Singing in the rain

If you have been watching watching to see if I am showing a softer tone now that I have met a real life Health and Safety Gauleiter, I would be interested if any discernible difference has been noted. It is however still early days and we have not yet had the chance to have a substantive discussion on health and safety nanny-ism. I shall of course keep you posted on how the discussions progress. I know you will be waiting with bated breath. Is it only me...but we are never happy even though Shakespeare did refer to us as ‘this happy breed. As I write these musings for your education and enlightenment I can hear and feel the rain battering against the fenestration, or windows if sadly you lack a Classical education. The sky is slate grey and it is clear that we are in the grip of an Atlantic depression which will surely last for a few days bringing with it low slung leaden skies, blowy winds and liquid precipitation or rain. You would think this might make us happy or at least allow us to blow a wee sigh of relief. Heaven forbid. We are never happy. Yet only last week parts of the land were declared arid and in the grip of a dry drought. And in these parts watering with sprinklers and hosepipes was declared verboten. And straightaway people took to the airwaves to complain about the effect such restrictions would have on their gladioli, geraniums and fuchsias. Poor you, was my instant reaction. Livestock might be soon crying out for a drink, people might be trekking miles to the nearest well and Bob Geldof might be needed to swear at us to donate money now to stop famine and drought in Tunbridge Wells, but so long as you can water your plants and gardens, all is well in the world. Now it might only be me but I would have thought that the arrival of the rains on the plains of the Home Counties would be really welcome news. You would have thought that this might mean that we might delay the inevitability of a charity record for a wee bit; that we would not be seeing the sight of the women of Epsom, Ascot and Esher trekking for miles in their Volvos and BMWS to collect water from the nearest artesian well; and most importantly that our herbaceous borders might be saved. This news might have brought a smile to our faces. Fat chance. Instead we have depressed weather girls and meteorological Apparatchiks depressingly announcing the arrival of the depression and without any trace of a smile or relief letting us know that this depression was going to stick around for a wee bit. Come on, people, surely this is good news for once. Let us celebrate, enjoy and exclaim the arrival of the rains. We might not see their like again for a bit. Have a really great week (in the rain). And should you find yourself stuck in doors on a grey and wet day, unable to water the garden, you might find an interesting read at www.themarketingcomic.blogspot.com. Learn what Alan Sugar, Ariel and Domestos have in common in ‘You’re Fired’. Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.