undergo some sort of CRB check. Cheeky or what?
It is also worth pointing out that we have not yet heard from any Health and Safety Gauleiter out there on their views on the inherent risks posed to the health and safety of a bike riding bi-ped by fitting indicator and brake lights. Come on, stand up and be accountable. You are among friends here.
Now here’s a challenge for you. How many times have you been in a discussion in your business when the problem is not with us in the room but with them who are not in the room?
If you can count on two hands or less the number of times this has occurred to you in your business, then you are either very lucky , suffering from delusion or are admitting to terminological inexactitudes, playing fast and loose with the actuality.
Am small example of this syndrome, which we shall call I’m-alright-Jack-Syndrome, occurred to Cicero the other day in discussion with some customer service apparatchik, not in the VTSSB we must point out hastily before we get letters and comments.
It was over a minor matter but it was clear that the attitude was ‘if left to me this would not happen but they have determined that this is way it had to be done’. A classic example of I’m-alright-Jack Syndrome. It took a few minutes of further discussion in Cicero’s calm and considered way before we could identify who ‘they’ were and before Cicero could put the apparatchik on the path to customer service enlightenment and wisdom.
In advanced cases of I’m-alright-Jack Syndrome, which too are very common, those suffering from this condition will loudly point out that ‘I’m doing a fantastically brilliant job, you are doing ok but them over there are real Klutzes and don’t deserve to breathe the same air as me’.
Do you recognise this syndrome? Do you suffer from it? Of course not. You will no doubt be thinking that you have been immunised from this deadly disease which corrodes and undermines individuals, teams and businesses, but there are people in other parts of your building who need treatment for it. And if you are thinking to yourself like then yes you do have I’m-alright-Jack-Syndrome.
Performance management and post implementation reviews are great places to spot the symptoms of this condition. ‘I would have done a brilliant job if it had not been for those knuckle heads over there’.
Can this be cured?
Of course it can. And the cure for this condition is simple and straightforward. It is for each and everyone of us to step up the plate and to take personal responsibility for our successes and our failings. It is not about passing blame to them or pointing the finger at them or passing the buck to them. We need to recognise that what they do is not important. It is time to understand that while we can influence and change ourselves it is a pointless waste of emotion to worry about others or issues beyond our control. It is time for all of us to take personal responsibility and to challenge those around us who don’t.
Get with it, folks, work together and we have the power like smallpox to cure I’m-alright-Jack syndrome for good and eradicate it from these shores.
Is it only me…..but don’t we count?
Now here’s a conundrum for you.
Have you ever been polled to ask how you are going to vote in the forthcoming General Election? Nor has Cicero.
Do you know anyone who has been asked to take part in such a survey? No again.
And yet each day it seems our newspapers, TV and radio seem to be reporting the latest opinion survey of our voting intentions. And each one of said surveys involves about 1000 of us chosen at random to represent the people living in this green and pleasant land.
If we start to do the maths this soon becomes an awfully lot of people. And if you multiply this number by the number of elections that Cicero has witnessed the odds lessen considerably that someone close and dear, or even vaguely familiar in a Facebook kind of way, must have taken part. And yet no one in Cicero’s sphere of influence, nobody in the network, no one within 6 degrees, has to Cicero’s considerable knowledge ever participated in one of these surveys.
Now this leads one to the inescapable conclusion that Cicero and his friends are not considered representative of those who live on this scepter’d isle. This surely cannot be the case. How dare anyone suggest that Cicero and his very important people are not representative of something?
Alternatively it might just be that those who undertake these surveys just make the numbers up each week. It may just be me but this could explain why we are seeing regular swings of support for the parties with a real inconsistency of poll numbers. At least it keep things interesting over the next few weeks and gives our print and media politicos something to say. Heaven forbid there is some kind of conspiracy going on to sell newspapers or to make democracy seem interesting.
And should you get a call, please do let us know.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
Monday 12 April 2010
Shifting gears
We start this week with great news.
