X factor Reports

I note with some surprise and incredulity that last week’s thoughts were likened to Radio 4’s ‘Thought for the Day’. I am not sure if you meant this as a compliment or not but I shall assume the former unless I hear to the contrary. It is incredibly flattering to be likened to an iconic broadcast institution.

Now let’s see what I can do this week. Can I live up to such an exalted standard?

Working as I do in a bureaucratic machine I spend much of my time writing reports or reviewing the reports of others. I like to point out to my salariat colleagues that there is no archaeological or documentary evidence that would support the thesis that a great civilisation is built through report writing. My complaints on this matter, as so many of my complaints do, fall on deaf ears. And so I and those around me continue to write reports.

Still if I look at this more positively I see reports as an advert for my thinking and insight that I want people to buy. And like producing any other ad, report writing is a skill, a craft, an art.

So if you will forgive and indulge Cicero’s arrogance yet again I thought I might share you with my golden rules of report writing.

Rule 1: Remember the reader and the result

Like any other ad or piece of marketing communication understand who will read the report and why. As with so much else the golden principle of the marketing 3 Rs applies here as in crafting an d-remember the reader and the result.

Establish at the outset the objective for the communications or (in report writing terms) understand your Terms of Reference. Your objective should encapsulate:
 What you want to communicate …
 … to whom …
 … and why-what do you want the reader to do

Once you’ve established a focused objective, this should act as the guiding light for the rest of your report. This will help make the structuring and writing processes much faster and easier.

Rule 2: Structure your report – quickly and easily

When Steven Spielberg starts out to make a film he will storyboard it which allows him to put down on paper how he sees the film before he starts to film anything and which helps bring the film to life for him, the cast and the crew. A good director will use the storyboards as a starting point but will adapt this when filming starts as new ideas and situations emerge during the production process.

My reports start out like ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ though there the similarity ends. I start out with a storyboard with list of main headings and sub headings and points to make under each. This helps me see how my argument is developing and ensures that I remain constant to my objective.

Reports like films can be fairly long documents. To make their production as efficient as possible, it pays to think like Steven Spielberg and to structure your thoughts, you arguments, your report as early in the production process as possible.

When structuring, it helps to remember that reports are highly formulaic and there will be a formula for your business but most will include some or all of the following elements:

• An introduction which states the aim or objective of the paper
• Outline your research approach
• Presentation of your results.
• Analysis or discussion of the results
• Conclusions and recommendations.
• Resource impact including costs and benefits and timescales

Rule 3: Be ruthless and relevant

No matter how interesting the content might be, if it doesn’t help you meet your objective, it should be sidelined. Be ruthless. If you really can't delete it altogether, then relegate it to the appendices. After all, if content is not relevant it is confusing. In report writing, as with so many things in life, less truly is more. Think that every word, sentence or phrase has to justify its space on the paper. If you can’t justify it, delete it. Maybe I should apply this logic to Cicero Speaks though a blank page is nowhere near as interesting.

I know report writing is not the most riveting topic for a marketer but believe me it is an essential skill to master. Hopefully my thoughts are help to mastery. Maybe we should introduce a judo type approach to report writing. Please get in touch if you are a Black Belt in this.

Is it only me?

I would guess from your slavish devotion to these pages that you are not an aficionado of celebrity tittle tattle. If so last week’s news that Leona Lewis, a chanteuse from some TV talent contest, was punched in the face when signing copies of her recently published autobiography by some other celebrity wannabe, might have passed you by.

I was shocked on reading this. And I am sure you will be too.

Leona Lewis is only 24 and yet she has managed to write a 304 page autobiography. That is 12 pages per year and if we accept that her memories for first 5 years might be a wee bit hazy and that in these years all you pretty much do is poo, eat, sleep and cry, and I would doubt that celebrity chanteuses do these things in a more interesting way than mere mortals like you and me, then pages per year count goes up.
Is it only me but how can anyone so young have had full enough life in their first 24 years to write 304 interesting pages? Ye Gods, I am more than a wee bit older than this celebrity songbird and I would struggle to fill 304 pages with anything interesting to say.

As is the wont in today’s society, I am going to propose that the government sets up a Celebrity Autobiography Authority to regulate and license the publication of celebrity autobiographies ensuring a good age per page quotient and to set standards on dealing with the celebrities early years.

I am now on a mission to find the youngest autobiography with the most pages. With your help I can do it. Please send your suggestions to me through these pages.
Have a great week and I look forward to receiving your finds.

Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.