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Could someone explain to Cicero why some people, usually Distaffs,
have an unhealthy obsession with cosmetic surgery?
He really doesn’t get it.
It is a mystery to a wizened old prune like Cicero why Distaffs
subject themselves voluntarily to needless and pointless surgery, pills, potion
and injections to the point of pain. And they even have to pay good bawbees for
the privilege of being pained, a lot of good bawbees in fact.
It is not as if they are sick. Or are they? Maybe they are
like junkies always needing a fix, the next nip and tuck, the next cosmetic
application.
Cicero has got through the many years of his life by
sticking to his oft quoted maxim that if it can’t be fixed with a comb, it is
not worth bothering about. And yet even with such a minimal beauty treatment he
still manages to appear highly presentable at all times.
Cicero has heard tell of one so-called ‘Human Barbie’
reputed to have spent in excess of £250 000 over hundreds of nips and tucks and
injections and augmentations so that she might look good. Why?
It has been said that some require these superficial and artificial
crutches to remedy and address self-esteem issues. Really? It would be much
cheaper and far less painful to buy and read a book. Broaden the mind not the bust
seems to Cicero to be a much better strategy to improving self-esteem.
And in this regard he would recommend anything by his mates Livy,
Ovid and Demosthenes but suggests you avoid Catullus. Of course anything by
Cicero himself would be might fine. They can of course be ordered on that
modern day invention called Amazon.
Cicero has found through many centuries that books are a far more satisfying, less painful and not as costly way to plug self-esteem gaps.
And maybe learned readers of these fine words might care to
identify other ways to improve self-esteem. Answers below, please.
Distaffs, you are fine as you are. Stop treating your bodies
as a building requiring constant renovation and repair.
In the meantime have a great day.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
1 comment:
Dearest Cicero, please allow me to enlighten you. As you will know from Cleopatra and her penchant for bathing in ass' milk, women have an inherent desire to feel attractive. The very existence of the human race is, in part, dependent on men and women feeling attraction for each other to the extent that they reproduce, so it is arguably of more value than all the reading and waffling, with which you trouble yourself.
There are also very weighty sociological pressures on women to look slim, young and beautiful. Every magazine, even the non-fashion ones, condemn us and encourage us to be healthier, thinner, to buy anti-aging products and generally to feel inadequate. Of course that's wrong and marketing professionals should take responsibility for the effect such messages are having on younger girls in particular.
However, as if that's not bad enough, there is also an equal and opposite negative reaction lashed out to women when they try and find a solution. I have yet to see a programme about cosmetic surgery that isn't dwelling on the vanity and pointlessness of it all or that doesn't list all the various ways that it can go wrong and you can be left scarred for life - literally!
There's also the public outrage at the expense of cosmetic surgery but how much does society waste each year on cigarettes, alcohol, cars and holidays? Are they necessary? No! But do we condemn people for the money they waste on these pastimes? No!
It's important to bear in mind that not all women use cosmetic surgery to get a bigger chest. A lot, including the "Human Barbie", to whom you elude, have had a reduction. This can be life-changing as it prevents them suffering with back-pain and unwelcome torso interest from wolf-whistling builders!
There are also many women who have had a mammography (removal of a breast) owing to cancer, who no longer feel complete, whose lives are totally restored with reconstructive surgery. How can we deny them the opportunity to reclaim their lives after what they've been through?
I accept that not everyone has this level of need but providing they have the money and are not hurting anyone else, if it gives women the boost they need to get out there and feel equal to the destructive media imagery, where's the harm? At least it offers women a way forward rather than being dammed if they do and dammed if they don't!
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