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Saturday 20 February 2010

For hands that do dishes....

This will be the last week Cicero reports from the TSSB with its malfunctioning lifts. We are moving.

Cicero is going to remain a State apparatchik for a wee while yet but he is moving to a new TSSB from the end of this week. Obviously the location of this building cannot be revealed for reasons of national security but you can be assured that in this location the lifts will work and that every whim of tired and stressed apparatchiks of the State will be well catered for in a non taxpayer subsidised sort of way. This place is so secret that from now on in this column it will be known only as a Very Top Secret State Bunker or VTSSB for short.

Thought you might be interested.

It seems that last week’s words lacked their accustomed bite and satirical barbs. This was not intended. Nor was it an example of Cicero backing down after provoking the ire of the breeders and baby incubators. Cicero tells it as he sees it each week. There is always the intention to provoke and stimulate. Never to cause real personal offence and upset.

Now let us start this week with a quiz.

Who can remember these advertising slogans as seen on TV ads and guess the right brand?

‘Beanz means xxxxx’; ‘ The future’s bright, the future’s xxxxx’; A xxxxx a day helps you works rest and play; ‘For hands that do dishes’; ‘Vorsprung durch technik’; ‘The world’s favourite airline’ ‘The Bank that likes to say yes’; ‘A taste of paradise’.

We could play this game all week if you want and for those really interested and looking for a reminder of these classic strap lines you will find the answers at the end of this week’s words of wisdom and insight.

And now who can tell us what strap line today goes with each of these brands or its successor?

Well done if you get all right or even close. And given that Cicero does not know either then there are no answers provided here on the current slogans.

But that is not really the point. This is not an advertising trivia quiz but some thoughts on the propensity of great brands and their Marketing Grands Fromages to switch and change brand slogans with the speed of an MP flipping their housing arrangements. Surely it should not be like this?

Imagine the shock, pain and horror when a Marketing Grand Fromage finds out through research that a long redundant slogan is still instantly recalled by consumer groups and the new slogan in which a multi pound and multi channel advertising campaign has been invested is not.

When Cicero was a Marketing Grand Fromage in charge of managing advertising slogans the agencies would constantly urge a change of positioning and strategy on a basis that the current ones were showing signs of wear and tear. Really? Tyres show signs of wear and tear but in Cicero’s experience consumers rarely tire of a great advertising slogan backed up by great creativity. Agencies and Marketing Grand Fromages get fed up long before the consumers even notice.

And of course any new Marketing Grand Fromage assuming responsibility for a brand wants to make a mark, a difference, get noticed. So, what does she, or he, do? They change agencies and with this change comes a new look, a new positioning, a new strap line. Even if the brand does not need it.

Brands are meant to endure. They are meant to offer consistency. They are meant to be about a promise. They are not meant to be about one night stands but a relationship. How can you be all this when you chop and change what you stand for?

It is difficult to do great and successful marketing in today’s multi channel media market. So much easier to do when there was only one, or even two, commercial TV stations and when newspapers were bought and read on a daily basis. Think of all the ways we consume media today. Surely this is a call for far greater consistency and longevity. Never ever under-estimate how difficult it is to break through the noise, the clutter and the buzz to build a slogan that is recognised, remembered and resonates by and with the target market.

Sure there will be times when there will be a real business need to re-build your positioning, your brand and your slogan. These times are a lot rarer than you think, and should be driven by the needs of the brand and the business not the ego of the Marketing Grand Fromage.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. And for hands that do dishes and need something else to do to stop meddling, go try something else to help you work, rest and play.

Is it only me……who thinks that this is no way to fight a war?

Cicero is bemused and perplexed. Now Cicero is no military man in the mould of Pompey, Caesar or Scipio but not having any real knowledge of a subject has never before stopped Cicero from passing comment, enlightened or otherwise. Yet Cicero is hugely surprised by how much notice we have given the enemy of our intentions in Afghanistan.

Now it might only be me but since when have we started to tell our enemies pretty much when and where we were going to attack. In World War 2 prior to the Normandy landings, our side took every possible step to conceal where and when the landings were going to take place, to the extent that a decoy army was created to help convince the Germans that we were going to attack somewhere else. We did something similar in the Falklands even though the Argies knew we were coming. In the first Gulf War Storming Norman learnt from Hannibal to dupe the Iraquis from where the attack was going to come.

Now it seems we send an invite to the Taliban telling them when and where we are going to attack, be there or be square. We even have American leaders telling the Taliban that if you stay quiet and out of hair for about 18 months then we will take our ball home and be gone.

Does it never occur to these military geniuses, as it occurs to Cicero, that all the Taliban have to do is be as far away as possible form the battle zone on Saturday at 3pm when it all kicks off and then hide in their caves until the White Man has gone and then they win?

The world is indeed a funny place.

Have a good week.

Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.

How many did you get right? Heinz Baked Beans; Orange; Mars Bars; Fairy Liquid; Audi; British Airways; TSB; Bounty.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Very wise words Cicero. We form attachments to certain slogans and brands, especially if we become aware of them when we are young new consumers, which explains all those we remember from our childhood. Who can forget the little aliens from the mashed potato adverts. Do you remember the little slogan? As to your views on the progress? of the war. Perhaps the allies are trying to lull the Taliban into a false sense of security by making them believe that our generals are rubbish at strategy? Or maybe they just really are....in which case the Taliban are being lulled into a true sense of security! (guadi)