And this truly is amazing news.
For Cicero has become a pin-up and a cult to the audit and risk profession. It is difficult to understand why this profession has now jumped onto a bandwagon whose benefits you recognised early on. One can only assume that these people, who are not all as dull as you might like to think, can see how these words of wit and wisdom can make them better informed people.
Ave, unum et omnes.
You will recall that a few weeks back we discussed London buses and their relevance to career planning. If you would like a refresher see ‘The man on the Clapham omnibus’ in the sidebar for March. An excellent read, you surely will agree.
Following this Cicero was approached by a Marketing Petit Fromage seeking more enlightenment and wisdom to help on the journey to becoming a Marketing Grand Fromage. Cicero advised that now is the time to shift gears to make that particular journey. Allow Cicero to explain.
In the past, and in many organisations still, the role of marketing was to provide sales support and delivered marketing communications. The balloons and brochure type of marketing function. In this business the Marketing Grand Fromage was the expert on the precise shade of blue, red or green for the annual report.
These days are now becoming history and winning businesses are starting to seek competitive advantage through marketing becoming a strategic growth driver. This requires a different kind of Marketing Grand Fromage and to succeed in this environment Marketing Grand Fromages and those aspiring to reach these dizzy heights must learn to adapt. When Marketing Grand Fromages go through the gears like this they move from tactical player to leader to visionary.
With eyes open wide and panting breathlessly with excitement, Cicero’s young pupil was hooked by the vision of marketing excellence that had been painted. He wanted to know more. Cicero was urged on with restless curiosity to tell more. For the apprentice wanted to know how Petit Marketing Fromages should go through the gears; the skills needed; the behaviours practiced.
And Cicero’s advice was to focus on 5 key things to get things going.
Firstly use customer insights as your secret weapon. When you understand your customer better than anyone else in the organisation you are better able to use this insight and understanding to inform key strategy and business planning discussions. If you and your team are the best informed about what your customers are thinking, how they are behaving and the drivers of this behaviour and can synthesise the data with precision and brevity you are one step ahead.
In second gear you demonstrate a profit and loss mindset at all times. You understand how your revenues are generated, how the cost base is shaped and the levers to pull to influence both. How can you collaborate with your colleagues and with your Chief Bean Counter without this understanding? This shows you understand the business intimately.
Now we are really beginning to motor and armed with our knowledge of our customers and of our business it is now time to shift into third gear. In this gear the Marketing Grand Fromage will tie their ideas to specific growth objectives of the business. It is no longer enough for Marketing Grand Fromages just to ask for more advertising or bigger budgets or whatever. We must participate in business conversations using a strategic point of view. Marketing must be seen to earn its keep. Marketing must not wait to be informed by ‘the business’. Marketing is the business. Marketing must connect with the Board level agenda.
In fourth gear the Marketing Grand Fromage will inspire and lead to cultivate an innovative mindset. With a deep level of customer and industry knowledge and a keen awareness of macro trends and the competitive landscape, we are well placed to drive the growth agenda by creating an organisational mindset focussed on constant innovation. Marketing Grand Fromages in fourth gear are the customer zealot within the business and must motivate the business through their networks and partnerships to engage in constant innovation and growth.
And in fifth gear we reach cruising speed. In this gear Marketing Grand Fromages lead their people to deliver marketing excellence with a mindset that incorporates the growth agenda and accountability for delivering that agenda. Marketing excellence at this level is based on demonstrating how marketing activities are linked to growing revenues and profit margins as well as leading to increased market share and stronger brands. At the heart of marketing excellence is business acumen.
And there you have it. 5 gears to help drive you to become a Marketing Grand Fromage and 5 gears to give your business significant competitive advantage. And if you too, like Cicero’s young apprentice, are excited by this prospect and are willing to work hard to make the shift through the gears as recommended by Cicero, then you too can become a Marketing Grand Fromage. It might sound cheesy but this is the way the world is going. Trust Cicero.
