Mirror, mirror, on the wall...

Could someone explain to Cicero why some people, usually Distaffs, have an unhealthy obsession with cosmetic surgery?

He really doesn’t get it.

It is a mystery to a wizened old prune like Cicero why Distaffs subject themselves voluntarily to needless and pointless surgery, pills, potion and injections to the point of pain. And they even have to pay good bawbees for the privilege of being pained, a lot of good bawbees in fact.

It is not as if they are sick. Or are they? Maybe they are like junkies always needing a fix, the next nip and tuck, the next cosmetic application.

Cicero has got through the many years of his life by sticking to his oft quoted maxim that if it can’t be fixed with a comb, it is not worth bothering about. And yet even with such a minimal beauty treatment he still manages to appear highly presentable at all times.

Cicero has heard tell of one so-called ‘Human Barbie’ reputed to have spent in excess of £250 000 over hundreds of nips and tucks and injections and augmentations so that she might look good. Why?

It has been said that some require these superficial and artificial crutches to remedy and address self-esteem issues. Really? It would be much cheaper and far less painful to buy and read a book. Broaden the mind not the bust seems to Cicero to be a much better strategy to improving self-esteem.

And in this regard he would recommend anything by his mates Livy, Ovid and Demosthenes but suggests you avoid Catullus. Of course anything by Cicero himself would be might fine. They can of course be ordered on that modern day invention called Amazon.

Cicero has found through many centuries that books are a far more satisfying, less painful and not as costly way to plug self-esteem gaps.

And maybe learned readers of these fine words might care to identify other ways to improve self-esteem. Answers below, please.

Distaffs, you are fine as you are. Stop treating your bodies as a building requiring constant renovation and repair.

In the meantime have a great day.

Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.

Things we say

Is it only me...but we do say some really stupid things.

Last week I saw someone turn their house upside and down and inside and out looking for their spectacles or their wallet or some other essential accessory. I cannot quite remember what they were looking for but it was important and nothing was going to move until this item was found.

Cupboards were opened and the contents lifted and checked; cushions were thrown asunder as the sofa was ransacked with great ferocity; papers were strewn around various rooms lest the missing item might be lurking beneath. I was fully expecting full body searches to be the next thing to be done when fortunately the lost article was finally found before the Marigolds were donned.

‘It’s always in the last place you look for it’, said my friend mightily relieved to be re-united with their precious accessory.

Now it might only be me but this is a really stupid thing to say.
Of course the thing you are looking for is always going to be in the last place you look. Who in their right mind is going to keep on looking after they thing they are looking for has been found? Why would you?

It is therefore a statement of the bleeding obvious to find that which is lost in the place you looked in last otherwise you will not have found it because you gave up looking before you got to the last place where you found it; or alternatively you kept looking long after you had found it, though what you would be looking for at this point is beyond me.

It is not just the English language that gives rise to such stupidity-my very good friend Catullus coined many a strange phrase in his poetry. Check it out if you don’t believe me though be prepared for some really strong language.

I am sure there are many other stupid sayings that the folk around you say. I am going to collect these and this may be a subject to which we will return in the coming weeks and months. Please feel free to share with me and my devoted following other examples of stupid things people say.

In meantime have a great week.

And don’t forget to take a look at www.themarketingcomic.blogpost.com for more insightful comment. You know it makes sense.

Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.