Going Up!

Salvete, amici.

After taking inspiration in last few weeks from the rugby, I am going to draw a veil over that particular source of creativity for now and move swiftly on. I would, however, like to acknowledge Erin’s historic triumph which I know will delight Cicero’s Hibernian devotees.

You will be pleased to know that Cicero is now giving his marketing advice and counsel to national governments. For reasons of national security I am unable to disclose which organ of the state apparatus, and indeed which government, I am now advising, but I would like you to know that you can sleep safely in your beds at night knowing that I am on the case.

As part of my meet and greet tour of the offices and of the people who have the great fortune to work with moi, I have been asking them searching and difficult questions like’ ‘what do you’, ‘what business are you in’ and the like.

Again for reasons of national security I am unable to divulge the answers to these questions but conversations like those I am having right now remind me of the need for us all to have our lift conversations at the ready. In my case this is especially true. The head honcho here told me last week that he has adopted the practice of speaking to people in lifts and actually talking to them. This person, whose identity I am unable to reveal lest it compromise national security, is a Very Very Important Person, doing the kind of role where you do not strike up unsolicited conversations in lifts with people as lowly as me.

Do I hear you ask ‘what is a lift conversation’? As usual Cicero will seek to illuminate in his usual entertaining and educational way.

I want you to imagine you are in a lift and someone asks you who and what you do or what business you are in. You have got to tell your story before the lift stops. If you are lucky you might be in a very tall building with the opportunity to recite in voluminous and pedantic detail the ins and outs of your business’s 5 Year Plan. However the chances are that you will not have read the 5 Year Plan and, more likely, that you have only got at most a couple of floors to capture the imagination of the person asking you the question so your answer must be quick, succinct and compelling. My usual rule that if it cannot fit onto the front of a T-Shirt holds true in this instance too.

We are all asked that question from time to time, in lifts, in the pub, by our family and not just by Very Very Important Persons. We could be speaking to a potential customer and since all of us are in the communication business with the potential to promote and advertise our brand and our business, having a compelling lift conversation to hand can be a very powerful advert for our business.
Remember, as I have pointed out over recent weeks (see panel to right for evidence), that despite the advances in technology and the millions poured each year by businesses like ours into advertising and other forms of communication, the human voice is still the most communications medium known to man. People buy people, not adverts.

For reasons of national security I am unable to share with you my lift conversation to describe what I and my team do, but let me give you some examples from some well known brands and businesses that are not required to operate under such constraints. There is a common theme which, as a bright and intelligent student of this column you will be, I am sure you will spot straight away.

Revlon which others less enlightened as you might think make women’s cosmetics say that they sell hope to women. Black and Decker are not manufacturers of drills but sell holes. And Volvo will tell you that they don’t make cars but sell safety on wheels.

These might be rather short lift conversations but they are a great starting point to describe what they do and what business they are in. And what is truly great about these lift conversations is that they look at their business from the view point of the customer and not from what they supply or manufacture. They describe the business in emotional and not in rational or functional terms.


We should all have a lift conversation and I would be really keen to hear how you would describe what your business does in no more than 3 sentences. And in the rare event that you might be finding it difficult to define your lift conversation let me know through the wonders of Google’s technology on this page and I will see what I can do to help.

Is it just me?

Can anyone explain to me why it is not possible for manufacturers of mobile electronic equipment to come up with a standard plug that is compatible across my range of personal gizmos and executive toys. Surely a plug is a plug. However when I travel these days I seem to be carrying more portable power plants than clothes and smalls. With plugs and adaptors for PCs, MP3, my fruity PDA and mobile to ensure constant connectivity and permanent capability to work, it is no wonder that more and more of us wage slaves are resorting to trolley dolly briefcases and creating traffic and health and safety havoc across our towns and cities at rush hour. Can anyone help explain this or even better come up with a solution.

Have a great week.

Sit felix. Et sit fortunatus.