Is it only me………..but does this not indicate a sensible way to cycle?
It is illegal to fit indicators to a bike. Putting to one side the practicalities and feasibility of fitting indicators to a bike, does this not strike you as plain daft? What is the problem with using indicators while cycling to let the artics, white vans and bendy buses know that the cyclist in front is about to turn to the right or left?
Certainly Mirror-Signal-Manoeuvre might be a wee bit tricky but surely using an indicator rather than sticking your paw out and thereby disturbing the cyclists’ carefully calibrated balance is a much better way to go round corners. Surely Yorkie Man and his mates would prefer to see a blinking light rather than having someone with arm outstretched wibble wobble in front of them before being spread-eagled across the radiator grille.
No doubt some Health and Safety Gauleiter has decreed that that such attachments when fitted to a bicycle pose an unnecessary risk to the health and safety of the bicyclist. Nonsense. How do they know? Has it ever been tried? What was the outcome?
Is it only me but this is surely a totally stupid edict and if anyone from the Health and Safety Gestapo is reading this and can explain and justify such stupidity, please do share.
And to make matters worse while it is illegal to fit indicators, and brake lights too might be helpful, it is mandatory that those riding their wee bikes must now have a bell fitted. How stupid is that? Do you really think that Yorkie Man in his 32 ton artic or the matadors driving the bendy buses or White Van Essex Boy is going to hear and, even if he does, pay any attention to a wee bell? Only the kind of hooting horn that Casey Jones had fitted to his train is going to provide you with any protection whatsoever on the daily joust with the traffic on our roads.
Surely these are yet more examples of the blatant stupidity and impractical counsel that spews from our Health and Safety Gauleiters. If you are one of these, please feel free to defend yourselves and explain to a fascinated audience how important a job you all do and why you feel it necessary to eliminate all personal responsibility for our own safety. We’re all waiting.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
And this truly is amazing news.
For Cicero has become a pin-up and a cult to the audit and risk profession. It is difficult to understand why this profession has now jumped onto a bandwagon whose benefits you recognised early on. One can only assume that these people, who are not all as dull as you might like to think, can see how these words of wit and wisdom can make them better informed people.
Ave, unum et omnes.
You will recall that a few weeks back we discussed London buses and their relevance to career planning. If you would like a refresher see ‘The man on the Clapham omnibus’ in the sidebar for March. An excellent read, you surely will agree.
Following this Cicero was approached by a Marketing Petit Fromage seeking more enlightenment and wisdom to help on the journey to becoming a Marketing Grand Fromage. Cicero advised that now is the time to shift gears to make that particular journey. Allow Cicero to explain.
In the past, and in many organisations still, the role of marketing was to provide sales support and delivered marketing communications. The balloons and brochure type of marketing function. In this business the Marketing Grand Fromage was the expert on the precise shade of blue, red or green for the annual report.
These days are now becoming history and winning businesses are starting to seek competitive advantage through marketing becoming a strategic growth driver. This requires a different kind of Marketing Grand Fromage and to succeed in this environment Marketing Grand Fromages and those aspiring to reach these dizzy heights must learn to adapt. When Marketing Grand Fromages go through the gears like this they move from tactical player to leader to visionary.
With eyes open wide and panting breathlessly with excitement, Cicero’s young pupil was hooked by the vision of marketing excellence that had been painted. He wanted to know more. Cicero was urged on with restless curiosity to tell more. For the apprentice wanted to know how Petit Marketing Fromages should go through the gears; the skills needed; the behaviours practiced.
And Cicero’s advice was to focus on 5 key things to get things going.
Firstly use customer insights as your secret weapon. When you understand your customer better than anyone else in the organisation you are better able to use this insight and understanding to inform key strategy and business planning discussions. If you and your team are the best informed about what your customers are thinking, how they are behaving and the drivers of this behaviour and can synthesise the data with precision and brevity you are one step ahead.
