Dedicated follower of fashion

Thank you for last week’s comments on my appreciation of the Two Caesar’s policy of listening to us, The Great British Public. I know not all of you agree with this stance which is fine but I do find it interesting that it is my views on the political situation that gets people stirred up.

No politics this week however.

Is it only me...but some people really do need protecting from themselves.
A few nights back I was travelling home. And standing at a bus stop at the side of the road was a man five feet nothing tall and roughly the same in breadth and depth. He was almost a perfect cube.

However it was not his shape that intrigued me but what he was wearing.

Now before I go on, I acknowledge freely that fashions and clothes are not my strong suit but I do know what goes with what and I do respect some basic rules of society’s dress code.

Sadly this man didn’t.

And too often these days we are seeing men, and women, failing to pay the slightest attention to what they are wearing, how they are wearing and how ridiculous they look.

Let me try describe this man’s outfit.

Firstly he was wearing on his feet a pair of light brown ersatz suede slip-on training shoes. However given this man’s shape the only sport he could possibly be in training for was darts.

Above these shoes he wore a pair of very long baggy shorts in the bri-est of black bri-nylon whose length ballooned down his skinny pale legs to just a couple of inches above his trainers.

And the shirt completed the ensemble. It was a baggy green shirt in the finest polystyrene. However the green was not the green of grass but was a shade of green that you would only see in a Dali painting or when under the influence of hallucinogenic drugs. Indeed the last time I saw this particular shade of puce was after an especially dodgy prawn bhuna.

Get the picture?

I cannot believe that this man thought his dress was acceptable.

Sadly this is a sight we see too often these days on our high streets. And it is not a sight confined to men. Women too have been known to put together some absolutely horrendous collections of colours and styles. Sometimes with women all that happens is they end up looking like mutton dressed as mutton.

And when we see these pictures we only want to scream ‘....what exactly were you thinking of when you bought those clothes? What made you think that that combination of styles and colours made you look good?’

Now maybe it’s only me but I do think that some people need to be stopped from buying certain items of inappropriate clothing before they make a right fool of themselves when out in public. Just like my man.

Those of you who are regular readers of these fine words will be aware that I am not a big fan of nanny-ism but sometimes there is no alternative and it is in some people’s best interests that they are stopped from self harm and self humiliation.

Yes, I do know that fashion is a subjective thing but some people and some wardrobe items just do not mix and even those deemed visually impaired could take steps to stop such obvious fashion faux pas.

To avoid future fashion disasters it might be best if we trained our sales assistants to politely advise their customers that if they wore what they are intent on purchasing they would be committing a crime against human decency and that they would be better buying something else.

Don’t you agree?

Please feel free to share the fashion disasters you have seen.

Have a great week.

Sis Felix. Et sis fortunatus.