Old Cow, New Cow

Knowing how eagle eyed you are, you will have spotted that Cicero has resorted to the lucre of advertising. Do not fret. This will in no way compromise my integrity to say what I think needs to be said. The revenues from advertising will subsidise and democratise my words and those of like-minded and even cleverer thinkers than me, meaning that they become accessible to the global poor, and the chance to be a force for good and for change.

And please note that my mention last week of KFC and ‘The Whopper’ were not paid for product placements. Now that’s an idea………

Last week it was geese and I promised you that I would also talk about cows. And so this week I bring you Old Cow, New Cow Theory, a theory handed down to me from the Dales of Yorkshire by a fine Dales woman. And as I have learnt, her thoughts and ideas not only govern all human relationships, especially those between men and women, but also explain the relationship between a business and its customers.

I know your eyes are now rolling heavenward but please bear with me, I can assure you it will be worth it.

First the science and the rural psychology. Old Cow, New Cow theory is derived from a number of seminal studies based on the mating preferences of the male cow. Firstly a bull is presented with a cow. They mate. When the bull is presented with the same cow to mate again, the bull is not interested. He wanted New Cow and this was Old Cow. It is the thrill of the chase that motivates, excites and interests the bull.

Is this in any way relevant? Stick with it. It will become clear,

Think on the efforts some businesses make to win and attract new customers, or in farming terms, new cows. We get all excited and stimulated by new customers. We flatter them, we pay them attention, we offer them all sort of inducements to come and join us. But the minute they become a customer they become old cow, we lose interest in them and we begin to treat them accordingly.

Let us consider for a moment the people who market us mobile phones, utilities, banking, insurance, credit cards and the like and let us look at the behaviours going on there. New cows get bonus rates, discounts and the best deals. Old cows gradually see interest rates dwindle, charges increased, prices go up and margins widened. I don’t know if you have seen the ads but Nationwide in its advertising makes the point absurdly well. Only new customers are allowed to use the manager’s pen. You only get offered juicy worms until you go in the keep bag.

And yet marketing theory emphasis that it is more efficient and effective to retain customers rather than make continual and costly efforts to recruit new customers. The High St is awash with brands and businesses pursuing the New Cow strategy. Why is it not possible for those businesses to focus at least as much of their marketing attention and their marketing investment on Old Cows and ensuring that we offer them the best possible service that they will keep coming back and keep spreading the news? Why can’t customers be as important as prospects?

I understand the marketing and business logic. I understand profitability is driven by the back book and not by the new cows joining that are heavily subsidised by the old cows. However it is no wonder that in this environment that there are rate tarts that are always chasing the best price, rate and deal. They have been created by our marketing efforts. Why should they be loyal to my brand when the brand has hardly been loyal to them?

The brand that is able to turn old cow, new cow theory on its head and prove it wrong, will be the brand and business that wins going forward. But maybe, just maybe, it is impossible to buck the mysterious and strange forces of nature. But at least let’s try.

And now that I have run this theory past your eyes (get it?), I hope you understand what I am going on about. I long for a brand and a business that can defeat these forces and that can milk this point of difference. Long may it continue to be different from the ‘udders’.

And on that note and before my punning degenerates to even new lows I’m off. But if I get any more useful and interesting moos, I mean news, or insights from Farming Today or from the people of the Dales, I will be sure to pass them on. And if you ever get invited to dine with farming stock, at least you will have something to talk about.

And finally. Is it me? I don’t know if you heard it but on the day that the government gave the go ahead to build the third runway at Heathrow, much to the chagrin of the enviro-mentalists and with much gnashing teeth from the eco warriors, I heard an interview with the head teacher from the local primary school who was desperately upset that the school would now have to close and the children would have to leave their friends and find a new school. Is it me but did no one think to tell the head teacher that by the time the first excavators and JCBs turn up on site, and by the time the neo Swampies have been prised from their tunnels and trees, these kids, so upset at losing their friends, will have been through school and university and armed with their degrees will be flipping burgers. Why do the media prefer a good heart rending emotion to rational and cold facts? I sometimes think we are the only clear sighted and clear thinking people left.

Have a great week. Et este fortunatus