In second gear you demonstrate a profit and loss mindset at all times. You understand how your revenues are generated, how the cost base is shaped and the levers to pull to influence both. How can you collaborate with your colleagues and with your Chief Bean Counter without this understanding? This shows you understand the business intimately.
Now we are really beginning to motor and armed with our knowledge of our customers and of our business it is now time to shift into third gear. In this gear the Marketing Grand Fromage will tie their ideas to specific growth objectives of the business. It is no longer enough for Marketing Grand Fromages just to ask for more advertising or bigger budgets or whatever. We must participate in business conversations using a strategic point of view. Marketing must be seen to earn its keep. Marketing must not wait to be informed by ‘the business’. Marketing is the business. Marketing must connect with the Board level agenda.
In fourth gear the Marketing Grand Fromage will inspire and lead to cultivate an innovative mindset. With a deep level of customer and industry knowledge and a keen awareness of macro trends and the competitive landscape, we are well placed to drive the growth agenda by creating an organisational mindset focussed on constant innovation. Marketing Grand Fromages in fourth gear are the customer zealot within the business and must motivate the business through their networks and partnerships to engage in constant innovation and growth.
And in fifth gear we reach cruising speed. In this gear Marketing Grand Fromages lead their people to deliver marketing excellence with a mindset that incorporates the growth agenda and accountability for delivering that agenda. Marketing excellence at this level is based on demonstrating how marketing activities are linked to growing revenues and profit margins as well as leading to increased market share and stronger brands. At the heart of marketing excellence is business acumen.
And there you have it. 5 gears to help drive you to become a Marketing Grand Fromage and 5 gears to give your business significant competitive advantage. And if you too, like Cicero’s young apprentice, are excited by this prospect and are willing to work hard to make the shift through the gears as recommended by Cicero, then you too can become a Marketing Grand Fromage. It might sound cheesy but this is the way the world is going. Trust Cicero.
Is it only me………..but does this not indicate a sensible way to cycle?
It is illegal to fit indicators to a bike. Putting to one side the practicalities and feasibility of fitting indicators to a bike, does this not strike you as plain daft? What is the problem with using indicators while cycling to let the artics, white vans and bendy buses know that the cyclist in front is about to turn to the right or left?
Certainly Mirror-Signal-Manoeuvre might be a wee bit tricky but surely using an indicator rather than sticking your paw out and thereby disturbing the cyclists’ carefully calibrated balance is a much better way to go round corners. Surely Yorkie Man and his mates would prefer to see a blinking light rather than having someone with arm outstretched wibble wobble in front of them before being spread-eagled across the radiator grille.
No doubt some Health and Safety Gauleiter has decreed that that such attachments when fitted to a bicycle pose an unnecessary risk to the health and safety of the bicyclist. Nonsense. How do they know? Has it ever been tried? What was the outcome?
Is it only me but this is surely a totally stupid edict and if anyone from the Health and Safety Gestapo is reading this and can explain and justify such stupidity, please do share.
And to make matters worse while it is illegal to fit indicators, and brake lights too might be helpful, it is mandatory that those riding their wee bikes must now have a bell fitted. How stupid is that? Do you really think that Yorkie Man in his 32 ton artic or the matadors driving the bendy buses or White Van Essex Boy is going to hear and, even if he does, pay any attention to a wee bell? Only the kind of hooting horn that Casey Jones had fitted to his train is going to provide you with any protection whatsoever on the daily joust with the traffic on our roads.
Surely these are yet more examples of the blatant stupidity and impractical counsel that spews from our Health and Safety Gauleiters. If you are one of these, please feel free to defend yourselves and explain to a fascinated audience how important a job you all do and why you feel it necessary to eliminate all personal responsibility for our own safety. We’re all waiting.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
Friday 2 April 2010
Drilled to bits
It seems like that there now a few more avid readers of these words of wit and wisdom. If you are new to these pages, welcome and hopefully like the rest of this wee community you will go about your business wiser and more informed. You never know but stick in, laddie, and soon you might become a Marketing Grand Fromage.
