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Words often fail Cicero. And here we go again.
Now ‘The Grauniad’ is not a paper Cicero frequently reads.
Seemingly this is something to do with its left- wing, PC-driven, Apparatchik
bias, which may or not be correct.
But a few days back Cicero’s attention was
drawn to a story there of such preposterousness that it not only astounded Dear
Cicero but given the absence of comment from Ms Toynbee, its venerably biased
and prejudiced commentator, must have dumbfounded ‘The Grauniad’ too.
Those of you personally acquainted with Cicero will be aware
that he is not what you might call slight. Indeed in common with many in this
fine nation he is what you might call verging on the fat, or to give it its new
politically correct label, obese.
This does not significantly worry Cicero. It is self-inflicted.
And he recognises that if he lacks the self control he needs not to reach out
and gobble foodstuffs laden with sugar, fat and calories, that is his problem.
Sadly not everyone shares such an enlightened view.
For it now appears that a Danish Fat Arse has gone to the
European Court of Justice to argue that being fat should be treated as a
disability with all that that entails.
And no Cicero is not kidding. (For more details and to prove the veracity of this tale see link at bottom of these words of wit and wisdom).
It is not as if Fat Arse is blind. Uses a wheelchair. Or has
some other mobility or sensory impairment. Seemingly he can’t tie his shoe
laces due to his lard. Seriously. That’s it.
If the Court agrees, and there is no reason given its track
record in thinking illogically and irrationally, people with an excess of
avoirdupois will have the legal right to receive the same rights and benefits,
often of course funded by hard pressed taxpayers, as those truly disabled by
real life health conditions rather than by self-inflicted abuse.
Let us briefly consider the implications. And then you will
see just how ludicrous this might be.
Employers will be required to make reasonable adjustments
for their fatty employees. This might mean bigger chairs to hold and constrain
widening girths. It might even mean reserving parking spaces close to the
office to reduce waddling time, even though of course optimising waddling time
might provide some much needed highly beneficial exercise.
And of course as disabled the fat will be entitled to blue
badges so even more of these will be given out, entitling holders to abandon
their chariots for free wherever and
whenever they choose. Does anyone else feel like these days they are the only
ones not entitled to a Blue Badge?
It is also not beyond the bounds of possibility that
employers might need to provide bigger plates for these people. This would be
deemed a reasonable adjustment that they might continue to gorge and maintain
their levels of fatness.
No doubt anyone out there who works in the field of
disability access will advise on what more could and must be done to
incorporate the needs of the fat lards in the workplace. Your comments welcome.
And of course we have not even discussed their ability to
claim benefits previously denied to them and to others who take better care of
their health and who eat sensibly but who will now will be required to fund this
self-inflicted disability. ATOS is going to have a field day.
Cicero will bring news on this ludicrous quest for justice
as it develops.
Sis felix. Et sis fortunatus.
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