The times they are a-changing

Greetings, amici.

Thank you for sending through details of useless apps. No one has yet sent me information on a useful app which just goes to prove my point. You have until midnight on Friday 4th June to send me through your thoughts on useful and useless apps and then we will decide a winner.

You will also note that in last week’s comments one of you has implied that Cicero is a Luddite, a dinosaur, a has been. You cannot be serious. Cicero refutes, rejects and resents such accusations. How can such things be said?

And it seems that there is some interest in discovering more about the writer of this wisdom. Indeed someone has dared to suggest that Cicero might be a composite. Surely it is doubtful that more than one could possess such wisdom and insight.

Unlike the Stig, a character on a motoring TV programme, Cicero does not hide behind a helmet and a racing suit. Even when traversing the capital on his way to the VTSSB on his wee bike, Cicero ignores the pleas of our Health and Safety Gauleiters and even refuses to wear a helmet.

There is one way to recognise Cicero. He always wears his trademark bold stripey socks. We must all look to be distinctive, to stand out from the crowd. Surely that is a marketing adage and marketing ourselves should be no different. Don’t you agree? And in these tough times for State Apparatchiks and others this is going to be increasingly important.

Which reminds Cicero of an incident last week in the VTSSB.

Below is an extract from a Cicero’ speech in the VTSSB last week to the Appartachiks. It might lack the polish of the prose in ‘Pro Sulla’ but it does contain useful nuggets of wisdom and insight for us all.

‘Colleagues, the two Caesars have decided and decreed that for us the times are to be a-changing. We have been living beyond our means and we must now all tighten our belts. This will be difficult for us all but we can get through this and I am here to help you.

‘Change is never easy. We hate change. It unsettles us. We grow fearful. But change is constant and we must learn to deal with it, to accept it, to embrace it.

‘Change is rarely democratic. It is dictatorial. It is imposed on us. It is done unto us.

‘And that is why we hate it.

‘But my advice to you today, my dear colleagues is to take ownership of those aspects of the change that you can influence and can do something about. You cannot determine what is going to happen to your job. The Caesars will decide that. But you can start to create options for yourself or you can wait for the fates to decide your fate. The choice is yours.

‘I would always want to create options. It means I am in a wee bit more control of my life and it’s my life, your life, we are talking about here. So get the CVs ready, practice the interview technique, search the job columns. Take control of what you can.

‘And when writing your CV, think of yourself as a brand. You are Marketing Petits Fromages. Think marketing. And market yourself using the tools and techniques you would use to market anything else. It is no different. You now have responsibility for marketing the ultimate product. You.

‘Why are you different and better than anyone else? What is your USP, your unique selling point? If you don’t know that, can’t work it out, how are you going to expect others to know what they are buying? Test your thinking on those who know you best to check you truly deliver your brand promise, that you genuinely walk the talk.

‘And once you have worked out what you are going to stand for, think about how you are going to communicate that in your CV. Think tone of voice, think look and feel, think language. Your CV is your brochure. Your call to action. Are you an Ariel kind of person, modern and progressive, or Times New Roman, classic and timeless with a wee bit of old fashioned added? Heaven forbid you might be a Monotype Corsiva. Remember Cicero’s Golden Rule of Marketing-everything communicates.

‘Think too about routes to market. How you going to reach the people you want to reach i.e. those who are recruiting. Use all the routes to market, you can find and think of. Why restrict yourself to just one or two? Employer websites, newspapers, head-hunters and recruitment agencies are the obvious places to start but what about your network and your network’s network. How are you going to reach them? Most jobs are not in fact advertised so how are you going to promote your brand to recruiters who don’t show themselves? How are you going to reach your hard to reach audience?

‘Colleagues, as Mr Dylan said ‘you’d better start swimming or you’ll sink like a stone, for the times they are a-changing’. Let us start swimming together. Let us start now. Let’s get on with it………….’

The rest of Cicero’s address is indecipherable at this point.

It is not just in VTSSBs that the times are a-changing. The times are a-changing everywhere all the time for all of us. Hopefully you might now be a wee bit prepared and ready to deal with these times now that Cicero has shared his thinking with you. May the force be with us all.

Is it only me……but surely we should be proud of this?

Cicero was wending his weary way home from his VTSSB the day Betty went to greet the new Caesars and all their little helpers and closed all the roads in central London between Buck House and Parliament.

On a newspaper stand he saw the headline ‘Peace Camp-our shame’. This was a reference to a tribe of squatters who have pretty much taken up permanent residence on the green opposite the Houses of Parliament in the name of peace. Admittedly, this is a bit of an eyesore on the green sward though doubtfully Betty and Phil would have paid it too much attention. They will have seen a lot worse surely.

Now it might only be me, and it usually is, but surely it is wrong for us to be ashamed of this. Should we not be fiercely proud?

Does this not represent all that is great in a democracy such as ours? Does it not celebrate freedom of speech? Does it not represent our individual and collective rights and liberties? Does it not demonstrate our tolerance as a society for the diversity of thoughts, opinions and views that swirl and meld within us?

In many countries, even so called democratic ones, such freedom of expression would not be tolerated. Those who held them would be shunted into gulags or force fitted with an orange suit and despatched to Guantanomo Bay never to be heard from again. Or they would be swept up off the streets like used cigarette butts and dumped somewhere else, usually with a blue lamp outside, until Betty and Phil had done their business. Is that what we want?

So let us not be ashamed as our newspaper editor wants us to be, but proud that in our society diverse thoughts can co-exist contiguously with so called mainstream thinking.

Are you proud? Or are you ashamed?

Have a great week.

Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.