You might also like to know that Cicero has become a Twitter phenomenon. One of you has been tweeting about these fine words. It feels great to be a tweet. Thank you.
You can’t say you were not warned but last week Cicero announced the return of summer and resorted once more to wearing shorts on his daily trip to Londinium and his VTSSB. At this early stage of the season these legs are more likely to share the characteristics of two sticks of celery but be assured it will not be too long before these long streaks of lanky legs will be tanned, weather worn and toned. Steady now. Hopefully you can contain your excitement.
From time to time Cicero will leave the confines of his VTSSB to take a break from the stresses and strains of defending the country and its borders and to meet up with fellow Marketing Grand Fromages and friends to share and discuss wit and wisdom. Last week, and for one night only, was one such occasion.
As it is spring the conversation turned to matters DIY. A subject in which Cicero has no interest whatsoever. Cicero and tools do not get on. Cicero’s hands were designed to hold a pen to enable his wit and wisdom to be captured and disseminated. These soft finely sculpted hands and digits were not brought into this world to do manual labour with tools. That is a skill for others.
At this point it should be pointed out that not all Cicero’s friends talk about DIY. Cicero does have some very interesting friends better able to discuss more interesting, stimulating and exciting material. Should you be one of these friends, you can therefore rest assured that Cicero considers you interesting and intellectual and beyond such sterile and vacuous chat as DIY. Hopefully that will keep a few of you from sending in indignant comment.
But back to matters DIY…………………….
The conversation rambled on for a wee bit, with the Ciceronic boredom levels rising and attention wandering, with each participant trying to outdo each other with the degree of difficulty of their latest DIY project. At this level DIY takes on the characteristics of an Olympic sport with individual and team performances.
Finally Cicero spoke, to the amazement of the group who had long given up on Cicero showing any interest whatsoever in discussing the best way to fit something called an RSJ; or how quickly a new bathroom could be installed when working on own; or whether an IKEA or MFI fitted kitchen came with less screws missing.
‘What do Black and Decker make?’ asked Cicero to the group.
‘Eh? Surely even you know that’, said one of the friends, ‘They make a lot of things but mainly things like drills and stuff like that. If you not got anything sensible to add to our chat on raw plugs, could you stay quiet please.’
‘Ah but what do Black and Decker say they make?’ was Cicero’s response.
That stunned the group into silence. They knew that Cicero was now about to share an insight and a wisdom that would help them become better people. They knew that the DIY chatter was now over until Cicero, like Elvis, had left the building. And Cicero knew the floor was now his. He had their attention.
‘’You might be right. I do know very little about the subject of DIY but I do believe that Black & Decker is principally a maker of drills and drill bits’’, opined Cicero, ‘’ But surely any business, any brand, is defined by more than what it does for such descriptions lack soul, are devoid of emotion, are non descript.
‘’ And it is for this reason that Black & Decker don’t say they make drills. Instead they say that they are in the business of making the best holes in the world. Customers don’t buy a drill. They buy a hole and that is what Black and Decker set out to make.’’
‘’Similarly let us consider Revlon.
‘’ I am sure that you will have seen the ads for Revlon products and conclude that what they make and what they sell is lipstick, mascara and other types of stuff that women buy and which we men don’t at all understand. But according to Revlon they make and sell beauty and that is what women want to buy.
‘’ You can play this game for any business you care to mention. The things you make, the services you provide, define what you are but not who you are and as I say it is always the who which is the more important and interesting.
‘’ And by defining yourselves by what your customers want to buy and the emotionality of their purchase, you start to define yourself in customer terms and send a powerful signal to your people.
‘’ In my VTSSB I do not define what we do by what we produce but the role we perform in ensuring that the rights and privileges of citizenship are defended and protected for that is why my customers pay their taxes and why they choose to select our incremental services.
‘’ I hope that all makes sense. And now I’m off. Never knew DIY, drills and bits could be so interesting’’.
And with that Cicero drained the dregs from his glass and strode off into the night. His work done.
So what is your business about? How can you better define what and who you are in a way consistent with what your customers want to buy? Let us know. Get it right and you, your customers and your business will be drilled-er I mean thrilled-to bits.
Is it only me………………….. but is it not time to improve democracy?
Now it cannot have escaped your attention that we are on the cusp of an election. Now Cicero as you know is apolitical and will not be joining in the feverish partisan shilly shallying that is bound to go on for the next few weeks. You can be assured that this corner of the blogosphere will not be corrupted by the stench of the electoral battlefield. However, there is one thing about our democratic system that should worry us.
If you are right minded you will see the flaw in the one person, one vote approach that is inherent in most democracies. No matter how intelligent you are, how well informed you think you might be, how close an interest you take in current affairs, your vote is worth exactly the same as someone who believes newspapers are for wrapping chips, who thinks that the news is the ideal time to make a cup of tea or eat supper, or who is convinced that the Cabinet is something you get at Ikea, normally with a screw loose. Well nearly right on the last point.
Is it only me but are you also thinking that this is patently wrong?
Now some would advocate that all you need to do is pass a literacy and numeracy test to get vote. This does not go far enough and here is a much better idea which would provide votes in proportion to your ability to buy and read a newspaper and the right sort of well informed newspaper at that.
In this democracy newspapers would print vouchers the moment an election called. Broadsheets would offer more vote coupons per issue than tabloids, naturally, though a special exemption would need to be made for the one quality tabloid. Odd shaped sized newspapers, of which there is one, would be barred from this exercise. They are odd sized and think oddly too. Ergo the more newspapers you read over the length of the election period the more well informed you would be and the more votes you would get. Quod erat demonstrandum, as they say on the Via Appia.
A vote winner if ever there was one.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
You might also like to know that Cicero has become a Twitter phenomenon. One of you has been tweeting about these fine words. It feels great to be a tweet. Thank you.
You can’t say you were not warned but last week Cicero announced the return of summer and resorted once more to wearing shorts on his daily trip to Londinium and his VTSSB. At this early stage of the season these legs are more likely to share the characteristics of two sticks of celery but be assured it will not be too long before these long streaks of lanky legs will be tanned, weather worn and toned. Steady now. Hopefully you can contain your excitement.
From time to time Cicero will leave the confines of his VTSSB to take a break from the stresses and strains of defending the country and its borders and to meet up with fellow Marketing Grand Fromages and friends to share and discuss wit and wisdom. Last week, and for one night only, was one such occasion.
As it is spring the conversation turned to matters DIY. A subject in which Cicero has no interest whatsoever. Cicero and tools do not get on. Cicero’s hands were designed to hold a pen to enable his wit and wisdom to be captured and disseminated. These soft finely sculpted hands and digits were not brought into this world to do manual labour with tools. That is a skill for others.
At this point it should be pointed out that not all Cicero’s friends talk about DIY. Cicero does have some very interesting friends better able to discuss more interesting, stimulating and exciting material. Should you be one of these friends, you can therefore rest assured that Cicero considers you interesting and intellectual and beyond such sterile and vacuous chat as DIY. Hopefully that will keep a few of you from sending in indignant comment.
But back to matters DIY…………………….
The conversation rambled on for a wee bit, with the Ciceronic boredom levels rising and attention wandering, with each participant trying to outdo each other with the degree of difficulty of their latest DIY project. At this level DIY takes on the characteristics of an Olympic sport with individual and team performances.
Finally Cicero spoke, to the amazement of the group who had long given up on Cicero showing any interest whatsoever in discussing the best way to fit something called an RSJ; or how quickly a new bathroom could be installed when working on own; or whether an IKEA or MFI fitted kitchen came with less screws missing.
‘What do Black and Decker make?’ asked Cicero to the group.
‘Eh? Surely even you know that’, said one of the friends, ‘They make a lot of things but mainly things like drills and stuff like that. If you not got anything sensible to add to our chat on raw plugs, could you stay quiet please.’
‘Ah but what do Black and Decker say they make?’ was Cicero’s response.
That stunned the group into silence. They knew that Cicero was now about to share an insight and a wisdom that would help them become better people. They knew that the DIY chatter was now over until Cicero, like Elvis, had left the building. And Cicero knew the floor was now his. He had their attention.
‘’You might be right. I do know very little about the subject of DIY but I do believe that Black & Decker is principally a maker of drills and drill bits’’, opined Cicero, ‘’ But surely any business, any brand, is defined by more than what it does for such descriptions lack soul, are devoid of emotion, are non descript.
‘’ And it is for this reason that Black & Decker don’t say they make drills. Instead they say that they are in the business of making the best holes in the world. Customers don’t buy a drill. They buy a hole and that is what Black and Decker set out to make.’’
‘’Similarly let us consider Revlon.
‘’ I am sure that you will have seen the ads for Revlon products and conclude that what they make and what they sell is lipstick, mascara and other types of stuff that women buy and which we men don’t at all understand. But according to Revlon they make and sell beauty and that is what women want to buy.
‘’ You can play this game for any business you care to mention. The things you make, the services you provide, define what you are but not who you are and as I say it is always the who which is the more important and interesting.
‘’ And by defining yourselves by what your customers want to buy and the emotionality of their purchase, you start to define yourself in customer terms and send a powerful signal to your people.
‘’ In my VTSSB I do not define what we do by what we produce but the role we perform in ensuring that the rights and privileges of citizenship are defended and protected for that is why my customers pay their taxes and why they choose to select our incremental services.
‘’ I hope that all makes sense. And now I’m off. Never knew DIY, drills and bits could be so interesting’’.
And with that Cicero drained the dregs from his glass and strode off into the night. His work done.
So what is your business about? How can you better define what and who you are in a way consistent with what your customers want to buy? Let us know. Get it right and you, your customers and your business will be drilled-er I mean thrilled-to bits.
Is it only me………………….. but is it not time to improve democracy?
Now it cannot have escaped your attention that we are on the cusp of an election. Now Cicero as you know is apolitical and will not be joining in the feverish partisan shilly shallying that is bound to go on for the next few weeks. You can be assured that this corner of the blogosphere will not be corrupted by the stench of the electoral battlefield. However, there is one thing about our democratic system that should worry us.
If you are right minded you will see the flaw in the one person, one vote approach that is inherent in most democracies. No matter how intelligent you are, how well informed you think you might be, how close an interest you take in current affairs, your vote is worth exactly the same as someone who believes newspapers are for wrapping chips, who thinks that the news is the ideal time to make a cup of tea or eat supper, or who is convinced that the Cabinet is something you get at Ikea, normally with a screw loose. Well nearly right on the last point.
Is it only me but are you also thinking that this is patently wrong?
Now some would advocate that all you need to do is pass a literacy and numeracy test to get vote. This does not go far enough and here is a much better idea which would provide votes in proportion to your ability to buy and read a newspaper and the right sort of well informed newspaper at that.
In this democracy newspapers would print vouchers the moment an election called. Broadsheets would offer more vote coupons per issue than tabloids, naturally, though a special exemption would need to be made for the one quality tabloid. Odd shaped sized newspapers, of which there is one, would be barred from this exercise. They are odd sized and think oddly too. Ergo the more newspapers you read over the length of the election period the more well informed you would be and the more votes you would get. Quod erat demonstrandum, as they say on the Via Appia.
A vote winner if ever there was one.
Have a great week.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)